well im 16 y/o now and i have my girlfriend since im 14..we plan tohave sex soon..im not sure if were ready..my older bro said that i use a condom for protection and he also said its not 100%. my mom know just lately that i have a girlfriend when i bring her home for school work..well she did not disagree but i read in her actions that she dont like it..if we have sex and she get pregnant..can we marry?? where will i get money to feed my family when everything i needed is provided by my parents..what now??
2007-10-19 14:16:00 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You don't want to do anything you will regret. Don't have sex. It will be hard, but you will regret it later if you aren't ready. And you will regret it later if your girlfriend isn't ready either.
My advice is to wait until you have an education and you know what you want to do with life. Having kids will slow that down or stop it all together. The best way to prevent that from happening is to not have sex. It's hard to hear and some people might think I don't know what I'm talking about, but I do. I have two kids and I don't really have a chance of going back to school and getting a career until my kids are older and I don't have to worry about who's going to watch them, feed them, etc.
Remember, there is A LOT more to a relationship than sex.
2007-10-19 16:02:42 · answer #1 · answered by ∞Infinity∞ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After reading your question, marriage for you at this time is a definite no-no. You don't get married and then ask what to do about your future and what job to have. You need the job before marriage and prove to you and yours you understand the basic tenets of marriage. But you are still not ready. Your gf is only 14? In most states, having sex with a girl that young, whether consensual or not, will end up with you in jail for statutory rape. And a 14 year-old is not mature enough physically, mentally or emotionally to handle the responsibilities of marriage, sex and children. The little dears get on the nerves of mothers twice her age. Get a job, finish school and work to achieve some goals before marriage. Who knows? In 2-3 years you all might decide you can't stand each other. Better now than after marriage.
2007-10-19 20:32:03 · answer #2 · answered by nean 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
>>where will i get money to feed my family when everything i needed is provided by my parents..what now??<<
You have more wisdom than you realize. Not every 16 year-old thinks this far ahead. You already realize that you are not yet financially self-supporting and do not have the means to support yourself, your girlfriend, nor any future kids you might have. This is just ONE of the many reasons you're not yet ready to have sex nor get married.
Also, at 16, your brain is not fully developed, no matter how smart you are for your age. People your age are not emotionally ready to be married.
It's okay to have a girlfriend, but don't have intercourse, don't get married, and concentrate on your studies so you can have a career and be self-supporting in the future.
2007-10-19 16:09:17 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are 14 and plan on having sex with your girlfriend and with the risk that she gets pregnant.
That is a lot of responsibility - a lot of responsibility for someone who HAS to ask the questions > can we marry?? where will i get money to feed my family when everything i needed is provided by my parents..what now?? <
It is a bit like building a house where before anything else, you try to put up a roof.
I think it wopuld do you well to talk to some older people who have responsabilities and who you trust BEFORE you do something that you (both) wish you'd not done.
Any fool can start a baby, but it takes more than a fool to house and feed and provide for a family.
Take care of her, if you love her, then do things in the correct order and save yourselves a lot of heart ache and troubles.
Sash.
2007-10-19 14:25:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You're asking all the right questions! It really is probably best to wait. However, if you truly feel you can't.... use a good latex condom, and read the directions so you put it on and use it properly. To improve its efficacy (make it more effective, less likely GF will get pregnant), your GF should buy some contraceptive foam or jelly with an applicator. She should put it in herself before you guys have sex. Then you will have two kinds of protection against pregnancy.
But you're right, no sex is risk free, and young folks like yourselves are VERY fertile usually. So if the very thought of a birth control accident causes you to lose... the ability... well, then it's probably for the best!
2007-10-19 15:22:15 · answer #5 · answered by Singinganddancing 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look, your older brother is right. If you have sex, use a condom. If used properly, it GREATLY reduces the risk of pregnancy and STDs. It might seem like a good idea to marry your girlfriend of 2 years at age 16, but trust me, you are too young and life is more complicated.
If I were you, I would hold off, but I know sex is a great desire. If you do have sex, make sure you ALWAYS use a condom. You will be thankful later and so will your girlfriend no matter what happens. There is nothing to lose.
2007-10-19 14:23:24 · answer #6 · answered by KuroNekko 2 · 7⤊ 0⤋
New Hampshire: a woman between the age of 13 and 17 years and a male between the age of 14 and 17 years may well be married purely with the permission of their parent (mom or father) and a waiver. a woman decrease than the age of 13 and a male decrease than the age of 14 are no longer allowed to marry decrease than any circumstances. If the two events are nonresidents of NH and are decrease than the age of 18 they are able to't be married in NH decrease than any circumstances. you like parental permission and a waiver.
2016-10-13 05:54:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did it ever cross your mind to not have sex? You dont sound mature enough to even wash my car much less have a stable marriage, and for gods sake, do not get her pregnant! You sound as if you want her to get pregnant. Lifes not about marrying a girl at 16 and becoming a father at 17, enjoy your youth while you can, and appriciate the fact that your parents pay for you to live, if you got married what are you gonna do work at a gas station? Thats no life to give to a child and your wife, so I recomend that you let this girl go, and focus on your education, you will amount to nothing without a degree and a education, I know this isnt what you want to hear, but Im not gonna lie to you, this is reality! So dont go knocking up some girl who will tie ya down, then when she gets bored of you, bam, she,ll dump ya like yesterdays trash! Oh but she,ll make darn sure that you pay her child support. So rethink your pipe dreams, as they are foolish, even for a 16 year old.
2007-10-19 14:29:48 · answer #8 · answered by penelope 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I married my high School sweet heart when I was 24. We are a happy couple. If we had married when we were 16 we would not be. Even though I have know him all this time we are not the same people we were when we met. Having sex now will put so much strain on your relationship think before you act.
2007-10-19 14:27:08 · answer #9 · answered by kikers 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You aren't ready for sex yet, and most states that allow people to get married at 16 require parental consent. Have you considered waiting for the sex, until you are more mature??
You sound like you know the consequences of having sexual relations and what can happen. That said, wait.
It costs a lot of money to raise children, and your parents and her parents certainly don't want to raise yours.
Be safe.
2007-10-19 14:27:00 · answer #10 · answered by Debra S 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋