How Can I Talk More And Be Less Shy - Please Help?

Question

How Can I Talk More And Be Less Shy - Please Help?
I am SERIOUSLY shy at school. I hate it. Im too quiet. How can i be the loud one. I'm in year 7. I am 12 years old. Peoplr say im "quiet" and i wanna show them. I talk alot at home and a dance alot hehe. How can i not be shy. Tell me from stage 1 to stage 10 or 20 or 30 or 40!

Answer 1

You must have something good going for you or you would not have asked this question. Many of us never grow out of our shyness completely (I haven't), but there are things you can do to reduce anxiety in social situations.

1) Practice - you have to be willing to take risks and look less than perfect (we all are - who are we kidding?).
2) When you take a risk and assert yourself you break down barriers - people may laugh, but they are getting to know you and people respond well to risk-takers in general.
3)People who are always afraid to speak die a thousand deaths - their anxiety is far greater than those who are willing to look foolish at times.
4)Realize that people respond well to questions, comments, and compliments. As you open the door to interaction you are relieving another person's anxiety in the same situation.
5)Each time you assert yourself in social situations (and find you have survived) you gain strength, poise and knowledge.
6)Learn to smile more - that creates a better response in others.
7)Don't feel as if you have to be the life of the party - just take away some of the barriers. Others will respond favorably.

Just a few thoughts. Good luck to you - I'm sure you will have success.

Source: 25 yrs. as a counselor in mental health.

Answer 2

Definitely plan out what you want to say and have some ideas in mind.

Make small talk. Talk to one person and ask them about themself (comment on their clothes or hair or the even weather). Most people like to talk about themselves and with just a few questions from you, they will do most of the talking.

Pay attention to what they're saying and when they say something particularly interesting, ask them more about it. Just that little bit from you will make them think you're participating in the conversation and will make you look less quiet and shy.

If you like to dance, get involved in a dance-related activity; especially one where you have to interact with the public. It's much easier to overcome shyness when you have something you're comfortable talking to people about.

Sometimes it helps to keep a "talisman" handy. Keep a lucky rock in your pocket that you can hold in your hand while you're talking.

For example, I was rather shy (still am) and rarely talked to people. Then I got involved in dog rescue. I go to adoption events and talk to total strangers about dogs. They will come up and ask questions and since I know the answer, I don't mind talking to them.

Then I ask them about their dog and they're off and running. If they say they own a certain breed, I ask about that breed. I've found it's a whole lot easier to talk to someone while I'm holding a leash than it is without one.

Start slowly. Try talking to someone once a day for a week. Then build up to 2-3 people a day.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Well I had the same problem as you, until the last few years.
I was always shy in school, and around people,
You just need to start slow, bc it takes a while to get out of the "shy" stage.
Start up conversations w/ kids your age at your school. Talk about interests, make friends.
You have to communicate to more people, and at school, a good way is being involved.
In your classes, try to explain answers, perticipate in lectures, or speeches, volunteer to read outloud.
Speak your mind, and you will def. get out of your shy stage.

When you are introduced to somebody, by somebody else, instead of saying just "hi" next time go that extra mile " say "hi,.. the start up a convo w/ them"

that's how I got out of my stage, the more I started hanging around more ppl, the more unshy i got.

Hope everything works out fine for you!

Answer 4

I used to be really shy too. Here's what I used to do...
I used to plan out what I was going to say--think of questions you might ask someone, conversations you might engage someone in. Plan out the same for class--people will think you are less shy if you participate more in class.
And work as hard as you can on your self-confidence. A big part of shyness, I think, is low self-esteem.
You might lose your shyness. I did! But it's not so bad to be shy either--better to be quiet rather than loud and annoying.

Answer 5

Time to pretend! Really, try making up conversations in your room in private. Practice talking back and forth to yourself to get more comfortable with your own voice and thoughts.

Answer 6

nothing wrong with that, most people like shy people. its just a personality. once you feel compfortable. things will get better