I need your input badly. I am with a man that got a divorce 1 and 1/2 yrs. ago, He gave me a ring and asked me to marry him last April, I said yes. But Now I looked at his phone bill and he calls his x wife many times in a month and she calls him. This is making me sick as to what to think of this. If I talk to him he gets upset. And tells me he gives me no reason that he treats me good and he is always here for me. That is true, but why the x wife does he have to call so much. I feel like he is cheating on me. and he won't talk to her when I am around. Please give me some input. Thank you Angie
PS He has no children and we are in our 60's
2007-10-19 05:17:44 · 19 answers · asked by Angelic G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm divorced also... Last June actually, so it's been about a year and a half. My X-Wife was married in March to a new man.
Well shortly after they were engaged she started calling me a lot... talking to me about how she missed me and wanted another chance. She said how she loved me still and I told her the same thing. March came and they got married, but we still talked on the phone about giving it another shot. Finally in April only 1 month after she remarried she left him and drove halfway across the country back to me. She cheated on her husband (not proud to say this) with me many times, didn't tell him where she was, and told me that she was happy with me.
Then things changed with us very quickly... She started acting withdrawn, and I caught her having secret phone conversations with him. Finally, after she had only been back for 2 weeks, he came here and they left together.
If they are talking secretly you can be sure that it's not innocent. It's normal that two people who were married recently will still talk about whether or not they should get back together... I feel bad for you hun... I wish you the best.
The only way that you will know for sure is if you do what I did and overhear a conversation that they have one night... Only then can you know what you need to do.
2007-10-19 05:30:12 · answer #1 · answered by Jake B 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
My ex and I were married for 22 years. He left me for his pregnant g/f. That was nearly 3 years ago. We are still in communication on both the phone and when he occasionally comes to my home--where he lived with me. There is absolutely nothing physical between us. I would not think of letting him touch me again after he got that woman pregnant while he was married to me. As far as I'm concerned he's getting what he deserves--he is NOT happy. But we were married for so long, and we have a shared history, and sometimes it nice to have him to talk to. We had no children together so that's not even an issue. We were just good friends, as well as husband and wife and lovers, for a long time. That's the best that I can explain it. There's not many things I would do for him anymore, but talk is cheap and I can listen for free. I DO NOT give him advice!
2007-10-19 05:40:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you can't talk to him and he just gets upset giving you no answer then you should definantly reconsider marrying him. Why marry someone who makes you feel this way and won't help you to feel comfortable about this situation. Cheating or not, your feelings are not mattering to him and if he treated you so good, then he would talk to you about this and stop talking to his ex. It wouldn't be a secret if it a good thing! I'm sorry for your troubles and good luck! But look at the big picture before actually marrying this man!!!
2007-10-19 07:15:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Divorce means the marriage is over, not necessarily the friendship or family 'feel'.
I am divorced and talk to my ex husband just about everyday. We do have a child together and sometimes that is why we call, but other times we call just to share something off topic like good news, updates with family or mutual friends etc. We have a lot in common and if I see something I think would interest him, like a news article or book, I will call him and share. Heck, we even call each other for advice. There are many reasons why we talk so much but we have zero romantic feelings for each other. The marriage and any interest in it is completely over. He's still my friend. A good friend. That's all.
He probably won't talk to her in front of you because you make him feel that he is doing something 'wrong' by talking to her. As long as you make him feel that way he is going to be it privately. If he knew that you accepted his friendship with her he may be more open about it.
Trust him. The divorced for a very good reason and he wants to be with YOU now. He would not have proposed to you if he hoped to get back together with her. He would date you and not commit while fantasizing about a reconciliation. That is not the case. He is moving forward with you,.... if you let him.
2007-10-19 05:31:33 · answer #4 · answered by Peace Yo 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
If no are children involved there sholud be no reason that he needs to talk to her that much. I would feel as if I was being cheated on as well. Tell him this needs to stop or its not going to work out. You need to put yourself first. If hes getting upset about it, it usually means they have something to hide. You could always give her a little ring and ask her about it. HEHEHE.
2007-10-19 05:30:10 · answer #5 · answered by tarie75 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How long had they been married?
It may just be that they are better at being friends than they were at being a couple.
On the other hand, I can understand your concern especially since he won't speak to her around you; however, that may be because he doesn't want you to get all upset over the fact he's talking to her......or it may be something else.
Either way, I'd have to say there is likely unfinished/unresolved feelings between them. I'd hold off on setting a wedding date if I were you.
2007-10-19 05:29:28 · answer #6 · answered by H B 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
All right. You sound worried and I believe you have good reason to. Since he refuses to talk to her in front of you, I would say he's hiding a few things. If you try to discuss your feelings about this situation and he gets defensive or tells you you're just overreacting -- that is a huge red flag. Have you talked to him at all about this? Make it clear he needs to stop talking to her as often as he does. If he doesn't make the effort, break off the engagement.
I would stick a GPS somewhere in his car to see if he actually visits her. Here's a website:
http://www.brickhousesecurity.com/gps-car-tracking-vehicle-logging.html
2007-10-19 07:22:56 · answer #7 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Unless he has children he has NO business calling in EX.
Please be very careful and think twice before making a commitment exspecially at your age and this season in your life. You deserve better than that. NEVER marry a person that treats you as an option and not as a priority.
2007-10-19 08:54:09 · answer #8 · answered by encourager4God 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
seems such as you have a splash difficulty there. i might checklist a number of the calls making particular you have the date and time she calls. attempt to get her to comparable the call of the guy in the lower back floor, because of the fact the could be reported as as an antagonistic witness in case you opt for to prosecute her in a court docket of regulation. tell your divorce legal professional call the police. exchange your variety all that jazz. in case you have youngsters this could be sticky reason this might impact them yet i know you do no longer choose your little ones raised yet a loony like this so its solid ammo for custody.
2016-10-04 04:06:01 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long were they together?
Have YOU met or talked with the ex?
IMO you may be overreacting. You should talk to your fiance about this and not us. He says to not worry, so you shouldn't, BUT you should say you want to meet her. If she's involved in his life like that then you should meet her.
If he has a problem with you both meeting, that would send a red flag up.
2007-10-19 10:54:39 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋