Ok What can I do about my daughter sneaking food??

Question

My 13 yr old daughter is driving me nuts with food. I don't buy any junk food anymore in my home. I have been really cracking down on it. I give her a limit and she gives me such a hard time. Now, When I make her lunches they are not too much or not too little. I make her a good sandwich with a fruit and carrot sticks with dipping ranch. It's already made. Now today she took out a deep fried chicken sandwich and she said she ate all her lunch and she was till a little bit hungry so she went to the cafeteria and got another lunch. I was so mad!!! When she is at home she does things behind my back with the food. She doesn't ask she just gets it. I talk to her etc and she agrees but it's like she has no control. Her menstral is way off and I know it's part of her weight. I just don't know what to do. She does "some" excersise . She dances for 20 min to 30 min with The High School Musical and did learn the dance. I know because she is drenched with sweat.

My daughter is 13 and weighs 200lbs. I am not controlling. I am worried about her health.

The lunches at her school is nothing hut fatting foods and fried.

Great comment Becky!!! It's the best one yet and it makes a whole lot of sense.

Great one Chris and what a great idea to have a journal for her food. Awesome!! Now why didn't I htink of that???

Chris M....I do critisize her at all. I encourage her as much as I can do. Here she wants to keep this one dress that she refuses to give up. Since that dress that "DID" fit her and she gaines 20lbs or even more. I have to take control somewhere. I explain to her the amount is important but she over eats all the time. I ask her why not go for walks but then she has this crappy attitude and is lazy. So yes I am frustrated with this. Kids are cruel and this is not helping her health at all. She can't even run a half of a mile. Her asthma has gotten worse when she didn't have it that bad at all. Don't come down on me for loving my my kid and trying to help her. People who are NOT overweight have do clue. They think it is so easy right?? Get a grip!!! And I am a very good mother. Most parents do give a crap

Amanda: Get real!!! You have no clue what your talking about little girl.

Answer 1

You have to determine why she is eating like this, is she bored or is she legitimately hungry? The average person needs to eat about 5 small meals a day. If she is only having a sandwich, fruit and carrots at lunch (which is healthy) then by the time the afternoon rolls around, she is starving. Teenagers are always hungry because their hormones are going crazy.

I honestly don't think you can put teenager on a strict meal schedule, they need to eat when they are hungry. If you are worried about her weight, then maybe you can encourage her to be more active to help burn off the extra calories. Go for a walk with her, or have her teach you the HSM dance!! If she see you being more active, she will be more inclined to participate.

Answer 2

Have her blood sugar checked the next doctor visit. If thats not a problem sounds like she is craving fat. At this time of year alot of people gain weight beacause of the weather starting to cool. Must be a left over survival instinct from when humans used to starve over the winter.
Some things you can do is encourage her to drink stuff. Most of the time when we think we are hungry we are actually thirsty. I wouldn't recommend diet drinks but 2 percent milk is pretty harmless and stays in your stomach a long time.
Send soup along with the sandwich to school with her. Check the lables some only have 100 calories. Pick some high fiber stuff that doesn't taste like cardboard. White bread dosen't stay in you stomache but disolves into flour and water immediatly. Frosted mini wheats for breakfast and lots of milk will stay with her until lunch but a pop tart will be gone in an hour. Check on the "glycemic index: on the net. Go with the low index foods mixed with a few high.
An after school snack is important, try things like peanut butter and jelly and a glass of milk. Do the crunchy peanut butter, no sugar added preserves and a high fiber bread. I love the health nut breads they toast up great. Grilled cheese and tomato soup is good too.
oh and 13 year olds often have wonky periods because their body is so harmonally out of wack and hasn't had time to settle into a pattern. Good luck!

Answer 3

Ok. First off this is an impressionable and vulnerable teenage girl so don't subject her to Vet comments or threaten to take naked pictures of herself. That's how overweight girls become bulemic/anorexic girls. I know you love her and this is the best advice I can give (from a mother who has a son that did the same for a while).

Her body is growing and changing and she probably is hungrier more often. I would encourage her to eat healthy foods every two to three hours. That way she doesn't end up so hungry at lunch that she ends up eating TWO meals. Take her to the grocery store with you and show her how to shop for healthy snacks and how to look for yummy things she likes that are better alternatives. Ask for her input making her feel a part of the process. Don't just hand her over a bag and say eat this. She has to learn how to make proper choices on her own.

Keep her active (maybe and after school sport) and make sure you set a good example by eating balanced meals and getting a little excercise yourself. Better yet...go on nightly walks together after dinner. You'll communicate more and she won't feel like she's all alone in this.

Take her to the gynocologist and make sure she's alright from a medical standpoint. They may do some blood tests to check for diabetes, etc. The doctor may also have some info for her to read on her body changes. Make sure you educate her on the importance of maintaining a healthy body so she'll understand its about her life and not just an image. Go on line with her to websites that explain what kids go through that overeat and develop childhood diabetes. It's devastating to see what those poor kids live with.

Best thing you can do is love her and help her learn to get through this. Making her feel guilty will only force negativity on to food and that's how kids end up binge eating out by the garbage cans then throwing up because of their guilt. She just needs to understand the consequences of her actions and needs to be taught the tools to avert them.

You'll get through it....together.

Answer 4

Two things to consider. The first is that most junk food in chemically addictive (simply paraphrased, processed food has no health value for the body, so the body naturally rejects and dislikes it. To make up for this, all of it got flooded with chemical additivies that create and addiction and override the bodies natura tendancy to want to not eat food that is bad for it). So You have to awknowlede there is an actual addiction there.
If the addiction is broken and someone gets used to eating healthy food, they "crappy health food" actually tastes a lot better than the jnuk food they started off with.

The second, and more important thing, is that if your strategy to keeping her away from junk food is to forbid it, that will not work. I can cite a lot of adolesecent psycology things, but basically forbidding something makes people want it (ie. war on drugs made drug useage become a problem, beforehand it was not).
If you want your daugher to eat well, you need to make her understand why you are making her do it, and are willing to spend more money to get her better food. In my own opinion, the facts are clearly stacked enough that just about anyone will choose healthy food on their own. But really if it's not her decision, she won't follow it.

Hope that helps!

Answer 5

It sounds to me like part of the reason your daughter does this is to gain back some control over what she eats. I have a cousin and a boyfriend who used to have parents who were very controlling of the way they ate (they went the other way and would often refuse to eat) and it's affecting them both to this day. Your daughter is at an age now where she's learning about her independence. Food is already a huge issue for her, and having no choice over what she eats is probably not going to help.

Try letting her have some say over her meals. Let HER choose what she wants for dinner (you get final ok, or a choice of a few options.) and let her help you make her lunches. That way, she is able to control what she eats, and she'll probably end up fighting less with you.

Good luck. It's going to be a process, not an overnight sensation.

Answer 6

Why are you trying to force her to lose weight etc? Her menstrual cycles are not off becuase she weighs a little to much. That happens when you are anorexic not the other way around. If she is still hungry at lunch time pack 2 sandwiches instead of one or add a small bag of chips or a granola bar etc. SHe is a growing girl and needs extra nutrition right now even if she is a bit heavier than she should be. You would be wise to discuss this with her doctor with her present and ask for a referal to a dietician who can tell you how many calories she needs and help the two of you sort all of this out.

Answer 7

I'm not sure if your daughter is overweight or if you're trying to prevent her from getting overweight.. but I get the jist from what you said that she's probably overweight.

In the end, your daughter has to want to care for her body. She's a teenager.. and most teens are sneaky.. that's all there is to that.. but you need to instill a desire for her to eat healthier..

So there's a few things you can try..

Show her the documentary "Supersize Me." It's easy to watch and very interesting about people overeatting and how it affects their health.

Also you can teach her to read food lables, so she has a better idea of what she's eatting.

Have her keep a food journal of everything she eats during the day.. and then help her figure out the calories and fat she's eatten that day based on her log.

As for her sneaking food when you're not home.. she's 13.. if she's going to act like a baby and sneak food.. then I'd get a babysitter for her.. someone who is on the same page as you and who will monitor her. If you don't know someone who can do that, then send her to a friends house... someone who is also health concisious.

Show her pictures of some of the young women in magazines.. who are thin.. and ask her what she thinks.. some young girls just assume that they'll get that model body as they get older.. they don't realize that they have to work for that body.. if you can get her to realize that now, then that will help.

Keep a weight log for her and you. (You too so you can set an example for her) Basically weigh yourselves in every Saturday.. and then you can do contests.. for example...

Who ever maintains their weight best through the holiday season. And tempt her with a reward for not gaining weight during the Holiday season.. make sure her reward is something she really wants.

For the New Year, start a contest between you and her of who can lose the most weight by the end of April.
Again, offer a cool reward to tempt her into wanting to do it.


The Saturday weigh in's for you and her.. will force her to see her weight go up or go down.. if it goes up, she'll know she has to get things straight.. if it goes down she'll feel better about herself...

But using rewards right now.. will help.

As for exercise.. no one is born just loving exericise.. you have to make it mean something.. people who go out and exercise it's because they want that body.. other people may just be naturally active.. and love sports and all.. but if you're daughter is neither of these things.. then you have to give her a reason to exercise...

Try doing an early morning walk, or an evening walk with her.. a power walk for a mile a day. It won't take you long to do .. but it'll force her to power walk with you.. and you'll be able to set an example for her by doing it with her.. and it'll give you two quality time to talk as well.

If you dont' like power walking.. then there's biking, rollerblading and swimming.. just pick something you both will enjoy and that isn't too difficult for her starting out.

Finally have lunch together once a week.. just to talk and bond.. the closer you are too her, the more she'll confide in you.. and the more you learn about her, the more you can inspire her to be all that she can be.

Plus it gives you an opportunity to show her how to eat right.. or better yet..

you can make your weekly lunch out.. a SPLURGE meal.. she and you can eat whatever you want during that meal.. that way .. your daughter doesn't feel like dieting is a punishment and that meal gives her something to look forward too.

Good Luck and My best wishes !

Answer 8

First off you do not mention how much your daughter weights. But you seem way to anxious about it which can cause more damage that good. Removing all the junk food is a good thing but remember that sweets every now and again it OK.

Also, perhaps your daughter is more active than you think and requires more food. If you think she is eating too much in one meal time than you should talk to her about that. Tell her after she eats her meal and wants more she should stop and wait for 10 minutes. This will allow her body to register if it is really still hungry.

Answer 9

Ok Wow. You certain had individuals leaping all over the place you for this one huh? I do not particularly realize why. If I had $20-30 valued at of youngster meals mendacity round my residence I might wish to make use of it too! First of all, why does not she love to consume jarred meals anymore? Is it since she needs to feed herself? If so, allow her have a bowl with youngster meals. Sure she'll be orange while she's performed, however she'll be getting the entire well youngster vitamins and minerals and having amusing! Also, I might believe Gerber + youngster meals recipes in a google seek engine would arise with a few well outcome. And whilst I do believe donating to individuals who're much less lucky than us is a exquisite inspiration, I wholly recognize why you might wish to make use of what you've already paid for.

Answer 10

Listen, you sound a lot like my mother did, and I understand that your doing this cause you care about her, but you could end out hurting her in the long run. You can try to keep healthy food in the house and encourage her to be more active or to try and get into a sport but by getting 'mad' at her about something she eats, your just going to end out giving her low self esteem and pushing her away from you regarding this, which will make it even harder for her to come to you for help if she feels she needs it. By talking to her about it your just going to make her feel worse about her self because on top of disappointing herself, she will feel like she's also disappointing you. And low self esteem and a feeling of lack of control is probably contributing to her over eating. PS. Don't forget how cruel kids can be about this sort of thing, she needs your unconditional love and a feeling of acceptance, not criticism.


Also, to the other Chris who answered, you have alot of good ideas but showing a 13 year old girl pictures of equally unhealthy anorexic models in magazines is probably a really horrible idea. Sorry.


Im not saying that you dont love your daughter, im just saying that sometimes when you ARE so concerned, its easy to overlook things you may be doing that could hurt her more. And im absolutly not saying its easy, its hard enough to do it for yourself, but to have to do it for a child in a loving way is extremely challanging. You might want to think seriously about getting her into a sport. I was very overweight as a child and my mother got me (forced) on a swim team. It fixed my weight problem in less than a year and I ended out loving it and continued through college. Also, its easy to start at your own pace and gradually get better...unlike other team sports that she might be embarresed at first because shes not as fit as the other kids.