It's a really long story...but i'm basicly involved with a 20 year old guy and i turn 16 in two months. Well he's not exactly my boyfriend..at least i don't think so...well i only hung out with him twice and we were not alone. He kissed me on the lips and i pulled away. Then he put his hands around my waist and touched me and stuff (not in private areas) and when he drove me and my friend home, he got out of the car with me and kissed me again. I havent seeen him since, but we still talk like every day through the phone/texting. but he is always saying how much he misses me and crap and we made plans to hang out today. (alone) but now i'm having second thoughts...and i am actually kind of..well..scared. What if he rapes me or somthinng? I am still a virgin and i am not ready to lose it right now...Do you guys think i should just go with him?? if not, then please tell me what i should tell him. he already called me and i ddin't pick up the phone, and he text me. but i didn't answer
2007-10-19 09:53:18 · 48 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also.. i don't understand why he is interested in going out with a 15/16 year old..i mean he would have no problem getting a girl...he is reallly hot. He works 40 hours a week, and smokes cigerettes, and on occasion does weed.
2007-10-19 09:55:03 · update #1
I don't want to sound stupid telling him how i don't think it's going to work out because he is too old...but i probably should...i just don't know how...to not make it sound lame
2007-10-19 09:56:09 · update #2
Your friend will love meeting Chris Hansen on Dateline. And his new boyfriend in jail...
2007-10-19 09:55:58 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Bigglesworth 4 · 4⤊ 3⤋
Well I was involved with an older man when I was your age and that turned into a decent 3 year relationship, but as I got older and so did he, alot of changes came into play.
Honestly honey its up to you. Obviously something about him or about the whole situation bothers you otherwise I wouldn't be typing right now :-) My motto is to go on your first instinct and if the word "rape" comes to mind when you think of this guy then you shouldn't even wonder what to do. A man shouldn't make you feel that way. Be a little more assertive and think of the reason why you posted this question...
Good luck!
2007-10-19 10:03:54 · answer #2 · answered by ~*~FiJi's FiNeSt~*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you're only 15 years old so you shouldn't go hangout alone with a 20 year old drug addict. Sometimes doing weed is just as illegal as all the time doing weed. and if you are with him when he's doing weed you will be in trouble too, and he will be in even more trouble. If you know you are not ready to lose your virginity then you really didn't need to ask anyone else what to do. You know that you shouldn't be with him. If you can ask the question about why a 20 year old would want to be with a 15 year old then again you know you shouldn't be with him.
2007-10-19 09:59:39 · answer #3 · answered by tkdnsacountry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm I know you don't want to hear this. But there is something extreamly wrong with a 20 year old man(physically) wanting to date a 15 year old girl. He has had thoughts and experience that are way out of your league. Im my honest opinion you most certainly should not go. Only grief can come from this. There are multiple reasons why that grief can be there but here are only a couple. RAPE...Not as uncommon as you would like to think, and you can bet he has thought of you in a sexual way. Even if that is not his intention it is still just a bad idea. Another thing to consider, If who ever has care of you heard you were going out with a twenty year old they would be furious or at least they should be. But they probably wouldn't be if he were 16. I don't know you but I can offer you this insight. Cherish your youth and stay as innocent as you can as long as you can. And don't be pressured with the feeling I have to be cool. Trust me you do not want to go. I hope this helped you and I hope you make the correct descision :)
2007-10-19 10:03:59 · answer #4 · answered by lawrencedavidjon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SMOKERS ARE JOKERS!!! JK JK. Ok, you're right. He is too old for you, and you are too young for him. It's very very good that you recognize that. Explain to him that you are not comfortable with a bf/gf relationship because of the age difference. In one or two years, a five year difference is not that big a deal, but 15 and 20 is huge. For right now, you are better off being friends. Also, tell him that smoking and weed are going to kill his lungs, and he may develope some health problems later in life.
On a side note, not all guys are looking to get into your pants. I don't think he would rape you, it's just that the maturity levels are way off.
2007-10-19 10:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie you don't need to be thinking about some guy at this point in your life and a much older one at this point, if he likes you then he must wait 5 to 6 years your heart and mind is not ready for what can come from this why is everybody rushing to grow up its fun being a teenager do teenage thing hang out with people your own age there fun if you give them a chance ,and find friends that are more to your liking and do thing you like to do that don't change or take away from who you are, this guy may like you but he should know better then to deal with you at this tender age he want sex believe me he does and you don't need to be thinking about that stuff, you are smart listen to your parents and if not your parents your common sense because you do have sense if your questioning the situation, you in my prayers.
2007-10-19 10:10:01 · answer #6 · answered by foxy_blue00 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nicole be honest with this fella and let him know that you are not interested in him as a boyfriend and think it would be best if you two stopped seeing each other. I'm certain that your parents would disapprove of this relationship. And the fact that you are scared he might attempt to get sexual with you is a good gut instinct that you should trust. Do yourself a favour and cease contact with this fella as he has only one thing on his mind regarding you and you hit it right on the head. Best of luck and if he continues to try and contact you then you should inform your parents and/or the police. As a matter of fact it would be wise to let your folks know what happened already and how you are feeling. They may be a bit disappointed initially but will respect you and look out for your best interest anyway. Best of luck once again.
2007-10-19 10:00:25 · answer #7 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a big age difference at your current ages although it would be nothing if you are a bit older. You dont sound as if you like anything about him except for the fact that he asked you. I would speak to your parents, and then tell him they say you are not allowed to date yet. It sounds as if you are attractive physically and he is trying to take advantage of the age difference. In 10 long years you will still only be a young woman of 25 so I would hang back for a few years yet.
2007-10-19 10:02:28 · answer #8 · answered by pete the pirate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look I answered you before and you are asking the question again so I am going to give you more detail on what happened to me..I was 16 and met a 21 year old in a club (no I shouldnt have been in the club)I went back to a 'party' guess what? no party, no-one was there, I was in the country in the middle of no where, this is before cell phones, he locked his bedroom door and forced me to lose my virginity very painfully to him over and over again. Do not get involved with this man please.Its baloney anything he says and its illegal for a good reason. Stay away and NO is all you have to say..Oh yeah, I thought I could handle it 'cos I dated a 20 year old when I was 15 and nothing happened...that was just luck..the next time I met someone older ...I wasnt so lucky...stay away..
2007-10-19 10:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by Sunshine Girl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would just be completely honest with him. I know that it seems cool to go out with older men, but it isn't exactly a good idea. I would just let him know, I am sorry but I can not meet up with you, you are a great friend and all but my parents would not approve of me being a lone with you and I am an honest person and do not to be sneeking around. If you are going to go out with him, make sure it is with a group of people that you trust and you guys have to be in the public eye like the mall, or dinner, or something of that nature. But do not trust this situation, it doesn't look good dear. I know, I am young too.
2007-10-19 09:59:38 · answer #10 · answered by jmelee85 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is not appropriate for a 20 year old to be with a 15/16 year old. He's manipulating you. How can he "miss" you if you've only been together a few times? Your instincts are telling you something is wrong, and your instincts are right.
2007-10-19 10:17:50 · answer #11 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋