How important is sex too you?

Question

I am 26 and a woman and I am finding now that I am dating that if a person doesn't have sex with me the way I want or need that I am just done with them.
My friends say I am shallow but am I? I mean I think it is a most important part of a relationship!

Ok ok don't make me out as a slut ok I am recently divorced and met a really nice man and have been dating him for a few weeks and I have told him to not be so "nice" IE: grab my hips, I am not fragile and damnit initiate it every once in awhile.
I am beginning to think that beings I like really nice guys that it may become a problem because he is so nice in the bedroom as well.
Yes there is a time and place for that but am I always to be the one who influences how we are going to have sex? Is he ever gonna just spontaneously grab me and have sex with me like he wants?? Sorry for the bluntness...
My marraige had problems with this too and weird thing is I am not shy at all I speak my mind and still no changes with my husband and ya it annoyed me and we started fighting alot, call me what you will but that is just how I am I cannot help it

Answer 1

I think, as a man, you have to be able to be spontaneous and unpredictable sexually. You have to be able to read the moment, sometimes she's going to want to be seduced, with candlelight, chocolate-covered strawberries, and soft music in the background. Sometimes she wants you to let the animalistic instincts to take over. Fact is, as men, we're always going to "get ours", so we need to make sure that she "gets hers" everytime, and really you should make sure she orgasms at least one more time than you do. Flexibility is the key fellas, you can't just do it the same way everytime, while still taking note what she likes and doesn't like. Remember the whole beauty of sex is pleasure!

Answer 2

Sex is a VERY important part of a relationship...it's just our society is not used to hearing a woman say that. It's usually a man who makes such statements, even then it's considered a shallow thing to say. But, just like you need to make that intellectual connection a physical connection is SO important...having somebody who can satisfy your needs on ALL levels (even a sexual one) is important to making a relationship work. Now, I'm not saying it's the only determing factor, but an important one to throw into the mix of decision making in terms of who you want to have a relationship with. I would say though, that communication is important, you'd be surprised what you can achieve with a man if you say this is what turns me on and this is how I like it...I mean, if there are other "connections" the sexual one can be honned to perfection with a little direction!

Answer 3

Pissy Krissy, sex is very important in any meaningful relationship. However it is not the end all and be all of relationships as there are times, perhaps not now in your live but someday it will be there for you also, when we all need more from our partners than just sex. As far as things not being that great in the sack, well it usually gets a little stale in most relationships but that is when conversation must be held to help improve or let the other know what is missing.

Answer 4

i would say that you were shallow if you let a good man go over sex. sex can change with different people and sometimes you will have to be intimate for a while to learn what a person likes and dont like.

im hoping you are already liking them before you have sex so why not let that be something you are willing to perfect in your relationship like you will find many other things that will need to be worked on if you plan to be in a union.

SEX IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN A RELATIONSHIP and you are obvioulsy single by that statement!!

when you grow out of that crap, you will meet a good man that will be willing to express one aspect of his love through sex and it will be the best you ever had.

Answer 5

I'm 24 and female, I find sex to be a very important part of a healthy relationship but not the most important part. For me, honesty, love, and compassion rank higher but I need a strong, sex life. I have broken up with a guy because of our horrible sex life but I also did not find him compassionate or outgoing enough outside of the bedroom.

You are not shallow, just honest. Find what you want, don't settle!

Answer 6

REAL SEX....is NOT a pretty sight like in the movies. Its work, and sweat, and very unattractive lol! But in answer to your question I would say it depends on who your stuck with! My husband is abusive and I have lost all interest in sex. And not having sex doesnt bother me one bit. BUT I should say that if I were to divorce and find someone I was "into" then sex would be very important to me.

Answer 7

I believe you are doing the right thing if you don't check your oil it can cause major problems, sex is just the same. You have to find someone you like, and makes your kitty happy too.

Answer 8

Before you "throw them away" are you telling them what you want and what you need? Remember, we can't read your mind, hon! I know the ultimate is to achieve orgasm each and every time, but is how you reach it important to you? Or perhaps you are multiorgasmic and need more time to become totally satisfied. If you don't tell, then how is the guy supposed to know?

Answer 9

Different Strokes for Different Folks, as for me I don't have any desire in intercourse matters.. I just don't have the urges some people say they have. I have a few fetishes but no intercourse sexual desires. I asked my doctor and he say's it's normal some people are platonic! So if by sex you ment intercourse I would say No not my cup of tea!

Answer 10

Yeah its important but it shouldn't be first priority. Plus people are not mind readers if they are not doing it the way you want you have to speak up and tell them or they are never going to get it.