Childless, single and still wanting that at 43. Am I doomed or crazy?

Question

At 43 I thought I finally found the perfect woman for me. She is the same age as myself, had never been married, no children, common interests, and absolutely beautiful. Come to find out she was simply having an affair with me. At least thats my thought. She told me up front that she was living with her boyfriend for 3 years at that time, yet was not in love with him, and knew she never would be. Said she wanted to change the direction in her life. After countless conversations, intimacy was a big part of our lives. We were both searching for closeness, affection, and ultimately love. I thought I found it with her, so I asked her to marry me after one year of dating. She declined. I was devistated. And after two more years, I still am. There is nothing more I wanted then to love this woman and begin a family with her. I opted to wait awhile, but I know it will never happen at this point. Have I done wrong in my life? Should I still seek the "perfect woman"? Or am I doomed or crazy?

Answer 1

You need to move on from this woman. You may be doomed to not finding exactly what you want, but she isn't the one who is going to give it to you. Stop hoping fo rwhat will never be.

Answer 2

Dear, No one is dommed or mostly not crazy. Also, no one ever goes completely wrong in life, any moment, you can turn it around and be good again, that's what life offers.

Now, it seems the lady you were interested in, was after all bit scared of commitment. That's the only reason I think she told a NO and was single at 43. Now just get over her ... coz this is your life and it is ending one minute at time ... so lets not waste more time ...

Don't seek perfect woman, life is imperfect and that's where fun lies. Find someone who makes u smile, rest you both can fit in .. and once u are into someone, a relation, a marriage and hopefully kids ... you will find the bliss , you always wanted .... comn, get on the bus .. it is never too late to be good again ... :-)

Answer 3

Dear Childless,

I am also 43, and a single mother. I have had some life experience, so I will try and give you some observations...

The big red flag that went up right away in your question was the fact that she was living with her boyfriend of three years. This tells me the woman is not ready for anything else, and in the future, when you meet someone still involved with another, you need to move on. It usually is a big waste of time "waiting" for that person, and it really tells you about that person's lack of character...living with one guy, and dating another. Also, you might want to look at yourself and think about why you accepted this "arrangement."

About the perfect woman, she doesn't exist, but you know that. We all must weigh the pros and cons of being with someone. It's helpful to think of it in an unromantic way, as a business partner. Is this someone whose decisions you trust? You can rely on? Who is of good character? Etc. How does she make me feel about myself? Can I live with the things that aren't perfect? I think part of making something work is loving the person in spite of their shortcomings, and ultimately, maybe loving them for their shortcomings...

You're not too old, but you might want to sign up with a counselor to get past this. It's been three years, and that's too long to still be pining for an old girlfriend. You need to work through it, before you let three more years go by.

Perhaps you will learn to attract mentally healthy, available women who want to be in a relationship. And maybe a younger woman, so you can have children together.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

Answer 4

i'm purely approximately in that comparable boat. i've got faith loopy sometimes beng 30 and single by no skill been married and no young ones. especially whilst the two one in each of my youthful brothers have a baby a bite. all and sundry n my family members is like hi what are you waiting on? i'm like nicely i'm waiting for the queen to stroll into my life even though it variety of feels that she's lost someplace. So i do no longer even think of roughly it that plenty from now on I purely flow with the bypass. as nicely you could no longer make somebody desire you. i won't be able to lie i could desire to be a husband a father some day yet as i become older it purely would not look like it relatively is ever gonna happen. it relatively is purely no longer a woman element I inform you that. i'm with you nonetheless I reported that if i've got not got a baby via the time i'm 35-36 then i'm purely gonna forget approximately approximately it. i do no longer desire to be a 50 year previous guy with a a million year previous youngster ya comprehend? I won't even have the potential to play with the youngster becuase i'm going to be too previous to head around.

Answer 5

You're not doomed or crazy. There isn't a certain age that things will happen for you. It's never too late to find that "perfect woman". Just know that no woman is perfect. Everyone has their flaws, so don't discount someone because she isn't "perfect", because then you'll miss out on alot of good women.

Answer 6

You're not doomed or crazy, nor have you done wrong in your life and this is punishment or whatever. You're desires in your heart are there for a reason and I don't think you should stop looking for the woman you want to marry. "He who finds a wife finds a good thing." Solomon said in proverbs.

What this woman did to you was wrong. You were wanting a serious relationship and she's afraid of commitment. Check this out: "God will give you the desires of your heart" the Bible says. You know, God created marriage so I think He's a big fan of it. He's glorified by giving us the desires of our hearts when we honor Him in it.

Hope this helps.

Answer 7

The perfect woman is out there waiting for you and the more time you waste on this woman the less likely you are going to find your sole mate. Obviously she is not going to leave her boyfriend so you need to move on. Having children that late in life is not impossible but you are wasting time waiting for her that you could be spending on finding that perfect person. Move on and find her she is waiting for you

Answer 8

Start going for the younger women. They like older guys. I'm looking forward to that age, for that reason, myself.

Answer 9

i believe women get crazier the older they get. i say look for a younger woman, they are looking for older men with those qualities you described.

stop seeking, maybe your judgement is not as good as you think. when you stop, see who gets sent your way that you may have missed while you were looking another way.

Answer 10

43???? Go for it! 40's are the new 30's right? You still got it! And you'll have it for as long as you want it.

Don't let yourself down, you're a younggun still.