My ex boyfriend wants to give things another shot. We dated about 5 years ago. My parents absolutely forbid me to see him. They have threatened to divorce over the whole thing and everything so I decided not get back with him. Now, I really really want to be with him and I can't be because they are going to hate me forever. By the way, he also has a kid now, but he has a real good job and his own place and everything. They think he is a low life. I am 21 and he is 23 which is not the big deal but thought that might help answer my question but what my question is, is... Will they ever learn to accept this? I have built a brand new house on their land and have to live beside them so, its pretty bad. What can he do to show them how much he wants to be with me and what he is willing to do? We broke up because we cheated on eachother but I did it first and my parents don't know I cheated on him. If I tried to tell them that now, they would think I was doing it just because. Please Help!
2007-10-19 04:22:25 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Plenty of fish in the sea. Your parents are nice enough to set you up with a place on their land. My advice is to end the relationship with this feller today. And tell them today that it is over with him forever. Find a christian dating service in your town, or find a feller at church, or college who has a good career and no children with other mommas. This will keep you in good standing with your parents, raise your self esteem, and be a healthy choice for your lifestyle.
2007-10-19 04:27:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes Parents know best sometimes They dont. I had a friend in HS she had a boyfriend and her parents hated him for no good reason. She was forbidded to see him..so they broke up..after they both graduated and was out on their own they got back together and to this day are still together and married with two kids.
If the only reason why you two broke up was because you were young and both cheated. Your relationship may work now you are older..As long as you both are not cheating hopefully at this time you both are free and he is not seeing the mother of his child...?
Talk to you parents. I dont see why your relationship would make them get a divorce doesnt make since to me..kinda odd.
hmm
2007-10-19 11:40:09 · answer #2 · answered by pixieturtle23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually your parents have good reasons for feeling the way they do. I would suggest that the four of you sit down and go over all your issues together. Let your parents speak their peace and then you and the boy speak your peace. This will at least give you two a chance to see exactly whats on their minds and you can tell them how you guys feel.
If you cheated on each other there was obviously something wrong to begin with and now he has a child? Your a little young to already be dealing with a man that has a kid with someone else. Is that what you really want for yourself?
2007-10-19 11:32:36 · answer #3 · answered by Paula Christine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, this sounds messy, especially since you are on their land...its kinda like you are still in their house...because you will really want to get along with them...also if they never like him, you nor he will ever be really confortable with living there, and you'll want to move. I dont know if any guys is ever worth losing your relationship with your parents. But, some parents can be too over baring and sometimes should back off and understand....especially when you are over 18. They do want the best for you though...so you need to be honest with them about yours and his relationship and how he wasnt the only one cheating....you got to be honest...they are not liking him because of that...another thing to think about is him having a child...that may be hard on you and you may end up having to take care of the child, and you may think it's no big deal or it's so sweet, but kids are a handfull and the other girl can turn out to be a butt eventually....I dont know...you really need to think on this one....but most of all be honest with your parents and if it is meant to be, it'll be.
2007-10-19 11:38:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok so this one is a tough one to answer.... first of all, you should really do the adult thing and sit down and talk to your parents. Explain to them that you both made mistakes in the past and that you are now ready to try again. Let them know that this IS happening and that really they have no say in it. If they want to accept you for who you are, then they will have to get over it... now as for what he can do...he can come over and talk to your parents too. let them get used to the idea, from your conversation, and then have him call and ask to see them. it would be better that way. just tell him to speak from his heart and let them know exactly how he feels about you and how he knows he messed up before but that he loves you...you know...how ever he is feeling:) I think if you are upfront and honest they will listen to you and realize that you are an adult and are allowed to live your own life. and they need to accept that:)
I hope that this helps..I also wish you luck!
2007-10-19 11:28:29 · answer #5 · answered by Karen O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater..Your parents are talking to you from experience.They just want the best for you.But on the other hand it's you that has to be with him, your 21now you have grown up from 5 yrs ago. They should stay out of your business and let you make your own mistake. 1st mistake you made was building a house right next to them.You will never have privacy.And they are putting you on a guilt trip saying they will get divorce if you go out with him. As far as your parents accepting him they propbaly never will.
2007-10-19 11:55:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but this is none of your parents' business. If you love someone, you parents should not get in the way of that - they should be supporting you. Explain to them that you both made mistakes in the past, it wasn't just your boyfriend's fault for the split. Tell them how you feel about him - tell them the truth. If they cannot accept that, I would think of moving off of their land and threatening to cut ties with them. Also, they should never threaten you with their divorce. It is a completely disfunctional way to deal with problems. Talk with them!!!
2007-10-19 11:28:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents threatened to get a divorce to get rid of your boyfriend? This doesn't even make sense.
After reading your question I can only say that you are too immature to be in a serious relationship. It seems to me that you want to be under your parents thumb but have other things as well. As long as you live on their land you will always be answering to them.
2007-10-19 11:30:39 · answer #8 · answered by m_c_m_a_n 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im curious as to why they dont like him. you said you live on their land, are they really controlling? it sounds that way. with people like that its gonna be hard to convince them otherwise. If you were together for 5 years thats a long time if you are only 21 now. Need more information as to why they have such a problem with him and maybe that will help us understand and give a better response.
2007-10-19 11:27:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do what ever makes you happy, but you are still young. You are a adult know so you can make you own desions but I bet your parents are just trying to keep you from getting hurt again. I bet if you talk to your parents and tell them that "I want you to accept my boyfriend and I am a adult now so you should learn to realize that I can make my own desions. So if thats going out with my old boyfriend I want you to accept that. I also understand that you are trying to keep me from getting hurt again, but if I do I can handdle it." Good luck and I hpoe my answer helps!
2007-10-19 11:40:56 · answer #10 · answered by n♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋