How do you balance multiple weddings in the family at the same time?

Question

My guy and I have been together 7 yr and have recently been talking seriously about our wedding. We have been waiting, until we were "stable". My guy is on the verge of a big promotion (salary and company car), which should come through by the end of the year, and we were going to officially declare our engagement then. We just received a call that his younger brother and his girl have become engaged and plan to marry May '09. While I am happy for them, I am very upset because I don't want to "scoop" them, but had been hoping for June '09 (if not 08) . Plus my mom had a close call with breast cancer last year and has never fully recovered, and my dad is 70yrs old and had both knees replaced and I'm not sure how much longer he would be able to actually walk me down the aisle. Can we ask them to delay their wedding, or if it would be okay for us to have ours before their's. One concern is his family which would have to fly in and I don't want to ask them to twice in one year

Answer 1

I don't really see anything wrong with making yours before theirs. You've been together for seven years, it's not you just met him yesterday and are now cutting in on their territory. I also wouldn't worry too much about the travel. I had two cousins (they were sisters) get married three months apart and the third sister following just under one year later. I would suggest doing it in 2008 and then your weddings are far enough apart so that everyone should be able to come to both.

Answer 2

I completely get where you are coming from. Do not get married within 6 months. Thats usually the recovery time. If you are asking some of the same people to travel and some of the same people to be bridesmaids, its a lot of expense to put it within a few months of each other. But 6-8 months is plenty of time.

What would upset her is if you decided to go with March 09, or June 09--which would put some of the family focus off of her on her wedding and would end up with many traveling family members picking one wedding or the other.

Go for June 08 if possible. That gives nearly an entire year and in no way looks like you are trying to scoop her. She'll have plenty of time to be a bridesmaid and dedicated to helping plan your wedding and then you'll have recovered after the honeymoon and getting settled to give your time and effort for her wedding in return. And if something doesn't work out and you have to push yours off (june is hectic on schedules), you can move in to July or August and still not be getting too close to her's. After all--she is soon to be your sister-in-law and you want to be on good terms.

Answer 3

You are sounding very selfish. How can you ask a couple to delay their wedding so you can have yours....which by the way....has taken 7 years to get to!

Seriously, have you been battling ailing parent's health issues, and financial instability for all 7 years? No. So it's not fair to make your future brother-in-law wait to get married just because you like the month of June! Plus, you're not even officially engaged yet! If you are waiting to tell people till the end of the year, then that means that the brother's future wife has made plans for a couple months already....then you're just going to throw them all off by asking them to delay! That's rude!

You can either wait another year to get married, or just realize that you can't call a wedding "year". People are allowed to live their lives while you are engaged.

Good luck.

Answer 4

I think it would better if you had your wedding in 2008. Just from the background you gave of your family and since the little brother already is planning to marry in 2009. Before you make your "official" announcement- I would talk to your fiance's little brother and his fiance first. Just let them know that you respect them and that you don't want to cause any hard feelings.

But honestly- if you get married a whole year before them- in June of 2008- then I don't see any problem what-so-ever.

Good Luck.

Answer 5

Having one at each and every church is making a fact that the different church isn't "ok". My fiance and that i are from diverse denominations, and we've had some not elementary spots alongside those lines. Is the reason that he needs one at each and every church so as that the finished church can come? you certainly purely want to have one. after all, this is particularly insulting to the marriage ceremony to apply it as quickly as you're already married. maximum pastors are open to co-officiating the marriage. As for the chinese language ceremony - what my uncle did while he married a chinese language lady (the eldest daughter yet), exchange into to have the tea ceremony on the reception. i think of there exchange right into a splash greater advantageous than purely that (how do you experience approximately changing dresses?) however the chinese language traditions have been represented on the reception.

Answer 6

Well if it were me i would either cover each individual wedding at a time or combine the planning but keep it organized. For example: 1 month you could cover going dress shopping and the next cover invitations and entertainment for the reception.

Answer 7

Do Not ask them to delay their wedding that would be unfair to them.

Ask them if they would mind if you got married first.
It will seem to the Bride like you are only getting married to "steal her thunder" though so watch out!

What about suggesting a joint wedding. It would make life easier for his side of it.

Answer 8

Just do it and get married already. You have been together for 7 years. Plan it and get it happening before 2009.

Answer 9

Although you are trying to be thoughtful... just do what works for you and don't try to plan it around everyone else's needs. My wedding was two weeks after my cousin's. There were no negative effects for anyone involved.

Answer 10

just do it already