Step-daughter trouble?

Question

My 8 year old step-daughter had a slumber party at our house last time she stayed here..

She invited 4 girls, 1 of which had held a slumber party a month or so before that my step-daughter attended..

They were playing little tricks on each other all night and one of the girls came and asked me if they could get some of my youngest daughter (2)'s pullups out of the bathroom because they were using them for a prank. I said sure, thinking it was innocent. THey hid my stepdaughters underwear and put the pullups in her underwear drawer, but gave her real underwear back later. I thought it was a pretty pointless prank, because I didn't realize what it was about..

They were making fun of her because she wet the bed at the other girls party a month or so back, but I didn't know that had happened because nobody told me. I didn't know they were making fun of her.

My husband's ex called tonight- she just found out too- and is upset with me..

What should I say/do? I feel terrible!

My husband offered to try to smooth it all over for me, but I feel like because I was in charge of the kids that night (he worked late) and because I gave the girls the pull ups to use, that I should be the one to make up for it..

My husband and his ex normally get along very well and I try to stay out of the way of their parenting as much as I can.

I plan on calling the other girls' mothers tomorrow. I'm too angry tonight, I'm afraid I'll say something that will only make matters worse.

It's nobody's "fault" my step daughter peed the bed! She's a child and it was a slumber party- I'm sure they'd all been drinking sodas and stuff until late into the night and sometimes kids pee themselves. It happens to grown ups sometimes, too...

Answer 1

OMG, those are her friends? that's horrible! explain to your husband's ex that you had no idea that they were planning to do something so cruel, and that if you knew you never would have allowed it, I'm soo sorry she had to go through that, poor kid :(

Answer 2

It's not your fault. You didn't know this happened. I would make a point to your husband and his ex that you didn't know and that you should all focus on the child. It could be she was in an unfamilar place and too scared to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Girls tend to stay up late and have drinks late at night with slumber parties.

And the other parents need to be informed of this prank so they can explain to their children that what they did was not right and they owe her an apology.

Answer 3

Do your husband and his EX fight a lot about the kids? If so this is probably the reason for the bedwetting, and THEY need to deal with it. It is not your fault. If his EX knew about the bedwetting SHE should have informed YOU in the first place. I would just call the parents of the other girls and tell them what is going on and they need to talk to their kids about not teasing someone that has an accident.

Answer 4

My advice would be to leave the exwife out of it she has called and expressed her feelings she is ok now she spoke her mind. Let it be. But as far as your step daughter set up a time to take a ride or go to lunch with her alone so you can talk and explain to her what happened and how terrible you feel. She is obviously embarassed and probably needs to talk about it let her know you are there for her.

Answer 5

it relatively is conceivable the only it relatively is sixteen is gay or transgender. maximum possibly transgender if she's pretending to be a guy on facebook. Now i'm hoping that would not difficulty you, what you're able to do is communicate together with her and allow her know that it relatively is okay and that the the two one in each and every of you like her no rely who she is. or possibly she's gay and extra afraid to confess to being gay than being a guy. do exactly no longer punish her for it. As for the 14 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old, she sounds like a common 14 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old. i'm to undecided the thank you to handle that, because of the fact the extra self-discipline there is the extra possibly she is to act out. i think of there must be a balanced quantity of self-discipline relatively. and you're able to communicate on your husband approximately equivalent punishment, it is not honest to punish one extra desirable than the different. and that i'm particular you know that,yet he could know that too. If there is no longer equivalent quantity of punishment and love, then it is going to reason quite a number of problems.

Answer 6

The ex is upset with you because she can start trouble with you and is hoping to start a conflict with you and your husband. I learned a long time ago that the step mom or dad should never get involved. You should let your husband smooth it out the way he wants to because this is really between him, her, and their child. The more you try to handle it the worse it could get. I know you feel bad but you should stay out of it.

Answer 7

U should apologize 2 ur stepdaughter. She'll need all the support from u guys now (parents) 2 bring her self steam back up.....
Whatever u do, don't EVER mention this 2 her mother if u don't want a World War III 2 happen.

Answer 8

While it is not your daughter's fault that she wet the bed, it WAS her responsiblity to tell the hostess about the accident and to apologize. If she knows she has this type of reactions to drinking soda then she shouldn't be drinking it. Yes that is hard when one is at a party but it is either going without the soda or being teased...

Answer 9

The child's mom should be angry with those girls. It's not as if you told them to do it. All you can do is apologize and tell them how bad you feel. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to call one of the other kid's parents (the one who asked for the pull-ups).

Answer 10

Just tell your husband's ex that you were sorry and that you have no clue what had happen to your stepdaughter. Be honest. I don't think that it's entirely your fault.