He had a good job he quit beause of stress. The second job (only lasted a couple monthes) he quit because he was verbally harrassed by his boss ( which I don't blame him.) The third job he was let go because he was not the right type for them. The fourth job he was sent out of state for training and they let him go there for supposidly being the wrong type also. But... on that job he was talking about eventually quitting when he got back. I am questioning the security of this person and the ability to help support a family when we get married. We have been together for almost 3 years. We just got engaged last December of 2007. I still care for him, but I am not really seeing a marriage due to this unstability. I am also questioning the escuses now. The first three were feasible but it seems like a habit. what do I do??? I feel like i am not being fair to myself fo accepting this behavior. This has all come down in 10 months time.
2007-10-19 06:48:52 · 12 answers · asked by PADMAE 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Good for you for being smart enough to realize that you deserve better. Move on . As difficult as it is, the sooner you break up the better.
2007-10-19 06:52:40 · answer #1 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think breaking up is the right choice if you really are devoted to this guy and eventually getting married.
Tell him you can't marry a guy who doesn't seem to be able to hold a job to support you and that you're postponing the wedding until he shows that he can hold a job for long enough (and give him a set amount of time).
2007-10-19 13:56:22 · answer #2 · answered by katy0819 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him don't let him go. But hold off on the marriage thing for a while cause it seems to me like he really doesn't want to work. He keep making excuses and if you keep letting him get away with them now he'll be making excuses through the whole marriege. Talk to him and let him know what you feel. Tell him that he needs to get a job and (If he don't already have one) and he needs to prove to you that he can be a man and hold on to it long enough to support you and your future family together and to stop making excuses.
2007-10-19 14:02:08 · answer #3 · answered by tcgagirl18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're boyfriend is always looking for the next thing. It doesn't really mean that he can't keep his job, but rather that the excitement wears out and he wants to jump to the next job. Commitment issues manifest themselves in different forms, and he needs to realize that jumping ship is not always an option once we've settled down with a family.
2007-10-19 14:00:06 · answer #4 · answered by hyposave 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl....please do not get married now. He has to prove to you that he is stable and can support a family. Don't put yourself in a position to harm yourself, your credit or anything else that you are striving for. Put off the wedding. Don't get married just yet.
2007-10-19 14:00:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think even Dr Phill will tell you to cancel the big day. You'll be the one supporting him if he doesnt get his act together...now if ALL these employers kick him to the curb for the same reason then wouldnt that be a clear sign?
2007-10-19 13:54:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lead by example. You fail to mention *your own* "job" -
Never marry unless you can provide security yourself. You say, "I am questioning the security of this person." Meaning what? It sounds to me like you fear not only your own FINANCIAL future, and fear the prospect of having to "[provide for him]."
Your question screams: HOW CAN I MAKE MY MAN A SUGAR-DADDY hubby? That's cool - but your lack of candor in same regard is questionable in itself. Are you afraid of him, afraid for him, or afraid that YOU will be among America's working poor?
2007-10-19 14:02:01 · answer #7 · answered by sweetsisterofmine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have known people in your situation. Time to pack it in and call it a day. Don't want to sound harsh, but the other choice is you supporting a couch potato.
2007-10-19 13:56:32 · answer #8 · answered by justwondering? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.Unless you want to end up supporting a husband for the rest of your life, don't get married.
If you really do like the guy --make him hold down a job for awhile BEFORE you get married
2007-10-19 13:53:40 · answer #9 · answered by Fred F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that if he cant get a job an keep it your going 2 live him .
2007-10-19 13:58:46 · answer #10 · answered by dollerbud 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋