My 4 month old just started to cry uncontrollably when he is handed to my mother in law. He does not cry when he is with anyone else and I am not sure how to handle this. I dont like seeing him cry and then having to leave him crying is so hard. My husband wants his mom to watch him but I feel there is a reason why my baby cries like this and I would prefer if someone else care for him when we need a babysitter (like my mom who lives 30 mins away). Does anybody have any suggestions on what to say or how to handle the situation?
2007-10-19 08:57:08 · 16 answers · asked by Stacie L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He'll get over it. My nephew used to cry when my wife held him. But he thinks she's great now.
2007-10-19 09:00:51 · answer #1 · answered by ZCT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow - what a difficult situation because I can see your MIL getting very hurt feelings over this...and your husband as well. You have to trust your mommy instincts though. It's weird that he only cries like this with her....and there has to be a reason. For all you know, she hits him or someone in her house abuses him when you're not there. Either way, you can't take chances with his safety or emotional well-being. When you become a mother, I think you gain a strength to put your children first and people's feelings 2nd...even if it will cause strain. If I were you, I would just let the MIL see the child when YOU can be in the same room.....at least for a while so you can see what's going on. I would have my mom do the babysitting.
2007-10-19 16:42:17 · answer #2 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've got 2 boys. My oldest was the same way, still is actually. I don't suspect she abused him but I got the feeling early on he didn't like her. He cried when being left with her. The only time he wouldn't throw a fit was if my FIL was there and then he would go straight to his lap and never leave. I know you don't want to upset your husband or your mother in law but your kid comes first.
If you want an easy cop-out say that your mother wanted to start watching the baby more. Don't flat out say "hey, I'm not leaving my kid w/ you cause they cry everytime they see you."
2007-10-19 16:44:09 · answer #3 · answered by samcane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont you try having your mother in law over more often (I know that doesn't sound like fun!) Just to see what she is like with your baby. Maybe the baby just needs to spend more time with her and get used to her. See what she's doing differently from everyone else. It could be something very minor. With your child being so small I doubt it is anything serious. Maybe your baby doesn't like the perfume or scent your mother in law has...
2007-10-19 16:02:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How often has your mother-in-law watched him? Is there a perfume scent that she is wearign that he might not like, I don't know, that doesn't sound like a good thing at all if he just cries with her. I hate to say it, but I hope she's not harming him in any kind of way. I would find a different babysitter.
2007-10-19 16:02:18 · answer #5 · answered by Aneres 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's amazing how little children can sense ppl isn't it?
I would just say set aside some time for your mil to spend some time with your son when you're around.And,tell your husband that your sorry that he cries when you leave him with her but you have to do what's best for the baby and you feel better not to cause him any more distress than need be.
2007-10-19 16:03:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your mother in law is nervous holding the baby right now, and the baby senses it? This does not mean things won't change, nor does it mean she wouldn't take good care of him.
Give it time... and see what happens if she babysits.
Before i had kids, babies seemed frightful around me, and i do believe it was because i had little to no experience with them, so i was nervous.
I was fine with my own, and have been ok ever since!
take care.
2007-10-19 16:39:43 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children are very intuitive. Perhaps he picks up on the fact that it stresses YOU out when his grandma holds him. Do you have trust issues w/ her aside from the baby's crying? Do you guys have an awkward/tense relationship?
Even if it is her he's picking up on, just give him some time with both of you to warm up and relax. He'll be okay w/ Grandma. :)
2007-10-19 16:03:43 · answer #8 · answered by rorybuns 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your baby does not like her for some reason. Do not leave him with her , get someone he likes and tell your husband that she can watch him when he grows out of this stage. Stick to your gut feeling.
2007-10-19 16:04:30 · answer #9 · answered by Angel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he sense a bad vibe. Or maybe there something in the house that bothers the baby. Try bring your mother in law to you.
2007-10-19 16:00:43 · answer #10 · answered by Finally Got It 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes its the smell. Let her see the baby without touching it several times. My wife's mother was to quick grabbing them, but when she backed of, it was fine after a while.
2007-10-19 17:15:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋