My son is in 1st grade. This week he had 2 yellow lights and 1 red light for things such as yelling out loud in class, not raising his hand interrupting the teacher while she's teaching with things that don't pertain to the subject, arguing with the teacher because he claims she said she was going to read " fun facts first ". He is diagnosed with ADHD not on meds.
Per our therapist we are to make everything as structured as possible so we do our best thru excersises taught to us. We have a chart with a big reward for being good & punishment system per offense.
He's been doing really good up until this last week. We made it clear when he got his first yellow light that he's to stay on green in order to have fun at the party constantly reminding him on the way to school, at dinner, notes in his snack bag & lunch. Well for whatever reason that didnt happen. Now we have to follow thru with what we said he can't partake in the party.
Why do I feel so guilty? I wish I can say ok party.
2007-10-19 09:51:50 · 16 answers · asked by ? 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Do not cave in! You are doing the right thing. When you follow through you are being consistent, which is what a kid w/ ADHD needs. Also you teach them to problem solve and to do the right thing if you stick by your guns. It is not like he was not warned. If you had not warned him then you would be in the wrong, it is bad to spring judgments on them. They need to know what is at stake and then learn to make good judgments to get to the desired out come.Just tell him there is always next year if he makes better choices.
Lisa
2007-10-19 10:09:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Before I begin I want you to know I am a parent and a Scout Leader with more than 30 years in the Scouting program. I am also the parent of 4 children with mild to severe learning disabilities. So I speak from many years of experience.
We Scouters tell parents that School comes first in all cases. No matter if the youth is A Tiger Cub or an Eagle scout, school comes before Scouting. Having said this, I can also tell you that you should not feel guilty about making school and your son's behavior a priority.
It has been shown over the years, that a youth members behavior in school has a tendency to carry over into his behavior in Scouting. This is not something we Scouters want to deal with. We have enough to handle without having to stop our meetings to deal with the behavior of one Scout.
You have done the right thing. Your son must stay on his behavioral goals for his participation in Scouting to be valuable for him. Remind him that the Cub Scout Motto is Do Your Best and when he asks why he can not go to the Halloween party tell him he didn't do his best in his school behavior and he has to pay the price.
2007-10-19 10:26:09 · answer #2 · answered by mikeae 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, the punishment does NOT fit the crime. The party has nothing to do with school or the teacher, it's a seperate occasion. Why does what happens at school have to overflow? I think what needs to happen is a talk with the teacher. For all you know she could just be annoyed with his adhd. Also, getting the red light could yield it's own punishments at school so now he is getting double punishments. You feel guilty because you know that he is only 6, will remmember this party for ever or the fact the you didn't let him go. What he did at school was NOTHING compared to what some kids do, he is a good kid! LET HIM GO< HE's 6!!
2007-10-19 10:23:15 · answer #3 · answered by Miss Metro 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Remember when your parents said this hurts you as much as it hurts me. Well know you know what they meant. One thing though, he may have just been excited about the party all week and it got him amped up. ADHD is hard, maybe next time there is something he will really look forward to, give him more of a chance to be calm during the week. Lots of excitement from others can throw him off too. Think about the week before you go on vacation how focused you are on getting things done. Sometimes it's hard to find a balance.
2007-10-19 09:59:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I will echo what others have said, "Don't cave in!". It's called tough love, but it IS love when you are teaching your son that there are consequences for bad behavior, as well as rewards for good behavior. If you give in you are sending him the message that you aren't serious when you say no. Don't feel guilty about "following through" with something that you have already "made clear".
2007-10-19 10:30:51 · answer #5 · answered by Gram 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any parent would feel guilty but if you let him go it will just let him think that it OK to keep being bad because you weren't strong enough to hold up to his punishment. You need to teach him consequence. Trust me I hate when I take things away from my children but I know it is for the best.
2007-10-19 09:59:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
We tried cub scouts regardless of the undeniable fact that it wasn't for us. The chief of the cub scouts is a mom, she is over the final in touch with it. it relatively is her life!!! plenty so it relatively is odd. i could say it relatively is 50/50 mothers and dads, yet ordinarily the dads bypass to the sleepovers yet there are some mothers, and who cares if your son likes it.
2016-10-07 05:57:49 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you feel guilty because you're a parent. Life is hard, and parenting does not make it any easier!
Stick to your guns. I know it's hard, I've been in your shoes, with my own son. It's no fun, but unfortantly, being a parent isn't always fun.
Don't feel bad, do your job. You love your child, with parenting comes huge responibities. You just have to do what's right. Good luck to you!
2007-10-19 11:00:24 · answer #8 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children operate on learned behavior. Once you don't follow through on the consequences, he'll see no reason to take notice the next time he gets a warning. If you really want him to go, then I'd say compromise. Make him do something first to earn the right, and then only allow him to go to part of the party.
But honestly, I think no party is best.
2007-10-19 10:21:40 · answer #9 · answered by Celtic-Candy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Because it stinks to be the one that upholds the rules and make sure there are consequences for bad behavior. So many parents don't do it and their kids' behavior is awful. Your son doesn't know, but you are doing him a favor. He is learning that there are consequences for behaving badly. Kudos to your for following through. Stick with it.
2007-10-19 10:00:44 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋