my dad got a random 17 yr old girl at a party pregnant when he was 15, and stayed with her. when i 1 month she split and my dads looked after me ever since. he has mates over all the time but wont date. it makes me feel guilty as if i ruined his life. he tells me that "i am the only girl he needs" but i dont really understand it. he wont go out to clubs, where he could meet heaps of chicks, and he is a good looking, nice bloke. i think he is worried about the change, because his parents kicked him out when he get the girl pregnant and it has only ever been the two of us, and friends, never girlfriends. i want him to date but he just wont. what can i do? we are very close but him having a girlfriend would make him happyer. he thinks that any one his age would run away screaming when he says he has a 15 yr old daughter. what do you think?
he hasnt dated since he was 15.
2007-10-19 16:41:15 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok just to clear a few things up for the confused people below.
when my dad was 15-he got a girl pregnant, that was almost 15 years ago now. he is not sleeping with anyone, let alone anyone my age.
longhairlvr- how is my dad a cheat? he hasnt cheated on any one, he isnt even dating anyone?
2007-10-19 16:52:59 · update #1
Micheal R - did you actually read my question? or just the heading? my mum left when i was 1 month old, she never contacted him again and he has no idea where she is, so we dont get money from her. And omg he is my father if there was something sexual going on would i be trying to get him to date? thats disgusting.
He has tryed to find my mother so many times, but shes vanished, her parents dont even no where she is.
2007-10-19 17:17:48 · update #2
Well, most 15 year olds are out having fun. Your father was becoming just that....your father. Don't blame yourself for him not dating, maybe he just is afraid of change, or doesn't want to.
Sometimes us parents just don't want to date. We are happy with our lives, the way it is with our kids. And bars aren't for everyone.
A suggestion - ask him to take you to the park for a game of frisbee or flying kites or something. Maybe a woman there will catch his eye. But you can't push him to date, it won't work.
2007-10-19 16:46:34 · answer #1 · answered by Having fun in Cali! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are very sweet to think about your dad and worry about his feelings. But try to remember that your dad has the right to make his own decisions about dating or not. You're probably right that he's afraid of entering a new relationship with a 15 year-old daughter at home (and all of the questions that entails when he's not yet 30).
Being a single dad is quite a challenge, and it sounds like you think he is doing a good job. If he has good friends and they come over quite a bit, it doesn't sound like he's hurting for company. Try to let your dad make the decisions about his own romantic life but let him know that you love him and you know someone his age or his generation would love to know him the way you do, too. Explain you can't or won't be hurt by him finding love or happiness with another adult in his life, because you know he loves you and he chose to stay with you.
His experience is very different from a lot of parents and adults his age. It can be intimidating to open up. Perhaps he'll find the courage to join a single parent's group or other activity where he'll feel safe enough to open up.
2007-10-19 23:55:15 · answer #2 · answered by CarinaPapa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe your dad is happier without a girlfriend right now-it is his decision. But I think its awesome how you are concerned about his happiness-its really mature. And this sounds harsh, but maybe it is true that once the girls he "hangs with" find out about you they run. Thats just one more person that shouldnt be in his life anyway. Im sure he would never want you to blame yourself for lack of a gf. And your dad gets points for being a real dad- I admire a single dad who is so young and repects his child enough to focus on her needs b4 his. Maybe he just doesnt want a relationship right now...and when the time is right-it will just happen. (and usually at the most unexpected moment)
2007-10-19 23:53:00 · answer #3 · answered by Alex 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he doesn't want to complicate his relationship with you with all the stuff that would come along if he started dating someone seriously...Eventually she'd start either trying to be your mother or competing for your dad's attention. Try to just be happy that your dad cares so much about you and his time with you. Don't focus so much on him dating. I know you want him to be happy, but he knows what's best for you guys' situation...Admire the fact that he doesn't want to have women coming in and out of your life if things don't work out or something...even though you're not a little tiny girl anymore...Try not to worry about his love life and enjoy him before your life gets too busy and full of responsibilities...when you won't have as much time as you do now to kick it with your cool-assed dad...Some people would give anything to have a father like that. Enjoy him for as long as you can, while it's just you and him. (Plus after what happened when he was younger, he may be terrified of some chic he was dating getting pregnant and having a 16 year difference and interference with yours and his relationship). Good Luck!
2007-10-19 23:52:01 · answer #4 · answered by Mama Nuveau 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The truths is he feel your his biggest responsibility he has right now. I think you young lady should be with your mother,not living with daddy, it not right, unless your mom is unfit to take care of you. Everyone would think you two got something going,like sexually,or out for moneys that mommy must pays child supports. I see dad love you, but it not fair for a man to be with a daughter, a son yes !, but a daughter is very risky, peoples talks.
2007-10-19 23:58:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad may not want to date while raising you because he is a good father. Knowing the mistake he made by getting a girl pregnant who was obviously not ready to be a mother, he may be afraid if he dates, you will want to date and make a similar bad choice. He may think he is protecting you. Then again, he may not think he can handle dating and being a responsible parent to you. It is obvious he loves you more...
2007-10-19 23:45:42 · answer #6 · answered by deltaforcechick 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. From what i know, clubs would have to be the WORST possible place to meet someone, relationshipwise.
2. He may just feel ashamed of himself, try to encourage him, without coming out weird about it, bring it up after he takes a shower or something and smells good and all.
3. Don't, DO NOT, try to hook him up with someone, that would be bad, I have had friends try and fail miserably and then have a bit of a weird relationship.
Hope this helps =D
2007-10-19 23:47:17 · answer #7 · answered by Death_From_the_ Darkness 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your dad sounds happy how he is, not matter what you do won't get him to date !
It will happen when the time is right for him. He's 29 - still young and as you say 'good looking' - he may want to wait until your older so he can go out and do his own thing.
Its not your fault, dont' feel guilty as he is happy how he is now.
It will happen when HE is ready - not when you are.
2007-10-19 23:48:12 · answer #8 · answered by Miss L 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all your dad is a bad person. He doesn't deserve the best in life because he's a cheat. I dont care is what im trying to say
2007-10-19 23:45:51 · answer #9 · answered by Hammster 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he,s waiting for the right person to come to him..It,s like this ,if your searching you seem to always get the wrong one...If you stumble across the right one that might be the one!!!I was 40 years old before i married!!!I wasn,t looking when I met my lovely wife!!!!You have to be patient this is a serious thing!!!
2007-10-19 23:47:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋