If someone has hurt you, cheated on you, lied to you or abused you in anyway......and they are genuinely sorry.........what would you say to this person and would you give them a second chance ......or would you cut them off completely....even as a freind????
2007-10-19 07:22:25 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I would not cut them off completely, although, I would not trust them anymore or spend a lot of time with them. Forgiveness has to work through the heart of the one that is hurt before any healing can truly begin.
2007-10-19 07:29:02 · answer #1 · answered by hailstorm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it really depends on the situation.. There are two sides to every story. I think that in some cases people deserve a second chance if they really are willing to change... It depends on the situation. It's easy to say "once a cheater always a cheater" etc... However, sometimes there's a reason for such behavior... Immaturity is one. It also depends on how long you and this person were together etc.. As far as abuse-that's a whole different issue entirely... I wouldn't give that person another chance it's pretty serious. I would say it just depends on the person and the surrounding situations...
I dated my now husband for about 7 yrs. and called it "quits" he wasn't abusive or anything like that he just wasn't ready for the next "step" and he was talking to some ex. from before me... So, I let him go. I dated other people and traveled and focused on myself for a change. About a yr. 1/2 later- he came back and he was genuinely sorry for the way he acted and he wanted to start a new... I gave him a second chance and now we are happily married w/ two children. He was finally ready to move on and get married.. He went and saw the x and she wasn't the "one" he just needed to know for himself. So, I think it just depends on the situation.. good luck
2007-10-19 15:00:22 · answer #2 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Given the list you gave, I would have to say no second chance. People who continually are quilty of all the above are always genuinely sorry until the next time. And they are good at reeling you back in. This isn't the type of person you would want even as a friend. It's someone you would need to step away from and stay away from.
2007-10-19 14:31:01 · answer #3 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on whether I thought they'd do it again. And that information would not come from them - of course anyone can say, "I'm sorry; I won't do it again!" If they'd done it a bunch of times, I would stay away because I don't want to get hurt. I used to give "second chances" a lot but I ended up getting hurt a lot more, so I'm more careful now.
2007-10-19 15:44:43 · answer #4 · answered by thalesgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a big mind f*ck from an ex-boyfriend. It has been 10 years since we last saw eachother and have just recently connected.
Both of us have moved past the hurt and it is nice to finally be forgiving and kind to eachother. But the only reason why is it different for us is because we both still have feelings for eachother.
There will be no getting back together, but it is nice to reconnect and have some closure to the relationship.
2007-10-19 15:40:27 · answer #5 · answered by Aundrea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheated on me--I'd kick him to the curb. "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Like my friend Peggy once said (her husband cheated on her multiple times), "The first time is always the hardest..." Anything else (aside from something illegal), I'd probably sit down with the person and have a VERY long, indepth talk, then suggest that we seek counseling for whatever the problem is. If it works, great, if whatever this problem is (compulsive lying, physical or mental abuse, etc.) continues to happen, I'd kick them to the curb.
2007-10-19 15:52:26 · answer #6 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would need more information. I am all for forgiving, but it depends on the offense if I would continue a relationship with the person. Some things just change the relationship so there's no going back, even if you can forgive the offense.
2007-10-19 14:28:46 · answer #7 · answered by GoodLuck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is it that we are to see inside another's head and determine the sincerity of their apology? I'll forgive them but actions speak louder than words.
Depending on the lie, I might offer a second chance but cheating and physical violence get no second chances.
2007-10-19 19:55:49 · answer #8 · answered by Sword Lily 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay.. honestly??
I'd forgive the person.. but I wouldn't risk putting myself back in that position where they could hurt me again.
People like that just don't magically change overnight.. and so even though they may be sorry, they're not just going to change.. and I guarantee they will probably hurt you again.
I'd forgive the person, but then I'd let them know that I think it's better if we didn't see each other anymore.. even as friends.
2007-10-19 15:55:48 · answer #9 · answered by Chris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that. I forgave every time he said he was sorry. The 3rd time he left me, we were married, and he came back, I said no more. I filled for divorce. He said he still loved me when he called me, he was living with another woman who was pregnant with his child, and wanted to come back.
Once bitten, twice shy. I have been married to my current husband for 17 years and he has NEVER cheated on me or raised a hand against me. I forgave my ex. He died 3 years ago.
2007-10-19 15:31:17 · answer #10 · answered by gigglings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋