I broke up with her a year ago. She was wonderful but I didn't have time to her and I couldn't carry on a long distance relationship; but I MISS her very bad. Two months ago I sent her a letter asking her forgiveness and telling her that I was extremely stupied but with nothing about getting back together. I didn't expect she would reply because I disgraced her, I admit I hurt her much. And then she replied with a very brief e-mail saying she forgave me and she got over the hard time. I sent her another e-mail thanking her for her reply and saying that I wish we may have a chance to have coffee together someday when I go back to the country (actually I meant to be friends as a step to get to know each other better that might lead to a relationship again).
It is more than one month and she has not replied. I know she read my e-mail but why hasn't she replied? Also I tried to call her once and no response.
Note: I know from friends over there that she hasn't dated anyone since me.
2007-10-19 06:39:47 · 41 answers · asked by Heartache 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Although I usually fare on the side of "guys don't get it when it's over", this is a hard call. It sounds like she hasn't spelled out that she "doesn't have feelings for you anymore". Instead, what it sounds like is that you hurt her very badly the first time. Her memory of you is one of pain and hurt, so, she may still have feelings for you, but they are not good feelings. The nice things she felt about you were replaced by (now) fear of your future actions.
Whether she has seen someone else or not doesn't matter. It won't change her feelings for you if she still has them for you. When you are back in her town - and only once you are back - then call her on the phone and ask her if she would like to get coffee then. She will let you know at that time what she wants to do. Perhaps at this time she is not wanting to respond by e-mail because she has nothing to say at this very moment. It is difficult to want to spill your feelings to someone over e-mail when you feel like your feelings could be walked on a second time around. So, try calling her once you get into her town. And in the meantime, don't sweat it. Good luck.
2007-10-19 06:50:35 · answer #1 · answered by baklavakay 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Accept that she has forgiven you first and then forgive yourself. Let it rest on her for a while. She may have not dated b/c she misses you or she may just be afraid of being hurt again so don't take that as a definate sign she is hung up on you. I was in a situation of the same nature and we did get back together over time it took me a looooong time to respond to him. I am talking months. So be patient and give it a little time if you hear nothing after a bit then move on.
2007-10-19 06:46:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because she isn't dating anyone, that doesn't mean she would be interested in seeing you again. You obviously broke her heart. If she's anything like me, she closed the door to any more pain and isn't interested in seeing you again. But at least she said she forgives you. Move on. There are many women in this world. You'd be surprised how many are like your ex. Just be patient. When you find the right gal, she'll think you're the right guy as well.
2007-10-19 06:44:55 · answer #3 · answered by Serena 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it means it's over. Trust me, when a girl wants to get back with a guy they too will be proactive in taking the steps that will accomplish this. You can always say your prayers but I would be taking steps forward while praying.
It's easy to break up so next time, be sure to take the time to weigh the consequences as much as possible. I hate to say this to a person with a broken heart, but odds are if she was that special to you it will not take her too long before finding the next person who will think she's that special and are willing to commit the time and energy to her that you were not.
2007-10-19 06:48:57 · answer #4 · answered by dianemarieperrine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude... in all probability it's over. And if by a faintest chance, there is any spark left anywhere, it would be wise to let it die on its own... there's nothing to be gained by carrying the past on your shoulders. Leave it behind and move on.
You are right she has read your mail. And the fact that she did not respond tells me that she is mature enough to think straight. You do the same and look ahead and welcome a new tomorrow. You can't relive yesterday anymore.
2007-10-19 06:48:29 · answer #5 · answered by Walker L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its' over. im sorry, but it seems you had your chance. I dont think she wants to take a chance of getting hurt again. And why would she want to do the whole friendship leading to dating again with the same guy? Trust me buddy the only way you would be able to get her back is if you did something drastic and put your heart on the line. But no girl in their right mind wants to hear "lets just be friends for now" from an ex that seems like he wants to get back with her. Its like she is going down the same road to the same place ending the same way.
2007-10-19 06:45:16 · answer #6 · answered by Mary L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She probably doesn't want to give you another chance and still isn't over all the hurt even though she told she was. She probably didn't want to give you the pleasure of knowing that she's still hurt, I certainly wouldn't. So let it go, let her go, you had no problem doing that a year ago. Don't bring back all this hurt on her again, that's only if you care for her though.
2007-10-19 06:43:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my personal experience, if a girl tells you she's moved on well, she's moved on. If she can convey that message to you without being emotional then she's definitely over the relationship.
HOWEVER - women have been known to fall back in love...so like my aunt says, "nothings over until you're dead" Be honest and straightforward with her and tell her how you feel - if she responds and is interested take if from there. If she never responds or responds that she isn't interested well, then she's definitely over you and you need to move on.
sorry....love sucks sometimes
2007-10-19 06:47:07 · answer #8 · answered by beast 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes its over. She may have forgiven you but she has no interest in resuming a relationship with you. Just because she isn't dating doesn't mean she hasn't moved on. Sorry but she is over you, time to move on. Try to not make the same mistake in your next relationship.
2007-10-19 06:45:42 · answer #9 · answered by ctelly22 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's over. But maybe it's over because she's not ready to trust you again. I would say leave her alone for awhile, then try to contact her again in another month or so. Maybe around Christmas. You never know what may happen in the future.
2007-10-19 06:45:21 · answer #10 · answered by Celtic-Candy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋