Am I totally crazy or what?

Question

I'm 50 years old and I met "L" last year. She hangs out with some friends. We've always talked a lot amd she is this amazing person. But, because of her age(22). I knew that we could only be friends. Last week she asked if we could go out and talk. We went to Olive Garden , then spent the afternoon at the park. We talked about everything and I totally trust her which I havn't trusted a woman for a long time. She wants to be close friends, but I know that I'm falling for her. Is this totally wrong, should I break off our friendship, just suck it up and never let her know how I feel and be friends. I've alwasy tried to do what is right, but I reall care for this woman. If friends is all that we can be, then so be it, but i would be hard

Answer 1

I can relate to this - I have fallen for a guy much older n i cant work up the courage to let him know bout my feelings since i feel he may be very much matured and may think im stupid... And the day he makes a move, i am all his! :) So, atleast ask her if she feels the same...22 and 50 aint weird these days... if u both genuinely like each other, u ppl can make ur life beautiful. I have decided never to let him know coz im not sure bout wht he feels... WEll may be she thinks like me! Do ask her out... Or may be u'll keep questioning urself in the future that what if???? At the worst, what will happen??? Rejection...But ur 50...u've seen life and u know heartbreaks, doncha??? Not all women like making first moves.... I wish my crush would be asking the same question somewhere and someone would make him realize that he needs to take a step :)...All the best!!! I'm adding u, do let me know what she feels after u find out!!!

Answer 2

Be careful. She may be confiding in you because she views you as a father figure. That is my first thought. It no doubt makes you feel good about yourself to have the attention of this young girl but don't misunderstand what is going on. If you need sound clarification talk to her. Ask her what she seeks in this friendship. However, be prepared for her to turn away from you if she gets the sense that you are interested in her for more than friendship if she is trying to establish a father/daughter, mentor/disciple, teacher/student type relationship.

You don't need to break off the friendship, but you said it yourself that you knew you could only be friends. Why do you know you can only be friends? Something led you to believe that and now, perhaps, your desire for her is clouding what you once knew.

If you're falling for her you might consider dating other people as a distraction. Join an on line dating service if you don't know how meet women in your area.

Of course, I could be all wrong and she may be curious about you too. You can take the risk of asking her or you can be patient and wait for more clues. Just don't read too much into things. Sometimes we mistake innocent gestures and words for 'cues' because we see what we want to see.

Another word of caution. If it worked out and you started dating, be prepared to have your heart ripped out. I doubt she is going to settle down with you long term. She might live a fantasy for a short time, but she is still maturing and finding herself at 22.

Good luck in figuring this out.

Answer 3

Sometimes friendships have a way of lasting a lot longer than a love. You are supposed to care about a friend, even love them (but you don't have to make love to them). As an older friend, you are in a position to tactfully and gently advise her of the pitfalls and difficulties that young people encounter in their 20's, but only if she asks. If anything, you can be a good listener. As time goes on, being "just a friend" may become "a best friend". Do you have so many friends that you can push one away?

I find that people who say they have dozens of close friends are a bit narcissistic. If most people, when they look carefully at their relationships, will find they 3 or 4. They are the friends who come to visit you in the hospital and feed you when you are too sick to do so, they mow the lawns of same friends when they are dying of cancer. They remember all the important dates, they are understanding when you are having difficult times in a relationship or life and are willing to listen to you when you rant and rave. It's tough to be a friend sometimes. You have to overlook the annoying things and the differences in politics and religion. With a little luck, they will last a lifetime. Tonight my wife and I leave to visit one of my best friends out of state. I have known her for almost 30 years. She married a good friend of mine and was divorced a year later. Her daughter from her second marriage is my goddaughter. Be happy with your new friend.

Answer 4

Well I wouldn't break it off!! Just be her friend and then maybe she'll want more in the future with you!!! ;) Cause like lots of people say age ain't nothing but a number. If there is love there then don't stop being her friend cause even if she never has the same feelings that you do for her you will still have loved! And love is what this world needs more of! =D

Answer 5

Too much age difference! Maturity level is not there for this 22 year old woman. She will change what she wants a thousand times over. Don't put yourself out there to get hurt like that. Keep your friendship! Good Luck!

Answer 6

The two of you enjoy each other's company. Continue to be friends and see where it goes. There is a tremendous age difference, of course, but that is not always the yardstick we should use. Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas... she's in her 30's and he's in his 60's.. and they are happy together. Life is for the living. It's good to bend the rules every now and then.

Answer 7

You should break it off. Sorry, but if you continue to be her friend then that will keep you from finding someone else because you are "falling for her" and it will only get worse. You will potentially be setting yourself up for misery. Most of the time if she just wants to be friends it will stay that way. She is really young and mostly likely is still trying to find herself. Do it for your own good.

Answer 8

Don't break it off, but I wouldn't get too close too soon. I don't know this person, but she is likely to rip your heart out. Get to know what she is about and see if she has gotten all her "wildness" out of her system and see if she is ready to be committed to someone. I have no experience with large age gaps, but my sister is 31 and she is very happily married to a 51 year old guy. Good luck.

Answer 9

it depends a lot on things other than what do you feel for her.is this love mutual???you need to clarify stuff before its too late as you know its going to be hard for you.and anyways there is a good 28 years between the two of you so the situation might not be as pretty as it seems.anyways good luck.

Answer 10

Talk to her. Find out how she feels about you and go from there. Tell her what you just told us and you may be surprised as to what she says. My Dad is 55 and he has had plenty of girlfriends in their 20s. Freaks me out a bit to know he has dated girls my age (28) but age is really only a number when we are talking about happiness. Go for it! What do you have to lose?