Follow up question about telling my girlfriend about her not going to heaven with me?

Question

I've decided to have a heart to heart talk with her this weekend. I appreciate your previous concern for my situation, and my need to explain her choices in this world and beyond.

For those who may not know, a quick synopsis. My girlfriend and I have dated for over a year. She is almost perfect, except for the fact that she is an atheist. Now, don't get me wrong. You wouldn't know she is an atheist just by talking to her. No, mainly it's in her thoughts, and her willingness to engage in pre marital sex with me.

Before we take the next step in our relationship and unite as one in the eyes of the Lord, I need to let her know the clear boundaries. There is an afterlife, and neither her nor her atheist family are going with me to heaven if they don't embrace the gospel. Her father is already angry with me for sharing the knowledge that he will be burning in hell forever.

Anyway, I'm taking her out for dinner this Saturday night after going to a movie. I'm a little nervous about having to tell her she is going to burn forever in the fire pits of hell, but it's very clearly stated in the bible, and if she hasn't read that yet it's really is on her.

Any advice on broaching the topic? What type of food should we have?

Also, she is about 7-8 pounds overweight.

Answer 1

that wench!!

order some hot tamales and tell her to get used to the burning sensation!!!

Answer 2

Until she is ready, she will not "see the light". If you cannot accept the fact that she is not a Christian, you should break things off immediately. It's sad that she will not know everlasting life, but she is not going to change just because you tell her she's going to hell. In fact, she will most likely just get offended. Pray to God for the answer and pray that she realizes what she needs to do have everlasting life.

Also, who cares if she is 7-8 lbs over weight? This seems to be an issue with you, too and if that's the case, she should drop you for bringing up something so ridiculous.

Answer 3

Not sure what her weight has to do with anything but I digress.

I'm sure she is a smart lady and understand YOUR view that she will not be going to heaven with you. However that is not what SHE believes and it sounds like it is something that is more important to YOU than HER.

Love can conquer all or so it is said, but you may want to consider the religious difference before you get married and possibly have children because it will crop up again and again ESPECIALLY once children are involved.

And you mention HER willingness to engage in pre martial sex with you. If you guys HAVE had such relations that is not only "on her" so to speak but you as well. Many christian based faiths frown upon such relations, and you sound pretty devout. I would have thought that you would have put your "foot down" on that one. But once again I digress.

Good Luck, relationships can work with religious differences it just takes, work, compromise and understanding.

Answer 4

Ok I didn't read your last post so I'm in the dark here so please excuse me if I don't know all the details.

From what I have heard I have to things to say first,
It takes two to engage in premaritual sex, if you wanted to and she said yes it's as much you as it is her.
also
Why does it matter how much she weighs?

The food you eat really doesn't matter, probably make it something she likes to eat.

Now don't worry, I'm a christian, and a fundamentalist, and everything but I kinda disagree with the way your going about this.

1st Peter 3:15 says
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect...
Ok so the gentleness and respect part is the big part, and I'm not saying that you weren't going to I'm just reminding you.

So think of the situation, your talking to someone you love, about something else that you love(your God) so your going to want to do this as kind as possible.

I don't think you should start out with the thought that she will burn in hell, that's a little harsh.
So maybe start out with something like,
I really care about you, and I think your a wonderful person, and I really think your life could be so much more wonderful if you accepted the Lords wonderful gift of your salvation.
Then tell her about how the Lord our God exsists, whether we like it or not, but that he loves us so much, whether we know him or not, to die for our sins and offer himself as sacrifice for our sins.
Without him we would need to live a perfect life and since that's impossible he is the only way.
Tell her about some reasons you believe, it is a leap of faith but there is some evidence.

God put the knowledge of him in our hearts and minds, whether we chose to accept it is our own decision, thats called free will.

If you really can't be married to a non-believer, and she really won't believe than don't compromise yourself, but have you tried to tell her about God before now? And if you haven't how long have you known her?

Anyways I hope that helps and I wish you the best of luck, remember, gentleness and respect.

Jessica

Answer 5

Dude that's just not nice. You just don't go around telling people that they're gonna die and go to hell. I mean it's inevitable that we're all gonna die someday, but who's to say where that place is gonna be? You don't know what may happen between now and then and if you're going by the bible you should know that if you're unequally yoked that it's not a good thing anyway. And it's usually people that are really into church that are the worst people anyway because they are always passing judgments on people who don't believe what they believe in (and note, I didn't say all the people in church are that way) . So why don't you just let her go and go find you a good "churchy" girl to give your heart to oh and make sure she's not overweight ;)

Answer 6

okay first of all, being atheist doesnt mean ur going to hell, it just means that u believe in a high power maybe not god! My dad is a minister, and he believes in the bible but who is to say that buddha for example isnt the "real" god!???? Trying to change your girlfriend to cross over into ur religion and telling her she is going to burn in hell isnt going to change the fact that shes atheist, if you have such a HUGE problem with it maybe you should find someone who is within ur religion! And what does anything of the bible have to do with her being 7-8 lbs over weight, is that against the bible to or what! Have speghetti for dinner. Who cares? and i dont care if i get "booed" on this answer, but im not athiest nor christian im not sure who i am yet im still trying to develope who i am, maybe she is too! just leave it alone!

besides if ur a TRUE christian why are you having pre-marital sex anyways? you will go to hell for that too ya know?

Answer 7

It's not wise to try to force the Gospel down her throat, but share Christ with her. Try to understand why she believe what she believes and ask God to give you Godly Wisdom and Godly Understanding to minister to her. Most importantly your lifestyle will play a big role for God using you. You want her to open up to you and talk with you. Don't make her feel uncomfortable by making her feel you're unapproachable. Be humble and allow the love of God be shown through you. On the other hand, if she doesn't receive the Gospel it's probably better for you to just be friends with her b/c if you pursue a relationship with her after she stated to you where she stands about God this will promote strife and you will allow the situation to become a stumbling block to you down the road. Do not be unevenly yoked, if so this will cause confusion down the road, and even you may become a stumbling block to her receiving the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Stop making excuses to pursue a serious relationship with her and hope/pray that God will touch her heart and she will change, b/c you may just be setting yourself up to fall and be disappointed if you think she will change. Then you yourself will begin to compromise Gods Word.

Answer 8

You apparently know a whole lot. Tell me, would you feel the same way if she was Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, or another religion. Are you so arrogant to think you know 100% of what God wants and does? I mean you already made the comment that atheists are supposed to act a certain way. And that by talking to someone, you can tell if they are atheists or not. From my uderstanding of the bible, you are more likely to go to hell then her.

Answer 9

You're about to tell her that she's going to burn in hell , hey ! buddy , how about yourself ?
Holies believe that no matter what they do , they'll be forgiven for it . Don't count on it . If this earth is a testing place to see who is worthy of heaven , you'll take all of your baggage with you before the big judge .
The greatest laws of the church are the ten commandments. Break one , and down you go - - forever .
THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY .
If you ever engaged in sex without being legally married to the girl , get ready for the free heat , a lot of it .

Answer 10

Who are you to cast the first stone?

You need to re-read the words of Jesus who did not judge or condemn those of other faiths.

You do not KNOW they will burn in hell. You have been TAUGHT that by your church. They do not KNOW they will burn in hell. They have simply been taught that by other members of the church. Jesus did not condemn people so why does your church do it?

I also think it's very wrong that you are condemning your girlfriend for having pre-marital sex, but sharing none of the blame yourself.

Mishandle this as badly as you can. She's better off without you.

Answer 11

I believe that your attitude is a turn off. Christians are told to go and tell others about Jesus, show them His love and be an example. We are not told to tell people that they are going to Hell. How do you know that she is not going to Heaven? Let Jesus handle that. She will probably accept Jesus if she sees His love for her.

Have the dinner, do the above and just hold off on the marriage until you can both agree on your beliefs.

PS. If telling her that she is going to Hell doesn't work, then tell her she is fat. That should end your problems.