very poor ettiquette. Her friends giving the shower could have called those other guests who they know well enough to asked IF who would want to contribute....and those they didn't know wouldn't have to have been asked....those who like to bring food could, and those who like to ask "what can I bring" could be appreciated!
The way they have done it is called Tacky.
Personally, unless she was a very close friend, I would find somewhere else I had to be that day, like the dentist!! and skip the corny games you may be stuck playing over the food you have to cook.
And if you don't attend the shower, you are not obligated to send a gift either, per good ettiquette!
2007-10-19 13:23:31
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answer #1
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answered by wawawebis 6
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I have two thoughts on this issue:
First, it sounds like the bride and groom do not have a lot of money, and therefore they are suggesting a Pot Luck. There is nothing wrong with this, as there is always way too much food to go around. The invitation also suggests that it will be a small affair, and the bride wants everyone to enjoy what they will be eating.
Second, the wording on the invitation could have avoided a lot of issues with people being "put off" by the request if the RSVP was to the person that was having the shower.
Most people generally ask if they could bring something to such an event or even offer to help, so it was unnecessary to state that it is the bride's request.
2007-10-19 14:42:44
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answer #2
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answered by Queen B 1
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This isn't "official etiquette," just my 2 cents:
I love potlucks. I've been to a gazillion of them. However, I don't think it's a good idea to have a pot luck bridal shower, for several reasons:
* I think potlucks are more appropriate for more casual, impromptu parties than a (hopefully once in a lifetime) lifecycle event. Even though the dress may be casual, the event is not, if that makes sense. In other words, it's an important enough event to warrant serving the food to the guests, as opposed to the guests bringing the food.
* This is a gift-giving occasion, hosted in someone's honor. Let's just give the guests the responsibility of bringing just one thing: the gift.
* Usually the bridal party hosts the shower. IMO, this is one event where it looks cheap to call for a potluck.
I recommend saving potlucks for Superbowl parties, annual holiday parties, etc. But IMO, bridal showers are best done the old fashioned way of hosts providing the food for the guests.
2007-10-19 14:08:14
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answer #3
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answered by Ms. X 6
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I don't like the wording of that invite at ALL!...
It should state that the shower is a Pot Luck and then suggest they call the Hostess of the shower for what they will be bringing, so she can make a list and make sure that 10 people won't bring potato salad.
It should NOT state "At Bride's Request"... for SHE is not the one planning the shower.
2007-10-21 03:32:04
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answer #4
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answered by Terri 7
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Good God! Now I've heard of everything! The whole point of a shower is to bring gifts. You cannot also ask the guests to bring the food. Tacky, tacky, tacky. If the people giving the shower can't afford it, then they should ask the bride's family and friends to help out by making dishes, or by serving just punch and cake. I'm dumbfounded at the thought of asking the guests to bring food to a shower, and I'm shocked at how many of you think that's okay..
2007-10-19 14:18:49
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answer #5
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answered by Trivial One 7
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I think weddings and wedding showers 's costs have gone thru the roof! People just spend too too too much money! I love the idea of a 'pot luck' shower and I think the wedding should be the same. My boyfriend's daughter is getting married next month and our family (my boyfriend's brother and sisters) are each bring a 'covered' dish'. Along with the food we're presenting, I think it's going to be a great celebration!
2007-10-19 16:46:12
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answer #6
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answered by Joan K 2
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Guests should not have to bring food to a shower. That's awful. The host should serve what she can afford to serve, even if it's very simple, like just iced tea and cookies. There is no shame in serving something simple. There's lots of shame in expecting the guests to do YOUR hosting job.
Even worse than requesting that they bring food-- the bride is NEVER supposed to throw her own shower! Why is she issuing the invitations?! It needs to be a non-relative (friend) who volunteers to host it. If no one volunteers, then she doesn't get a shower. It's not necessary.
2007-10-19 17:31:37
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answer #7
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answered by Etiquette Gal 5
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It is not proper. If one cant afford to host a shower ( and the bride should not) dont have one. Its not the bride who should request a pot luck since she is not the hostess. AND there is no rule that says anyone HAS to attend. Some people think they really have to go to a million showers!
2007-10-19 15:26:08
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answer #8
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answered by barthebear 7
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Very nervy and tacky. Close relatives of the bride should volunteer to make some food, but to ask other guests to bring food, the height of tackiness and rudeness. They are guests and should be treated as guests. Also they are bring a gift for the bride and they expect them to bring food also? Gosh that is so rude. The bride should have her head examined.
2007-10-20 08:46:00
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answer #9
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answered by cardgirl2 6
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I have 3 words: tacky, tacky, tacky!
The thing people don't seem to understand is that you plan the shower around your budget. If the people giving it are on a very limited budget, then they should have it at a snack time of day, not a meal time of day. Then, they should buy several bags of cookies, make some iced tea and be done with it.
But you don't ask guests to provide your food! Gimme a break!
2007-10-19 16:56:58
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answer #10
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answered by valschmal 4
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