Is it better to be feared or loved?

Question

I think there's some reason to the saying it's better to be feared than loved. Like last year I was real cold to everyone and I pushed down and sometimes beat up those who opposed me at school and it was going good except I wasn't making any new friends. this year I'm trying to be super nice to everyone and now they tease me and make fun of me a little sometimes. like I know some judo and aikido. Last year some guy was scared of me. Now I'm ncie to him and his friends. Last year people was all like wow man you can probably kick just about anybody's ***. Now they are like he's bigger and weighs more than you, you don't stand a chance. So do you really get more respect if you are feared rather than loved?

Answer 1

LOVED BECAUSE IF YOU ARE FEARED YOU ARE ALONE SO UNLESS YOU LIKE BEING BY YOURSELF LOVE IS BETTER

Answer 2

the problem with the scenario you've given is that you haven't experienced being "loved" by your peers yet, you just said you were being nice and then they treated you bad. Try avioding this issue of who is toughest, it seems that because of the way you acted previously, all of your peers are still treating you like a bully or badass. Except, like a badass who has gotten soft. Next time people talk crap or compare you to another tough guy, just laugh and say, "you're funny," or, "What do I care if he;s tougher then me? It's not like he's my enemy or anything, actually he's a pretty nice guy!" Also, the saying you are quoting is in reference to ruling a country or government, where you are superior to those around you. On an equal playing field you never want to be feared, because then you will just be avoided, like you said before. When ruling a country being feared is favorable to being loved because fear "inspires" obedience, while love just keeps the average citizen hapy, but not under control. Since you aren't a ruler of any kind and you just want to make friends shoot for being loved.

Answer 3

You've posed the question in a childish context but Machiavelli discussed the same one.

It depends on the context. Generally, it is best to be RESPECTED than either feared or loved.

In the situation of a human relationship that is one-to-one, it is unthinkable to inject the element of FEAR and one hopes for love to arise out of respect. In fact, fear is useful only if you are faced with the prospect of war, rebellion, or violence and wish to forestall it. Respect leads to cooperation, friendship and, sometimes, love.

Starting with Love often is confused with starting with infatuation, which doesn't last. Infatuation is useful only when it transitions into friendship and intimacy ( not necessarily of the physical variety ).

Answer 4

Why just one or the other?

Why not be respected? You can do this without beating everybody up or kissing up to everybody.

Just try to be pleasant, but not aggressive or Mr. Smiley.

I assume you are still in school, so why not study hard and get good grades? People will respect you for that. And, you will be preparing yourself for University or employment.

Why do you really care about other's opinion of you? Your own self-esteem is what counts.

Answer 5

wow i think you must be young because as you get a bit older this would not probably be a relevant question for you to ask. the fact that you liked being feared could be disturbing. but i suppose people do like to be powerful. you have the gift of strength use it wisely. you could be so much more. if you know martial arts there are good laws to live by there. not just brute strenghth. people will recognize what is in you you do not need to prove yourself. good people recognize others who are good. so i guess for me love would always be the answer. even if you prefer to be powerful -to be great is to empower others with your gifts also.

Answer 6

You sound like a school bully. That's sad. You get more respect by having 'character'. You can't fight your way through life! You have to show respect for others and their things, and you need to show compassion to those who need support, and you should show understanding to those who are having a hard time.... Show respect to girls and watch how you treat them and how you talk to them. And TRUST is the key to being respected. Let your word be true. Anybody can use their fists .... but only a wise one will look at others as better than self. Think about it.

Answer 7

I am very fearful because of a situation a long time ago.
I think that you do not get respect you earn it. I know a
person that everyone fears at work because of the way
he acts. He gets laughed at when he is not there. I
have tried to act nice to him and he still wants to instills
fear in me and others. I just wish I could find a way into
his heart. I think it is nice to have a balance of love and
respect of yourself and others .

Answer 8

If you make others fear you there's no changing the impact. People will always be wary about you and even though you make friends by being nice, they'll still fear you atleast 1% more than they love you. Besides if you are feared you'll be alone and nobody'll like you. Would you like that??

Answer 9

i think it is better to be feared than loved because with love comes hate and that means out of 100 people, 40 people love you and 60 people hate you but if you are feared than you can live a life of total peace knowing no one can oppose or harm you.

Answer 10

Don't take yourself too seriously, and learn to be able to laugh at yourself. Beating people up and being percieved as a threat is really not a good way to live a happy life good luck and smile

Answer 11

It depends what you want. Power and influence don't work with love, love is far too subjective for that. So if you want to be a politician or a world ruler love is not for you. If you want to interact nicely with other people go with love.