I'm getting married an my fiancee wants to plan the whole wedding?

Question

And when I pick what I want in the wedding (photographer) she over rides it and than says "it's the girls job to plan the wedding" Is this true?

Answer 1

She's just a bit wrapped up in the wedding brain right now - it will hopefully calm soon. Women are conditioned from childhood to do this - it's just a cultural thing. Start planning the honeymoon - and tell her "it's the guy's job to plan it" - maybe then she realize she's been a bit silly, and you two vcan start to compromise on some stuff. There is plenty you should be doing together, and she needs your imput on the gift registry, the guest list, the rehersal dinner, tuxedos, wedding vows and more. She'll realize soon that's she's in over her head. Try not to say "I told ya so!"

Answer 2

Well I say to a certain extent planning a wedding is the new wife's job. But for such things as a photographer or whatever small details, then you should be helping too. I mean she really should be lucky that you want to help. Some guys won't even touch a single flower or make any suggestions at all. As for your fiancee, I think she is the typical chick that was promised to have a prince sweep her off her feet and she would plan her wedding exactly the way she wanted it. And now she is taking over and running the show. I think you should talk to her about this before she overrides your whole life. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Well, no it's not true. There is no such thing as jobs for men and jobs for women at all, but she may be going on what she's seen believing that men are not supposed to be interested in wedding stuff and that she has a woman has to handle that task. Poor thing. Now, you can either let her do this and just go along with whatever she wants. This will keep the peace and keep her thinking "Men do this while women do that" which will probably translate over to housework when you're married. You won't have to cook or clean up very often because she believes the stereotypes...

If you do want a say in your wedding and want to truly respect the woman you are with, talk to her tell her that men and women are so similar that there is no such thing as mens jobs and womens jobs and that she needs to let you have a say in the planning. It's your wedding too after all! Of course, be prepared for a fight, I smell a bridezilla.

Answer 4

hey...have you sat down and talked to her about how you feel? It could be that, more than being the "girls job", your fiancee is just trying to fulfill every girls dream wedding. I don't know how much guys think about their wedding growing up, but if your fiancee is anything like any of the girls I know, they can sit there for hours talking about and dreaming up the perfect wedding....and a lot of times forget that a marriage is more than one day, it's a lifetime, and that you may have feelings about it too. So maybe she doesn't want to let go of certain things just because that's the way she's always pictured it to be. I don't know...but just sit down with her and tell her how you feel and ask her how she feels...cuz you are the only two people that can truly work it out together. Good luck!!

Answer 5

Mmmm...I hate to use the term, but she sounds like a slight Bridezilla. Yes, the woman usually does most of the planning, but that's usually because the man doesn't really care! If you are actually expressing some interest in the wedding and have opinions on stuff, she should seriously listen because, hello!, this wedding is about the both of you and not just all her - it should be a reflection of the two of you.

Maybe the two of you can come to a compromise? Let her know that you really want to be involved in YOUR wedding... and that most brides would be estatic to have a fiance who had some opinions! Good luck!

Answer 6

Is there some hidden agenda here? Something you're not telling us? Like, is this photographer a buddy of yours? Or maybe someone willing to take the job for a reduced priced, but who has not established a reputation as a wedding photographer? If this is the case, wouldn't you rather hear "Oh honey, this is a girls' job" than "Good gravy, he's a REAL ESTATE photographer! He's not doing our wedding photos, you moron!"

But if she is over-riding you on things like "I don't like pink cake, I just want ordinary white, yellow, or chocolate cake" and "I don't like The Eagles, and don't want to dance our first dance to their music" then that is a different situation. You should insist on having veto power. Of course, it's not fair to veto every photographer on the grounds that he isn't that buddy of yours I mentioned earlier, but you should be able to "nix" anything she chooses that you absolutely hate or that is contrary to your family's idea of propriety. Again, it's not fair to do something like "Well I think we should have jello for desert and I veto everything else."

I wouldn't dismiss this conflict as trivial. If either (or both!) of you is treating this as a power struggle instead of building consensus thru teamwork, then you are headed for a married life full of drama and contention.

Answer 7

It should be your wedding TOGETHER. Both of you are getting married, not just her. True, most of the time guys don't want to have anything to do with the planning, but I think the Bride to be needs to get input from her finace and if he wants to help plan, then let him. Like I said, its your wedding day too, If you want something, then tell her, listen to her reason as to why she wants it a certain way, and then explain why you want it a certain way. Try to compromise.

Answer 8

Your fiancee should be thankful that you´re intersted in planning the wedding WITH her.While planning our wedding I would have appreciated more help from my husband. He was more of that kind of guy that says "Just tell me when and where the wedding will take place.I´ll be there!" all what he said during the planning was "Honey,I agree with this and that" "Whatever you want it´s OK with me" "It all will look just beautiful and great".
It´s not a girls job to plan a wedding.You have a right to your input.It´s your wedding too!

Answer 9

no, but she probably expected you to be a stereotypical groom and not be interested in these details. however, if she is unwilling to involve you AFTER you have expressed your desire to be involved, you should be concerned. if she is unwilling to take your feelings into acct planning an event, will she really take your opinion and feelings into acct during the marriage? if she is unwilling to relinquish control or make concessions or compromise over what is essentially a ceremony followed with a party, you might want to take a step back and figure out if she is going to make a good wife.

don't ignore things like this. they will resurface in the marriage. sit down and tell her, "i want to be involved in this wedding. i know you might not have been expecting that, but i do. so, i want us to agree on where and when to get married. i want to help pic the photog, colors, etc." if she is unwilling to cooperate or throws a fit...get out now. tell her, "i don't know if i can marry someone who doesn't respect or value my opinion." you should say that and mean it. don't just say it to threaten or manipulate her. don't say it if you're not truly willing to walk away. otherwise, she'll realize that your words are empty and that she can continue to run the show.

Answer 10

The woman usually does the planning, but in most cases it's because men don't really care about what kind of flowers she's carrying, or what the napkins look like, etc. If you actually want to help her plan it, and she's not listening to you, you guys need to have a talk, or it's only going to get worse. She sounds like the beginning stages of a bridezilla.