Fighting with my fiance over child care?

Question

We live with my fiance's mom with our new born son. We are trying to catch up on bills before we get our own place. I dont work right now because I am breast feeding for 6 months then I will go back. When I go back the agreement is that his mom will watch our son along with his sisters son. He is a little over a year old. The thing is that she doesnt actually watch him. He is always getting hurt and today we had to take him to the ER because he fell down our whole flight of stairs. Luckly he isnt hurt too bad. We will have our son in his bouncie seat and when she isnt paying attention our nephew will come up and try and hit him in the head or pull his legs. She is much more concerned with cleaning the house then watching the boy. I am literally terrified to leave our baby with her especially since she cant even pay attention to the one she is already watching. The thing is, since my fiance has heard horror stories about day care he doesnt want our son going there.

We also dont really have it in our budget to afford day care but I really dont want our son to be alone with his mom and his cousin. We dont have any other family or friends around that can baby sit either. What can we do? I appreciate his mom and she has good intentions but she just doesnt pay attentiona and I would hate myself if something happend to my child in her care.

Answer 1

How you dare blaming your mother in law For god sake what are you doing during the day / Anwering que stion onthis site and watching T V You are darn lucky that I am not your mother in law because you would been thrown out since the day the baby was born Its not enough that your lazy your not taking any responsabilites toward your son I just hate people like you

Answer 2

Well, hon, you're still six months away from having to leave the baby. So, see what you can do about getting the bills under control, and look into affordable housing for you and he and the baby.

Look into what raises or promotions your man can expect at work, or go to Your State Department of Labor and just browse the job openings in case there's something better. Have his resume done and ready to e-mail. Yours too.

It sounds like you may want to look into something part time where he's got the baby in the evenings. It's tough, but he can do it, and you just try to keep it at 4 hour shifts.

Do a budget. See what you need for an hourly wage.

If you really do decide to use daycare then I strongly recommend you contact your local Child Care Council and ask for names of established providers with good reputations. Then go and visit them. Take daddy with you. Let him see the environment and meet the caregivers.

I did daycare for 5 years when my kids were small, and in the 5 years I haven't been doing it, I still get calls from my daycare mommies. We were a team. We all worked together. and I loved the babies.

There is someone you can trust out there, but you have to look.

Or, you can consider getting certified and doing daycare in your home. Depends on what you like.

Grandma doesn't have to be the Only option. Think outside the box, dear.

I wish you luck,
and God bless you and yours.

Answer 3

ALERT!!!
You might want to think & act on this...... the hospital can refer a case when the child comes into the ER with injuries to the child protective services; especially if 'neglect' is a suspicion. Either you must have a 'serious' talk with your child's caretaker or seek a new caretaker. If you don't want to face having to fight for your child, I suggest you take this into consideration. There is already a record!!!

CPS social workers investigate appropriate referrals to assess the safety and protection needs of children and, when necessary, intervenes by providing services designed to increase safety and protect children from further harm.

Extent of the knowledge triggering the duty to report varies. Some statutes call for reporting upon a mere "reasonable cause to believe" or a "reasonable suspicion." Other statutes require the reporter to "know or suspect," which is a higher degree of knowledge.

Failure to report suspected child abuse can result in criminal liability, although the liability is typically a misdemeanor punishable by a fine.

Failure to report can result in civil liability.

Answer 4

The only thing that you can do is talk to the Mom with your fiancee . Explain your concerns. Be honest. You can also google horror stories about kids being left with family members. There is a little boy that was left with his aunt. She ended up shaking him. A perfectly normal little boy is now on life support with no hope of recovery.

Answer 5

you are not working, so you are there all the time with your son, right? there's no reason for his mom to watch your son. too many trips to the ER will raise flags, then child protective services will be called, then how will explain that one. they wont feel sympathy for you. they dont care about your struggles and situations, all they care about is the child's well-being.

Answer 6

In spite of your money issues, I would NOT leave my baby with someone who would neglect him. Maybe you can get opposite hours from your fiance and you can handle working without requiring your future mother in law's help. If you worked nights and he worked days - that could cover it!

I think it would be considered child neglect if you left your son with this woman knowing that she does not watch out for his welfare!

Answer 7

You've been observing this woman caring for her other grandchild for a year now, and yet you wait till after your child is born to decide she's not appropriate for child care.

Think about your statement and your responsibility, and how you and your husband have not planned this one well.

Answer 8

I don't care what anyone says, I'd get my son and myself out of there. And I'd tell the fiance he is now my ex if he cannot see things my way.