Why are there so many kids "screwing" with their lives?

Question

I find more and more questions from young (I mean YOUNG) kids asking about sex, pregnancy, and other adult problems.

There are kids saying "Do you think I could have gotten pregnant? What should I do?"

They are uneducated about their actions, yet they continue to do these things. If you are not sure if this or that action could result in a consequence that is undesirable, then for pity's sake, DON'T DO IT!!!

Then there are the young man-trap teenage girls that will secretly try to get pregnant "on accident." They think they are solving all their emotional problems. They think the guy will instantly commit himself and fall in love...

..Then they end up with no college education and one or more extra mouths to feed. I know a girl who had a kid before her education was through. She is really struggling now. It is hard to make enough money on your own and go to school and have time with your kid to raise him right.

Why do you think kids are doing this? How can we prevent it?

My apologies to those young parents who are doing well for themselves. I never intended to insult you by generalizing, but you are an exception to the trend. Furthermore, I give you my kudos for staying happy and successful. I am not ranting about you.

I should add - the girl I know absolutely LOVES her son and knows he is a gift from God. But she also intelligently acknowledges the fact that her life is harder because of her choice to have him.

She has difficulty finding a job that pays enough to live on. She cannot count on the dead-beat father for any help. That is not her fault, but it is her cross to bear.

She tried schooling, but while working full-time, she barely had time to juggle a secondary education and quality time with her son.

She places more importance on her relationship with him than she does on money, so she is not in school right now. It is better that he goes without name-brand clothing and cereal if it affords her time to raise him in person.

Don't tell me you are better than her. She loves her son and sacrifices for him every day.

I am not sure what made people think I was asking why it is happening more than before. I know it has always been a problem. I am just more irritated by it because it is more apparent than it used to be.

I seem to be offending a few. But it appears to me that the majority of people agree that there is a problem.

To the one who made the assumption that I am not a parent and thus it is none of my business to ask, maybe I should add that I am 27 years old, married with no kids of my own. It is not hard to NOT get pregnant. But I am fostering a 10 year old girl and am not looking forward to dealing with this problem in the coming years. The more insight I can gather right now, the better for her.

I am having difficulty choosing so I am going to put it up for a vote.

I agree that the biggest problems are the lack of education from parents, as well as the media making it seem glamorous. Yes kids are stupid and are incapable of the realization that they do not know everything.

But I am not willing to just pawn off the blame for our problems on some biological defect. This only excuses us from our responsibility to protect our kids.

If they are incapable of proper reasoning in those situations, then our job as parents must be to keep our kids from those situations in order to protect them. We don't give our kids the keys to our car if we know they are incapable of driving safely (well most of us don't...).

This is no different. Parents! Take action and stop being your kids' best friend long enough to parent them effectively!

Okay I will come off of my soap box now.

:)

Answer 1

Parents aren;t doing their job...they would rather be their child's friend.

Answer 2

To be honest with you, this isn't a brand new problem....if you look even in the fifties and sixties when society was a lot harsher on teenage unmarried mothers girls still got pregnant. Hormones, and age play an important factor. Teenagers are stupid yet think they know it all which is why so many reckless things are done by them (I for one can vouch for being stupid at that age).
But then I think a number of things factor in....parents not educating their children right. Children yearning for love, and thinking that having a baby will give them that love. Girls being infatuated with a boy and thinking that a baby will tie him to her forever. And also low self esteem....if these girls truly believed in themselves and saw the world as their oyster they wouldnt risk getting pregnant at all.
In the UK, teenage mothers are often labelled as 'heroes' and society is actually quite supportive of them, which has led to the UK having the highest teen pregnancy rate in Europe. I don't think it's the same in the US though.
Prevention could come by being honest with kids. First of all make it clear that sex is not someting they should be doing till they're old enough to be responsible. Bring teenage mothers in to tell them how hard their life is and what a bad idea it would be. And also, this sounds mean but I think we as a society should add a bit more stigma to it....if someone see's getting pregnant as the most shameful thing ever, they're probably going to take more steps to avoid it. And first and foremost we need to give better sex education and information on STD's...if a teen is having unprotected sex a baby is the nicest thing they can catch.

Answer 3

I think it's a combination between the public school system and parents themselves.

Firstly, parents need to step up and be involved in their children's lives. My mother taught me from very early on that sex = pregnancy. Obviously not always, but that no matter how safe you are, there's always a chance. I've carried that with me and I've only slept with people that I could picture myself having a child with just in case (good thing too, I got pregnant by my now husband!). A lot of parents aren't open and honest with their children, a lot of them don't' even talk about it with their children, making it hard for their children to get adequate information from a responsible adult.

I also thing public schools need to be more resilient in their sex ed programs. Kids need much more then the "this is the sperm making it's way to the egg" video. They need to learn responsibliy, STDs, pregnancy statistics, abstinance AND safe sex. And I don't think most of those things are being met everywhere.

I know what you mean, though, it drives me crazy to see a 13 year old on here asking if something can get her pregnant. If you're not sure of the consequences of your actions, you shouldn't be doing them at all.

Answer 4

Because kids think that they are the smartest creatures on earth and will know more than their parents ever will! They are at a point in their life where they feel invincible and think “…it won’t happen to me!” Being adults we obviously know that’s not the case and their setting themselves up for failure paying no attention the consequences that they’ll face in the future. The big issue I think is that parents these days “give” their kids everything and let them do just about anything. I didn’t get Ipods, gameboys, xbox’s, and cell phones in my stockings at Christmas… I got board games, candy and clothes! And when I wanted a fancy toy, my mother told me to get my but out there and earn some money, because she wasn’t made of it. She also told me god forbid I get pregnant before I finish school, because she wasn’t paying for another child. My mother told of the consequences if I did something wrong and most importantly she followed through with them. I think these days too many parents are trying to be their kids “friend” instead of a “parent!” The most essential thing I think a parent can teach a child is responsibility and I don’t see that with teens now. They run around in Prada purses, designer jeans, and flashy cars! What happened to the traditional “bomber” car? Most kids these days are spoiled and selfish and have a fantasy that money comes off of trees…they think they’ll get everything for nothing. Parents simply need to parent and quit treating their kids like friends period!

Answer 5

Kida have always been like this (not all kids). It only appears to be more rampant today because, unlike 50 years ago, it's more out in the open.

Teen sex rates have not decreased, although they are getting younger. But teen pregnacy rates of decreased significantly over the last 50-60 years.

It seems like it has gone up because, back then, teenaged mothers were shipped off to covanents and boarding schools.

There are more kids going to post secondary schools today than there were 20 years ago. This is because more and more mothers are working out of the home and kids can afford to go to college/universities.


As for this "growing up to fast" I totally blame the media! When I was a little girl, back in the 80s and early 90s, shows directed towards my age group and teens rarely, if ever, spoke of sex....today on the other hand..it's crazy! All these teen movies talks of sex, oral sex, drugs, alcohol, etc.

Answer 6

I think its something that has always been happening. Just up until now they ha vent had a place to ask these questions and that's why we are hearing about it. I think they are uneducated. i remember being young and not knowing and I would have loved to have a place like YA to ask questions without anyone knowing who you are. And to get a answer. Schools need to educate children I would say as young as 10 about sex, and parents too. Dont make the mistake and think your child is too young. Because they might go out and find out on there own and not know anything about it. Teach the children, answer there questions.

Answer 7

Those are some horrbile generalazations.
But anyway... Honestly I have seen some better relationships when I was in high school then I see among parents and teachers. Kids and teens aren't stupid. They aren't getting the education.
Yes, some are just slutty, but that hasn't changed! There have always been kids like that. Look at the facts presented in someone elses answer! Watch Grease. That movie was set in the 50's and it's sexual.
Want to point fingers?Tell the Bush admin. that we need sex ed. ,not abstance only in schools. Tell the "silver ring thing." abstance program that they need to not say, and I quote, "Condoms don't work." It's no wonder kids are clueless.
Accidents do happen. A teacher at my schhol took her B.C. pill EVERYDAY and had a kid. She cracked jokes about it all the time. People slip through those cracks. Nothing is full proof.

Answer 8

It seems to me these kids are curious and aren't getting the right info at home. Most of these kids need to talk with their parents or the parents need to step up and talk to their kids on what they should do and the consequences....everything. They might roll their eyes and go ewww but they will listen and it will make them think. As a parent you need to let your kids know that you are there for them if they have any questions. There are times especially on sex that the parents need to go up to their kids and just talk about everything. Not necessarily how it is done like the bird and the bees but getting into feelings for a boy/girl, the consequences, waiting til you are married to someone you love, those types of stuff. Talk, they will listen more than you as the parent think. I am not saying it works on all, I'm just saying your kids might surprise you on how much they listened. We can't control free will. But we can educate them and tell them everything and beyond that a health class might not get into to.

Answer 9

i really think it is the parents..........

the parents are not asking questions on who, what, why, and where are these kids going. the parents need to start asking who are they with, what they are doing, where are they at, and why are they doing it at all times.
when i was growing up i thought my mom was mean cuz she always asked me these questions, but now that i have kids, i understand. But you have these parents that kids do what ever, when ever and where ever they want to. and then you have some kids that lie alot.
like for example: son (aaron) telling mom: i am going to spend the night at Jimmy's house.
and Jimmy says to his mom "i am spending the night at aaron's house." both moms say ok. so then there is two boys running around in the middle of the night and could get into lots of trouble. or get someone pregnant or get a girl pregnant. why didn't one of the mom's call the other mom?

kids have to earn trust not just expect it. but when it is earned, parents still need to know what the kids are doing 24/7. no you can be with your kids when they get older 24/7, thats why they have cell phones. and when the kids are not looking actually go and make sure they are where they said they are.

Answer 10

I know what you are talking about! Its so irritating, I get so frustrated reading about it but its like someone needs to come down on them once in a while. I went to college for a bit but I have a medical problem that is causing infertility so I stopped and am getting married(I was already engaged) so I hope you dont mean that I am ruining my life, Im sure you didnt though. But yes, kids need to learn about it and parent need to be more strict.

Answer 11

three words: Underdeveloped Prefrontal Cortex

That is to say that the part of the brain that handles impulse control and foresight of consequences doesn't generally fully develop until a person is in their mid-twenties... until then the brain's filter is a bit porous and crazy ideas are easier to push through without getting the mental red flags that say "dude! that's a terrible idea!" or "You're going to get into SO much trouble if you do that"...

so.. they do silly things that on some level, they know isn't right but at the time, they just can't be bothered to think about it.

Parental influence makes a difference, but even then kids make mistakes and can't always forsee the consequences of their choices.