Last Christmas my mom invited me, my husband and kids to Christmas dinner. She gave us our gifts a few days before Christmas and we opened them here at home on Christmas morning. When we got to her house to have a dinner with the family, my brothers, their kids and wives and my step brother and his family, we all ate and then when dinner was finished everyone, except my own little family and I, were asked to go into the other roon and open their gifts, which they all did together. Obviously we felt left out so we decided to go and my kids' feelings were hurt terribly seeing all that as were mine. My question is, seeing as how it went last year do you think we should again spend Christmas with my mom or politely decline? I haven't even talked to her about it because it wouldn't make any difference if I did. Any ideas on what to say to decline her invitation this year would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
2007-10-19 05:33:05 · 9 answers · asked by Dazy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need to communicate more with your Mom. Ask her why she gave you your gifts earlier than everyone else last year. I don't see why you're so mad with her though - it's not like she didn't give you any gifts at all. And she cooked Christmas dinner for you and your family. You should be grateful.
This year, if she invites you, bring your unopened presents with you so you & your kids can open them at the same time as everyone else.
2007-10-19 05:39:40 · answer #1 · answered by Fiona NYC 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I would go. It's your family and your kids will lose out if you don't. If your Mom gives you the gifts early again this year, just say "Oh, thanks Mom, but I think I will leave them here so we can open them along with everyone else during Christmas dinner." Then give her a hug.
2007-10-19 12:47:06 · answer #2 · answered by Cat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask your mother why you were excluded from sharing gifts with the rest of the family. It will make a difference because you, like anyone else, want to be included. If her reason is not a good one, then base your decision on that. If you decide to decline, just tell her why.
2007-10-19 12:46:54 · answer #3 · answered by Larry 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We only get one life.. Why waste it not spending time with family? That's what Christmas is all about and trust me it's not always fun for everyone... it's just what you're supposed to do. You should show your kids that dwelling on things is pointless. Love your family for who they are; flaws and all.
You should mention to your mom how the kids were a bit hurt last year and tell her you would like to have them included like everyone else. (you're lucky you can kind of use your kids as an excuse to tell her how you feel!)
2007-10-19 12:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by *coral* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why your mom would ask everyone else to go open presents and leave you sitting? Are you sure she left you out?
I suppose if it were me, i'd talk to my parents or mom about this and ask her why... and to give you an honest answer. this is the only way you will know what she is thinking.
if she can't be honest, there is not much you can do.
spending christmas at home would probably be best for you and your family, if you and your mom have unresolved issues.
that's my best answer.
2007-10-19 12:47:52 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop acting hurt and ask her what the deal was with last year. Did she tell you to bring the gifts so that you could open them and you forgot, did your siblings plan it and you didn't get the memo. Don't ask people who don't know your family, call your mom and ask her what the deal was with last Christmas.
2007-10-19 12:38:59 · answer #6 · answered by ellusionary 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you may be being a tiny bit harsh here....she bought you presents...maybe she didnt have time to see the others to give them theirs before the big day...it was just a bit of bad planning on her behalf...why didnt you mention it? It wouldnt be fair to decline when you never even told her you were hurt by what amounts to simple disorganization....tell her about how you felt.
2007-10-19 12:37:45 · answer #7 · answered by Daisyhill 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Either tell her to keep the gifts so you all can open them there together with your family.............or if she does give you the gifts early, don't open them until that night and take them with you to open them together.
2007-10-19 12:48:03 · answer #8 · answered by Harley Mama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What was the reason for giving you the gifts early?
2007-10-19 12:37:14 · answer #9 · answered by Jerry Thunder 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋