after many years of persuing me and wanting me, i finally gave in to him and fell in love with him. NOW for some strange reason, he stopped asking me out and he barely wants to talk to me. i feel rejected and so down. i feel like my heart is broken. y did he want me to fall in love with him and not consider me? y would a guy b so cruel. i told him from the start i did not want to b hurt so i did not accept at first. i decided to accept cause i thought it was wrong to let him linger. but now he acts like he doesnt care, i've never been so upset in my life. please give me some good advice. i cant stop crying
2007-10-19 17:46:04 · 16 answers · asked by prettyinpink i 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm sorry you feel so hurt. Although you're justified in everything you're feeling, the truth is he probably didn't set out to deliberately hurt you. I'm not defending him, because what he did was wrong.....but I don't think it was a plan.
There are MANY people who want what they can't have (hence his pursuit of you until you "gave in and fell in love".) Once they get what they want, they rapidly lose interest in whoever or whatever they seemed to want so badly.
That's why compulsive shoppers keep buying stuff they don't need - even to the point of going into serious debt or bankruptcy. And it's the reason why guys like this one end up hurting sincere people like yourself. I seriously doubt he planned to hurt you....it's just that he's so unstable and so dissatisifed with everything that nothing makes him happy. But he keeps on trying.
That's a serious character flaw in him, not you - and it's a vice that carries it's own set of penalties. No matter how many relationships he becomes involved in, (or how many fancy cars or computers he may eventually own), he will never derive any happiness or satisfaction in any of those things..and he'll keep bouncing from one unhappy relationship to the next. Meanwhile you'll recover from this hurt, move on, and probably find a wonderful relationship with someone as stable and sensitive as you are, because you don't have the problem this man does.
I know it's almost impossible to look beyond the hurt and sense of betrayal you must be feeling right now, but I'm reading enough between the lines of your question to know that YOU will be alright! I can't say the same thing about your former friend....
Good luck and best wishes to you.
2007-10-19 17:59:09 · answer #1 · answered by CassandraM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi prettyinpink
I'm sorry you're going through this dilemma. We all wish we could meet someone fall in love and live happily ever after. That could probably only happen in the movies. Why are men so cruel well the only answer I can give you as why he's treating this way is because he just doesn't love you. Try your best to get over him seek counseling if you need to. But you cant force love on anyone.Unfortunately he was only seeking to be with you. I hope you recover fast from your heartbreak and move on. Best Wishes
2007-10-20 11:00:34 · answer #2 · answered by Cobra 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, not all men are cruel.
Secondly, the reason the guy you are referring to stopped asking you out and now barley wants to talk to you, is probably because once he got to know you, you didn't turn out to be what he expected you to be and what he hoped for.
Feelings of rejection are normal, us guys have them feelings too. But people don't care when a boy is let down, we are expected to deal with it, whereas you women are expected to be upset and emotional. You can even get away with crying!
Don't cry over this one man. If he really is cruel and has hurt you that much, then he isn't worth anything. Let alone tears.
Move on, find another guy, one that wont hurt you.
You might not find one instantly but i promise you, that one day you will.
One day you will find you dream guy.
There is someone out there for everyone.
2007-10-19 17:56:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
At least you didn't give him actual sex, because that's one piece of jewelry you can't get back.
Not only that but you could have been stuck with a baby by him and he didn't even like you... that much!
You'd have to deal with him, if not for the rest of your life but till your baby is at least 18 to 21!
2014-08-04 14:55:12 · answer #4 · answered by Sue So True 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men love to play games. They get off on toying with womens emotions. They pretend like they are great guys, then they leave so you can't find out how messed up they are. They base their manhood on conquering a woman rather than taking care of one. Cowards, plain and simple. Most of us have to learn that the hard way and it looks like you did. I'm sorry you're so hurt, and it will hurt for a while because it's so confusing. I've been there and so have most women. Just understand that you aren't the first to go through it and you won't be the last. Good luck, hun.
2007-10-19 18:01:26 · answer #5 · answered by Tkatinpdx 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Men like the chase. Some men just like the chase. Once they have caught you, it isn't as much fun anymore.
I had this happen. It felt like the world had stopped turning....awful and heart wrenching. He seemed to love me so much!!! What a load of crap.
Pleeeease....run the other way. Don't let him catch you again. These type of men are toxic and will make you feel like garbage. You aren't, he is. Cheer up, there are many fish in the sea that enjoy the chase and the catch :)
2007-10-19 17:57:34 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hey, not all guys are cruel. Some might seem that way but not all of them are. Yeah he might be an *** but he may have wanted you but that doesn't mean he knows how 2 treat a lady. there are millions of guys out there and i know you've heared this a million times before but trust me, some where out there there's THE guy for you.
2007-10-19 18:05:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been down that road before. It's obvious that he has issues. He pursued you because it was a game to him and he liked the challenge. Guys like him have low self-esteem. The best thing you can do is keep busy and move on. Don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch. Good luck! $:)
2007-10-19 17:53:18 · answer #8 · answered by peaches6 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Y r women human beings so merciless to adult males? is the be conscious "some" no longer on your vocabulary or do u experience the choose 2 bunch all human beings up in one tightly in positive condition kit and blame all of them...nicely ok, thats what i will do too.
2016-10-04 05:05:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly i would never do that to a girl & im sorry he turned to be an asshole but i guess for him it was all about the chase. he felt he couldnt have you so he tried hard and when he did his objective was done. best way to not think about it is to focus on your life/career. once again sorry for that butthole.
gl & peace
2007-10-19 17:48:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋