I have a really good male friend who has been nothing but respectful, kind, and he kind of took me in at a time when no one seemed to care. I ended up moving to France to teach and we talk everyday. I think at some point i kind of fell in love...i told him one time that i cared a lot for him and that i loved him...i wasnt sure if it was just a friendly love or more. He ended up telling me he had feelings for me. So we kinda started a long distance thing. Weve both been through a lot and this morning i was kinda thinking about the past...i told him i didnt know how to get over my divorce...not bc i love my ex anymore but just bc i now have no self esteem, he took away my creativity with his abuse, etc....he was really nice and tried to help but then seemed to just get fed up and he said can i just talk to you later. Why did he hang up the phone? Without even saying bye. What do i do now?
2007-10-19 04:36:29 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just to add...he told me that i should be over it by now and that it is all in my head and other people have bigger problems and scars than i do.
2007-10-19 05:27:26 · update #1
He misses you and wants to hear about the two of you, not your past.
2007-10-19 04:39:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you must understand how valuable you are. It's hard to believe that coming from me, because you don't know me. But check this out: God says that before you were born he knew you (Jer. 29:1) and that he has a plan for you and a purpose, a good one at that (Jer 29:11-12).
Secondly, he may feel like he's not getting any progress with you. It's in a man to fix things and if he's talking to you every single day about how you need you're self-worth back and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere, then he could be frustrated. I've felt that way with a girl many times. Just give him his space and don't worry about him. If you can, let him call you back when he's ready, that will show him that you respect him. Hope this helps
2007-10-19 11:46:15 · answer #2 · answered by J-Po 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most likely he just needed sometime to sort through the emotional issues you raised. If he does not call you in a couple of days or so give him a call back and ask how he is doing. If he wants to talk about the other phone call do so, if not try to talk about something else as he might be going through a rough time himself emotionally and need some time to digest all the emotions. Good Luck, he sound like a good man (Believe it or not there are still some of those around) Keep his friendship. It is what really matters in the end.
2007-10-19 11:43:03 · answer #3 · answered by L. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a few possibilities, one being that men in general are a lot less comfortable with dealing with their feelings than we are. It could have been the equivalent of a sensory overload- they don't like it when things get too emotionally intense. My best bet is that he needs a bit of time to process what you've said.
Other ideas is that what you said could have made him angry at your ex. If thats the case he may have wanted sometime to cool off. I know that my bf can get a bit like that when my ex is mentioned.
It could have been something really simple like someone calling him away or him being a a hurry.
Try not to get paranoid about it and take it to heart. It sounds like you've got a good one there- just see how it goes and maybe next time he calls don't jump straight into that topic for a while.
Good luck *hugs* men are complicated.
2007-10-19 11:43:04 · answer #4 · answered by Moi? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't know the whole situation, but I would say, if you talk about your ex, or even just talk about things from your past a lot, that he might have been feeling like you can't let go of the past. He may feel like you are shutting him out, and are not ready to have a relationship with him, which may upset him because he really cares about you. Good Luck.
2007-10-19 11:43:51 · answer #5 · answered by Sexi Khyle 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1) Maybe you got disconnected by lost signal.
2)Maybe you got disconnected by phone battery dying.
3)Who's paying for those calls? Maybe you got disconnected by an unpaid service provider.
4)And, you know, you've really shared ENTIRELY too much information, just to ask your question. You might really want to consider the courtesy of hiring a therapist, rather than emotionally dumping on a well-meaning friend. It's natural for guys to become attracted, when they feel they need to protect you. Heck, with all that drama, you would distract anyone else from another relationship they might be in, to a level, wholly unacceptable to anyone, who might be involved with them.
So, ...maybe he just CUT You OFF, because he's done.
I'm not trying to be mean, but YOU are being unfair. HANDLE your business, or get someone equipped to, to help you to. And, when you are back on the path to healing, you can bring something healthy into your interactions with others.
Right now, heck, just reading your question, you sound like a festering emotional germ!
Depression and depressiveness is contagious, and that's too much to ask anyone other than a professional to go through with you.
2007-10-19 11:48:28 · answer #6 · answered by R B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships are hard. They don't hold up to the normal rigors as well as a regular one. I would try not to get into a lot of heavy, negative or needy areas while in this situation. It may begin to feel not worth the work. Good luck!
2007-10-19 11:40:59 · answer #7 · answered by Kim 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its seems to me that you haven't been with ur ex in awhile. So talking to him, saying u don't think u can get over him. Has upset ur new BF. You should be talking about u and him and not some other guy. Now your BF is now wondering if u can go without having sex until u see him next.
2007-10-19 11:43:36 · answer #8 · answered by ranger33 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most people don't want to get into deep conversations with their girlfriend/boyfriend about how their relationship was with their ex's. It's really a difficult topic.
Beyond that, without analyzing the conversation, it's hard to say who made a mistake and where or why such proceedings occurred.
2007-10-19 11:41:28 · answer #9 · answered by Gray 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always a bad idea to talk about your ex w/a new guy, but i think he was a little mean, cause it's not like you were praising the ex or anything, give him a day and then call him back and ask him nicely how you offended him.
2007-10-19 11:49:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Considering where he was when you 2 were talking, maybe he didn't like where the conversation was going, or just had to go, don't jump to conclusion, wait to hear his explanation for not saying good bye, and hanging up abruptly.
2007-10-19 11:54:10 · answer #11 · answered by carmel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋