Why is this immoral?

Question

Why do people concider it immoral to live with your boyfriend of 3 years with out being married? When it comes down to it most people sleep with the partner before marriage and they spend the night at their place on occasion for whatever the reason may be. what is the difference in living togther? Its just like staying the night preminittly and the sex thing, well you were doing it before you lived together right I understand how people save themselves for marrage would consider this immoral. But for the rest of socity to say that when they are just going home at the end of teh night i would like an opinion please. Please no snide remarks.... i would like real answers without the attitude. Thanx!

Answer 1

Marzgirl there is nothing immoral at all with this happening in todays society. As a matter of fact I would strongly recommend that couples do cohabit together before marriage as it may very well cut down on the number of failed marriages. People who marry often aren't aware of how the other truly lives and cannot handle it when they move in together. By living together prior to walking down the aisle, if you so choose, you get to know one and other's habits etc. Do not allow what other's may say to dictate to you their morality as you are on this earth to make yourself happy and not them. Best of luck.

Answer 2

well, it goes back to the bible and our definitions of what is acceptable behavior in our society. some things are allowed and some things are not. People have known what is good and bad for everyone in society for thousands of years. The morality changes a bit because it was developed before the time of birth control. However that also is considered immoral by the bible. It really depends what matters to you. The problem with men/women living together yet not being married was that inevitably a child would be concieved and there would be no promised support to it. No gauranteed environment for it to live in. This causes a burden on everyone else and is bad for the child. So, people see it as bad if there are couples together which are not wed.

Answer 3

It is because people still haven't got out of middle ages, when everything about two people was immoral. Although sexual freedom is declared, in reality moral standarts of majority haven't changed. Note, I said majority. Because there are many people who don't judge living together without marriage.
We live in a society, it's a fact that almost all great scientists and philosophers admit. This society has developed institute of marriage because it needed it (think of Christianity influence). And what was once created can't be abolished as easily. There are 6 billion people in this world and majority of them live in 'must-be-married' cultures. It's just unthinkable that all these 6 billion will give away their belief (in need of marriage) in 20 or 30 years, while it's been present for almost 2 thousand years!
I believe that someday you'll be able to say loud that you sleep and live with a man who's not your husband. However, now it's like fighting a wind - you waste your time and energy but it still blows. You either have to work in (i.e. marry or be silent a about non-marriage preferences), or be strong enough to be yourself.

Answer 4

I don't think most people who are okay with premarital sex but not with living together think the second option is immoral (unless the couple in question are the same sex and they have a problem with that for whatever reason): they just don't think it's a great strategy for having a healthy marriage down the road or a stable environment for any kids that might be brought into it before the marriage happens. You can debate their reasoning all you want, but don't confuse moral judgment with being just plain judgmental.

Answer 5

I believe people feel that it is immoral base on religious believes. They say that if your were to marry this person that it's a higher percentage that the marriage will fail b/c you live together first. But they do not want to discuss the marriage failure rate of those who followed their "religious believes"...how incompatible they are to each other. There are couples who are married that don't get along, while the ones that co-habit get along great. I agree, I think it's wrong to accept people that sleep over their girlfriend/boyfriends house but not to accept it when they are living together. I believe that people should not judge other people based on their religious believes or their life experiences. Just because the shoe fits one person, doesn't mean it will fit the next person.

Answer 6

I can answer this. I grew up in a very conservative house hold. My mother was so upset when my brother moved in with his fiancée before they were married. It comes from an age when women also had little control over their bodies and they existed for procreation purposes only.

It is looked down on because only two types of women lived with a man before marriage: home wreckers and prostitutes. Keep in mind that even abandoned women were also wrong if they had to work to support children.

Today, to older people it says that you are giving it up without commitment. Many evangelicals today think it is wrong to have sex outside of marriage. I think for them this is control issue and some religious types are really big on control. Their point of view is so strong that in some states, like Virginia, it is against the law to live with a member of the opposite sex that you are not related too. They feel it reduces unwanted pregnancies. They do not have much data to support that claim.

I do not see a problem living together. It helps build commitment for me. It also helps you get used to being with that person. But I also think that people are not as open with their partner when they move in together. So they do not really learn as much as they should about this person.

Answer 7

There is nothing any more immoral about living with him before marrying him then there is with having sex with him before marriage. The bible says that you should wait for marriage to have any sexual contact, so that is the morality, not living together, although living together would almost guarantee that you would have some sexual contact before marraige

If you want to avoid immoralilty don't live with or have sex with anyone before you are married. If you are already having sex and plan to continue doing so there is nothing more wrong with living with him

Answer 8

I moved in with my B/F of 4 yrs a year ago. I think you should test out how you live together before marriage.We get along great we had to get use to each others ways of living. I know a couple that dated in high school, Collage and married then of course lived together and 6 months later they separated and eventually got divorced, they do still "date" but just can't live together.So the MORAL of that story you have to "TEST DRIVE" the relationship so to speak by living together. You can love each other all you want but the bigger question is can you live together?I do not think it has anything to do with being immoral is personal preference, and if we all lived our lives based on what others think then we would be one unhappy married society.

Answer 9

Its immoral to alot of people cause they believe everyone should live the way they feel everyone else should live. Most ppl who make this statements of things being immoral are normally the ones who have done something immoral in the past or thing that they are holier than thou.

As far as you living iwht your bF for 3 years that is great cause you are getting to know each other .. do what makes you happy and don't worry what others have to say cause they are just others .

Answer 10

excuse me for this, SCREW SOCIETY! LOL OK, if you and your man love each other, and plan on in the future being married there is nothing wrong with being together. Back in the old days it was wrong. Yes it still " should be" but it is not any more. But there is a lot of should be's and was's! But times have changed. Woman work like men and men work like woman. Woman faught to open own doors, and work construction. when we used to not be able to that stuff. Children are having babies all of the time these days. So do not feel like you have to justify your lifestyle to any one. Live your life to your hapiness.