I get so tired of seeing questions from step mothers complaining that their husband's ex doesn't spend the entire child support check on her kids.. I'm a step mother, myself.. so I'll try to explain..
There are on average 30 days in a month. Child support checks are usually sent once or twice a month, my husband happens to send his on the first of the month- around the time her rent is due.
For the other 29 days, his ex is responsible for groceries, paying bills, getting whatever their daughter needs for school, paying a babysitter when she needs one on weekends, missing WORK to take the child to the doctor, and all other financial responsibilities that come along with parenting...
And she spends HER paychecks doing that..
Then, on the first of the month, when her rent is due she gets a child support payment. She pays her rent, and then if she wants to do something for herself, by all means she's earned it.
What more do you want?
2007-10-19 06:45:39 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
His check DOES equal half. But she only gets it on the first of the month.. The rest of the month, SHE'S supporting the child on HER checks.
Point being- you can't put a red dot on every dollar you send to the ex for child support and expect thorough documentation of everywhere it's spent. As parents, we sometimes put aside what we need for our kids. If she puts off getting herself new clothes because their daughter needs something one week with her check, then she should be able to get herself the clothes when the child support check comes in.
Why do people marry people knowing they pay child support to someone else then spend the rest of eternity griping because they have to send the ex money?
2007-10-19 06:57:53 · update #1
I'm a stepmother, too. My husband had custody, but the ex-wife was not required to pay an child support and it was her actions that originally caused the dissolution of their marriage.
Furthermore, my husband had to make alimony payments and the ex-wife continued to collect those alimony payments for three full months after we all had new spouses. My husband presented proof of this to the state government agency and was told, "Too bad. Good luck trying to get you ex-wife to reimburse you."
Men get a bad rap in these situations, too.
2007-10-19 06:58:19 · answer #1 · answered by DJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a lot of the time it isn't really about the money, Its about hurt feelings, anger, wanting to still be with the person. Once the divorce is final the only real way to affect the other person is through the children. It's like they say the children get stuck in the middle. Sometimes it is just that the parent wants the other parent to be there for the child like he was before the split--even though he is no longer there.
2007-10-19 14:16:25 · answer #2 · answered by George M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same question.....I feel that child support helps, but is manly used as a way to keep control, Making someone be involved.....I say, eff you, "we" don't need you...Smile now and cry later bastard. Ahhh, I feel better now=)
2007-10-19 13:50:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While you have some valid points, HIS check ought to equal half of whatever expenses are incurred on behalf of THEIR child.
2007-10-19 13:53:44 · answer #4 · answered by Lady G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People don't "get it" so might as well save your breath, but you made a lot of good points.
take care.
2007-10-19 13:51:30 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you asking something, or giving us a lecture?
2007-10-19 13:49:49 · answer #6 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋