fluffy bunny?

Question

When I was Christian... born and raised... if someone was new to Christianity, the Christian community as a whole couldn't get enough of this person... they'd give Bibles, explain inconsistencies, whatever they could to get this person to know Jesus.

As a pagan, if someone is new to paganism (I've only been on this path for two years myself) they're called "fluffy bunny" and basically told how stupid they are to the path they've decided to follow and learn about.

As pagans who are already trying to turn people's ideas around about what exactly it is that we do and do not believe in, isn't it odd that when someone comes to the pagan community to learn more, many pagans will automatically assume they're only learning it because it's a rebellious period in their life or because it's a fad?

My question is... shouldn't we embrace "newbies" rather than constantly remind them that they're ignorant of the pagan ways? Why do we, as pagans who claim tolerance, do this to others?

I'm not called a fluffy bunny anymore... I haven't been in quite awhile... it's just a question I've been curious about since I started studying my path.

I don't know how I'll pick a best answer to this question. I'll admit to all of you, just as I admitted to one of my yahoo groups that your answers give me a huge "whew" as I was truly concerned that the terminology might still apply to me.... and after reading your answers I am so happy to know without question that it NEVER did... I never cared about the spells and the "toys"... especially just starting out... I was drawn to Wicca originally because it actually made sense to me. Thank you so much to all of you for your responses.

Answer 1

Ahem.

ANYONE who is calling people who are NEW fluffy bunnies IS a fluffy bunny, sweetness.

Fluffy bunnies are willfully ignorant, nasty creatures who feed on good intentions and crap out lies. They are the 13 year old High Priestesses when all but the worst traditions require a minimum of 10 years to get to that rank. They are the people who say those who disagree with them will be cursed, or who scream "never again the burning times" when they are arrested for possession of Crystal Meth and say they were arrested on RELIGIOUS grounds. They are the people who run into the post office screaming about religious intolerance if the post office has a smiling green witch halloween decoration....

Bunnies are NOT newbies, bunnies are self-proclaimed EXPERTS with no expertise at all.

There is NO REASON to be a bunny, not even newness.

Answer 2

Christianity believes everyone should be Christian, and therefore they embrace newbies.

Many Pagan religions do NOT believe that everyone should join them--so newbies, especially ones who seem clueless or just looking for the newest fad, get treated with suspicion and sometimes hostility. There's no underlying belief that anyone who wants in is fit to practice the religion... if they don't have the strength of will, or the ethics, or the willingness to embrace the religion's concept of divinity, they don't get to join. Most Pagan religions are not "one size fits all."

There's an awareness that a person may not be able to be Wiccan, but could be a perfectly good Asatru or Druid. Or Buddhist. Or whatever. So there's no need to welcome newbies, if they're annoying or rude or foolish.

Right now, there are a lot of newcomers to Paganism who are interested because they've watched Charmed, or seen some movie that makes Wicca seem glamorous. But they won't stick with the religion; they'll play with it for six months or two years and then wander away to the next spiritual fad.

And I'm not going to waste my time trying to make them feel comfortable. Mine is not a comfortable religion; I'm not here to feel love and friendliness towards everyone. If people want that, I steer them to Unitarian churches, and get on with my circle work.

Tolerance means that I accept they have their own path to the divine, and it can be beautiful and valid and strong, whatever it is. It doesn't mean I have to let them in my house or in my sacred space.

Answer 3

I really understand what you mean. I did have some people speak to me in that way and the funny thing is that they didn't even know me. How and why should you judge someone - especially when you don't know the person in their entirety? I guess that is a question in itself for another time.

I did want to emphasize the positive side of my pagan beliefs and still do. Healing energy has just as much place as destructive energy. However, I do have a dark side which maybe because of my catholic upbringing did take me a long time to accept.

So, I guess it is probably that most people have to pigeon hole everyone they meet. I think it is something in the way the human brain works - to classify something and give it a short-cut, like a link pathway. It takes more work to keep trying to understand the person. Something which I do remind myself to do and to stop me from defaulting into the pigeon hole thought pattern.

The other thing is most of the time, pagans today I would say are not born pagans. Normally, 'newbies" were brought up as another faith. When this happens we do carry some of that belief over. I think the main thing is to keep the perspective that it is a spiritual path.

Answer 4

Brooke, a Novice (newbie) must earn trust and respect as a Witch. When a Novice comes in and starts off
spouting "knowledge" gained from reading only a couple of books, especially if those books are by one author or a REAL Fluff Bunny (Ravenwolf, for example), that person is percieved as one who knows WAY too little to be credible. A Novice earns respect and reliability by perfoming a lot of VERY hard work, asking a TON of questions and reading and reading and reading. Reading a WIDE variety of authors, reading the Coven's BOS, learning not only the hows but ALSO learning the WHY's WHEN's and WHERE's of being a Witch. WE teaqchers tend to push away newcomers because in our exoperience, most newcomers ARE there to rebel against parents and create "shoick value" for their firends and associates. They tend to want to learn about spellworkings before they even begin to learn about the REAL meat and potatoes of BEING a Witch. A newcomer that can't show respect for an Elder certainly CAN'T show respect for Goddess and God, Elementals, or any of the other relevant spirits. A newcomer that will stand in a circle and toss trash onto the ground is PLAINLY showing a lack of respect for the Earth. Sutble thngs like that are sure signs that Wicca is NOT for them and that they need to go eslewhere to find some "experience".

As for Fluff Bunnys, THEYU are the Fundys of OUR world. Just like Fundys in Christianity and Islam et al, WE too tend to marginalize them as well. No one can take a Fluff Bunny with any degree of credibility because they're always quoting someone else's work and almost never have anything of their OWN to offer. In any coven, EACH member has something to bring to the table, and what they bring MUST be of their OWN and not from soemwhere that any of the group can just go and read it for themselves. As soon as someone says that, "Silver says that we should do this..." or "ALL witches do that..." we already KNOW what sort of Witch they are. As fluff bunnys, they may KNOW the book backwards and forwards but they have NEVER even MET Goddess or God and had some REAL instruction.

ONLY Goddess/God makes Witches, not another Witch. ALL another Witch is able to do is provide a little bit of guidance, a few of the finer points of things and the REST is up to the personal relationship between the learner and Goddess/God. A person is taken with more credibilty if they say that "The Lady revealed to me that it shoul;d be done this way....", Or "I believe that we should say that because I just feel it's the RIGHT thing to say...". that holds MUCH more credibility to a seasoned Witch than a whole pile of books. Those are the kinds of things that a Fluff Bunny is not about to say to an Elder and a novice would also be unlikly to say that to an elder. But a Novice who IS sincere and TRULY dedicated MAY ask an Elder if it's OK. At which point, the teacher (assuming that it's a GOOD teacher) would say "If you believe that it's going to work for you then, by all means, DO IT!"

Brightest Blessings,
Raji the Green Witch

Answer 5

Anyone who calls a newbie a fluffy bunny just for being a newbie is a mean spirited idiot.

Fluffy bunnies are lazy, often embrace deliberate ignorance, and often come to paganism for the wrong reasons (i.e. annoyng their parents, or because they think its cool). Many fluffies ARE newbies. They show up, expect to conquer the world with mad majickal skillz in a week, and eventually wander off when they don't get what they're looking for. And _when_ people exhibit that kind of behavior, I think it is absolutely appropriate for us to call them on it. (obviously, if they're NOT doing this then we shouldn't be saying that they do!)

Sometimes in order to embrace well-meaning newbies we DO need to point out that they are ignorant. How are they supposed to learn the truth if no one tells them that the ideas they came with are wrong? Embracing and helping is not the same as coddling and babying. When a pagan says "This year I'm going to carve a pumpkin for Samhain because that's what the ancient Druids did," how are we being responsible or helpful if we pat them on the head and tell them to run along and do such? There are, of course, good and bad ways of pointing out the error of that statement, but YES, someone should be corrected when they make an ignorant statement like that in order for them to be less ignorant.

Answer 6

Often people come in with stars in their eyes, they want a magical name, a "can't fail" spell book, and all the books and toys they can pick up for their allowance. They are all enthusiasm, which is great...but a sports car with a full tank of gas and someone behind the wheel with no clue how to drive is a dangerous weapon.

Often, as soon as they get into discussion with someone more experienced and the more experienced person says "well, it' doesn't really work like that..." The newbie says "that meanie is trying to rain on my parade. I got into paganism to get out of all that "thou shall/shalt not" stuff and I don't need anyone telling me what to do!"

But the truth is, there is tradition, ritual, and order among pagan faiths. It is not a big magical free for all. Often what is being offered is genuine useful information, but the newbie may take it as "rigidity", or being "smacked down".

Doing what ever you want, what ever seems cool, fun, which ever god or goddess has the most badass rep, etc is not the essence of pagan spirituality. Spirituality, no matter what path, takes thought, intent, effort, understanding and time.

Sometimes people don't want to deal with that and decide that "old" pagans are crotchety nay sayers who just want to lord knowledge over others.

The truth is somewhere in the middle. The enthusiasm of newbies is important, but the experience and knowledge of elders is also important.

Fluffy bunnies are the peter pans of paganism, they never want to grow up and mature in faith,they are just in it for the fun.

Answer 7

A newbie isn't necessarily a "Fluffy" and they aren't Stupid. Not everyone has knowledge in everything... that hardly makes them stupid. The people I call Fluffy are the one's who have been in it for a few years but still insist on the "Charmed" version of Paganism. They refuse to read any books about the history of the people who followed the ways they are copying... instead they pick up Ravenwolf at their local new age store, read it once or twice and then spend hundreds of $$$ on crystals and pentacles and think that is what makes them Pagan. There are adults right here where I live who have been in the "Pagan scene" for the past 10 yrs and still rely on Ravenwolf to give them accurate information (Note: Ravenwolf may have some accurate information in her books.... but that's purely by accident. Most of her writing is not accurate).

I try not to assume things of other Pagans, but when I know for a fact that they've been in it for longer than just a couple of years and are still doing the Fluffy stuff to look cool, then I will call them a Fluffy. Being in a couple of years is not really long enough to know what's going on in any given Path. I wouldn't expect someone to know everything about the Gardnerian Tradition within a couple of years. And they may have a lot of information, but I doubt it's going to be enough to be able to claim they know "Everything" about Paganism as a whole.

When I am wrong about something, I expect someone to tell me. I would rather learn something that is worth keeping than to keep repeating something that is false. Now, if even after I'm told and shown where I am wrong on something yet I continue to repeat the false information... I would EXPECT to be treated like a Fluffy. You wouldn't be able to walk into a college and just claim you are a professor of history and then start teaching people false information. They wouldn't consider you anything except maybe the janitor. =)

Answer 8

Fluffy Bunny isn't a term that is reserved for those new to the Craft, although some who are new earn the term. It's basically a not-so-nice way to identify those people who seem to be involved in the Pagan community for the wrong reasons - just wanting spells, treating it like a day out at the Ren Faire and fantasy indulgence, quoting known "questionable" authors like the gospel, those that correct elders by quoting said authors, a focus on the VERY light side of spirituality without ever facing the shadowy parts of reality &/or one's self, etc.

It really has nothing to do with being "new", it has everything to do with the depth of maturity that one is approaching their studies and their interactions with the Pagan community (and to some extent also how they are representing the Pagan community to the world at large). I would say that most within the community are more than happy to help those who are new by pointing them in the direction of accurate and reliable resources. If someone is coming to the path with respect and forethought, and with a curious and open mind that is also analytical, then they will be welcomed!

If you're just there to learn to get that boy to like you and make that girl that he likes get zits, and/or you also wear fairy wings everywhere you go and think life and magick and Spirit is all glitter and rainbows and unicorns, &/or you're a fundamentalist devotee of Silver Ravenwolf, &/or you go around trying to teach non-Pagans all about the "truth" about Paganism by spouting all sorts of really really WRONG and INACCURATE information...and on top of all that you absolutely will NOT try to see things from a different, perhaps more informed perspective while you poo-poo well-intentioned critique and advice from community elders : well, you just might be a Fluffy Bunny.

Now, that's not to say that the Pagan community doesn't have it's share of those who have "been around the block" and who like to play bully by making ANYONE new feel unwelcome and stupid. Spiritual bullies (who also tend to have a coterie of naive and somewhat brainwashed cronies that help them in their nasty ego-maniacal endevours) will try that with anyone new to the area, even if that individual comes from a very well respected lineage with a decade or more of practice. So if you're just referring to some bullies that you've run into, then I apologize - those people are a@@holes. You get bad apples in every bunch, but shouldn't judge the lot on the few rotten ones.

If someone is willing to learn, they are certainly embraced.

And newcomers are generally not pandered to as in the Christian community, because we're not out to convert or keep as many "members" as possible.

Act mature, reasonale, intelligent and balanced and you'll get all the guidance you need!

Answer 9

there's a big difference between being a newbie and a fluffy bunny.

newbies are people new to paganism who are eager to learn. they already know that witchcraft isn't what they see on tv, and they've always felt a connection to paganism and are looking to explore that.

fluffy bunnies think that they can turn their ex boyfriends into toads. they are usually young teens who have no real or deep interest in learning the path. they think pagans are "cool" and sometimes they are just rebelling against whatever or whoever.

basically, one is serious about it, the other is not.

most long time pagans like to give knowledge to newbies but don't have the time for fluffy's

Answer 10

I'm not a pagan but I am wondering if what you are experiencing is similar to what Jewish converts go through. It is common practice for a rabbi to ignore/turn away or otherwise discourage a potential conver at least 3 times before accepting them if they accept them at all. This is done because it is viewed as a measurement of how serious the potential convert is about his or her new faith. I hope you have a better time of it in the future and perhaps you can take your experience as a cautionary tale for you own dealing with newbies in the future so that you may give them a more positive experience. In other words lead by example.