What do u think of a 16 yr old going out with a 20 yr old?

Question

(Well I turn 16 in 2 months. And the guy is 20. ) Tell me your opinion on this

I'm a virgin...and not planning on losing it until i'm 18

Answer 1

Uh uh girl. No way I would do this. It is only four years but you are only 16 and this guy is 20. Personally I find it odd that a 20 year old is looking to have a serious relationship with a 16 year old, that's what I would call cree-pay.

Answer 2

If you're 15 then you're probably in your first year or two in high school. The 20 year old guy is much out of high school. In my experience I don't think it is a good idea.

The whole "I'm going to lose my virginity at 18" is nonsense. You'll most likely lose it when you're most comfortable.

If you think the 20 year old guy is not going to try and make some moves, you're out of your mind. (A 20 year old is most likely to make moves leading to sexual contact than a 16 year old guy.)

Depending on where you reside, it is illegal for a 20 year old to have any sexual contact with a 16 year old, especially a 15 year old (which is the age you are now) - even if it is consensual (by you, your parents, or both)

Also, if you do plan on dating the 20 year old guy, and it doesn't work after a few months or a year - the guys at your high school may feel intimidated to date you. You'd probably have more fun dating the guys at your school then outside of it.

Answer 3

Listen to "joker", no one can say it better.
Also, your plan to stay a virgin until 18 is already kind of shaky. Why is it suddenly OK to have casual sex just because you've turned 18?---I don't get that. Pregnancy, diseases, and stupid men are still as great of a risk no matter what age you are.
A 20 year old man has a LOT of experience on you and will talk you out of that in no time. Then, he'll leave you even faster. Even a non-sexual relationship won't work out. There are some HUGE life experience differences between you two right now. Five years does not seem like a lot but it is at your age. When he's 25 and you're 20, it won't seem so bad.

Answer 4

No matter how mature you might think you are or he might tell you you are (grooming?), there's always going to be a difference between a 15 and 20 year old. Even if it's a really smart 15 year old and a really dumb 20 year old. At 12 I was tested as reading at a college level, was enrolled in Gifted & Talented, related better with adults than kids my own age, etc...but emotionally? I was a 12 year old. (If that, lol)

I know it's not what you want to hear because no one wants to think of themselves as still being a child. I hated being a teenager because I FELT like I was an adult, but at the end of the day I was still a kid.

The older you get, the less age differences matter. (The person saying she was 21 dating a 41 year old for instance...even though I'm surprised she doesn't get why the situation is different for a 15 and a 20 year old). With those ages, you're at different life stages which would make the relationship challenging, but you're still adults. Right now, you're still a child, both in age and emotional development, and no amount of self-convincing to the contrary is going to change that. The 20 year old is an adult. A very immature adult, I'm guessing, since it's unusual and creepy for a 20 year old to be dating below his developmental level, which should be ringing alarm bells right there, but an adult nonetheless.

Trust me, I was in the exact same situation, although more so (14 year old & 24 year old). It was completely nonsexual, and only lasted about a month, but now that I look back on my 14 year old self as a 20 year old, I can see how entirely different I am.

Not sure if you're actually looking for advice or if you're just going to do whatever you want anyway, but what's going on right now is not healthy or "normal" by any means.

Answer 5

I'm just wondering what's so especial with this 20 year old that you cant find in another 15 or 16 year old? If you get in a relationship with him, you are going to have to know your limitations. Depending on the state you live in, it may be illegal to do stuff with him, and it doesn't matter if it consensual or not. If its a fling, then you guys shouldn't risk it by being together. If you really do care about him, you should wait until you're older and then go from there.

Answer 6

One of my freinds is dating a 22 year old and she's 17. They've been dating since she was 15. So I know what I'm talking about. These people are not cool. Anything they tell you is probly a lie. They only want you because you are young and don't know better. They want to control you and use you. The guy my freind is with throws a fit everytime I go so spend time with her and I'm the only freinds she has left because of him. He asks her for sex and then gets angry when she says no. Older men are a bad Idea. I say wait until after high school to get into realtionships with older guys. Your young now you need guys who are your age and then you could have experaence for the older men. I hope that made sence.

Answer 7

Outside of legal ramifications, why is not ok at 16 / 20, but it is ok 2 years later at 18 / 22?

Answer 8

you are 5 years younger (if the guy is actually 20, im betting either you are closing the age gap for this question, or he is lying to you) this is CRIMINAL and for a reason too. imagine you dating someone 5 years younger then you. those hot little 10 year old. this guy is sick. and i promise this 'relationship' will make you CRINGE when you are 20. you shouldnt be so impressed with an older guys interest in you that you will do whatever he says.

ask yourself why you need to be involved with a statutory rapist, instead of someone your own age. and id say ask this guy why he needs to date a naive girl- but you should not have any further contact with this sick young man at all. you are a child, and he is completely taking advantage of you and probably has some serious problems because he cant find a girl his own age.

you should ask yourself if you wouldnt sit down to dinner with him and your parents, (i would assume your parents would freak out/call the cops) that you probably shouldnt be with this guy.

get some help, please! think of you wanting to date a 10 year old and that is what this guy is doing with you.

Answer 9

Well, first off it's ILLEGAL. Second, there's so much of a different maturity level between the two of you that it wouldn't last long. Do your parents even know?? I think that you should find a guy that's 15 or 16 to date, that would be more in your age range and maturity level. Older guys like that are notorious for wanting to get into young girls' pants and the thing with that is even if you consent to the sex he could go away for statutory rape and endangerment of a minor. Not a good idea....I'd say to break it off with him and find someone your own age....because if you don't do that soon the law could find out and there the real trouble begins!!

Answer 10

Generally its not the best situation but since we are all individuals and I dont know the two of you its difficult to answer this one. However based on my own experience I was 5 yrs older than my first wife. She was 15 I was 20. We were together for 5 years had a daughter and in the end it wasn't the age that mattered it was our personalities. In other words if you both really match each other in temperament and outlook on life that is a lot more important than any age issues.

Answer 11

I think it could be a mistake. A 20 year old has much different life experiences than most 15 year olds. Five years is a big difference at this time of your life. It may not seem like it, but it is. I would also say the same thing if you were 20 and he was 25. There is no need to rush into a relationship just to have a boyfriend. You could live to be 100 years old so why rush things. Enjoy discovering who you are before tying yourself to someone else.