It bothers me that he masturbates and watches porn a lot, especially when i'm not there.. He cannot ejaculate during sex without watching porn, and it hurts me, making me feel as if i did not turn him on, and bothers me because he's watching other women while we have sex - we've had terrible fights about it, is there anything i can do to change his habits?
2007-10-19 15:58:41 · 11 answers · asked by hmmm... 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no, time to look for a new boyfriend. you deserve better.
2007-10-19 16:02:55 · answer #1 · answered by Mary S 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Porn can be addictive, just like anything else. So it sounds like he's addicted. That's a problem in and of itself.
Some porn can spice up a relationship. But like most things, too much is not a good thing. What he does on his own is really his own, but when it includes you *all the time* is a problem. I can certainly understand how you feel neglected and even betrayed by this. Sure, he's not physically cheating on you, but mentally he is.
So it seems to me he's addicted. So it's up to you. Like a lot of addictions, in order to cure them there are two choices:
1. The person admits they have an addiction, and they want treatment.
2. Intervention by friends and family
Since you've fought about it, #1 seems like a low possibility. And I certainly understand why #2 might be hard to do - what are you going to do, talk to his friends and mom about how he wants to watch porn while having sex with you? Yeah, right...
My advice would be to bail out, and be honest with him why you are leaving. It would then be up to him to change. Most anyone would deserve better than this, and that includes you.
2007-10-21 18:42:42 · answer #2 · answered by kako 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn is simply ok, you should be happy that your complaint isn't cheating. If he masturbates when you arent having sex, and also likes to watch porn while you all are in the act then what is the problem? The person that he is looking at is just for entertainment. Most people fantasize more about their mates and other things that they would like to explore with you but feel that you aren't open enough to share them with you outside of the bedroom.
As far as the question of changing his habits ... Sweetie, grown men don't change things that they enjoy doing. If it stops, it may stop while you are present but doesn't stop completely. You should allow you man to be free to express himself with you. Complaining and fighting only makes matters worse.
Good Luck.
2007-10-19 16:25:10 · answer #3 · answered by ladylaw_ladylaw 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He sounds like he can't come to full term without a lot of outside stimulation. SOME outside stuff is ok, but if it's required 100% of the time.......he's the one with the problem, not you. It may be time to look for someone who has better control and who is more into pleasing their partner. It'll be the only way you're going to be happy about a lover.
2007-10-19 16:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by Elaine M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not just enjoy the porn WITH him? He'll love you for it and you can get porn discreetly from http://www.hugeadultdvd.com if you want to give him a gift of porn, which any man will love, trust me.
2007-10-22 17:28:13 · answer #5 · answered by Porn DVD lover 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there is nothing wrong with watching porn or getting off to it but however when he brings it into the bedroom with you and your not comfortable with it and he doesn't respect that then there is a real problem...talking is key in a healthy sexual relationship and if you cant talk to him you need to move on to better good luck
2007-10-19 16:06:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i dont think there is anything wrong with what he does... that is what porn is for... to fantasize and watch the crazy stuff they do. they do it so well because they are professionals at what they do. at the end of the day they did the job if some one got off to watching them. Its just t.v. i know that watching it for me is just pretending im watching me and who im with. i get off to that. it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with my man or your dude feeling there is anything wrong with you. you are over reacting. now there is a fine line between watching porn and being addicted to it.
2007-10-19 16:07:17 · answer #7 · answered by neverlie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
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2016-06-23 06:27:54 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him u cant ejaculate without watchin porn either. or cheat on hiim.
2007-10-19 16:31:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
its a learned habit.will be tough to break . good luck
2007-10-19 16:03:21 · answer #10 · answered by tommy 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋