There were times when I had my job for 10 years that when people were mean to me to my face I would be very aplogetic and constantly say sorry and I would just be nice to aviod conflict. I was very afraid to speak up to people for fear I would get treated with more hostility. There were a couple of times I firmly spoke up and it got some people to back off. Christians I have a question what does it mean to "be nice" Does the Bible ever say to be "nice"? And what are good ways to deal with hard to please, difficult. dogmatic, demaning and gossipy people without comprmising my faith or integrity? Thank you for your answers in advance and God bless you:)
2007-10-19 07:35:49 · 3 answers · asked by encourager4God 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
We are not told to "be nice" in scripture. We are told to love our neighbor. Sometimes that means overlooking an offense and forgiving. Other times that means confronting and calling people on their stuff. Setting boundaries is so important!! It's also hard!
People will respect you more when you flex your "no muscle." As Christians we are called to not be a people pleasers or codependents. Many of us have struggled with being "Nice guys" or "Nice gals" because we hate conflict and life is hard so we want to get by with less trouble. But God calls us to rise up and be the mighty men & women of God and take a stand in the midst of the darkness! If we don't there will be no light in this dark world! We live for Him now, even when others disapprove of us.
Getting around some safe friends who can build you up and impart affirmation and love into will help strengthen you to take a stand when you need to.
A couple of really good books you may wanna check out -
"Boundaries" and "Safe People" by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend
"No More Christian Nice Guy" by Paul Coughlin
2007-10-19 07:48:27 · answer #1 · answered by Lover of Blue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a good question!!
The word NICE is not in the bible actually but the fruit of Kindness and love are fruits we are to develop. Jesus was not always nice and he was perfect. We are told to have nothing to do with the evil deeds of darkness but rather expose them and that is not nice. We are to cast out someone who says they are a brother and are sexually immoral, we are to say in our hearts if someone shows up with another Gospel "let them be accursed" Certainly Jesus was down right RUDE to the Pharisee's according to the modern definition of rudeness but he was doing what God said to do "hate what is evil, cling to what is good"l I have not gotten the balance of this yet and I have done more of what you are talking about than anything in my life .....saying I'm sorry and so forth because If I'm not sure what to do I take the safe route. To me the safe route is NOT standing up for myself If I"m not sure that I should. truth is we are not necessarily to "fight for ourselves" and our own rights so much as we are to stand up for truth. The holy spirit is the spirit of truth and surely these days........telling the truth is not considered "politically correct" but it's the only way to penetrate the darkness with God's holy light.
2007-10-19 14:43:32 · answer #2 · answered by sisterzeal 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
do unto others as you would have them do unto you, turn the other cheek, pray for those that hurt you, my advice is look them in the eye and then turn and walk away without comment. don't stop walking either, just do it. they will get the message sooner or later. and pray for them. it really does help you.
2007-10-19 14:45:10 · answer #3 · answered by ribuckeye 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋