Golf Joke‏?

Question

At dawn the telephone rings:
'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house.'
'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?'
'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your dog died.
'My dog? Dead? The one that won the International competition?'
'Si, Senor, that's the one.'
'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that dog. What did he die from?'
'From eating rotten meat, Senor Rod'
'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?'
'Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.'
'Dead horse? What dead horse?'
'The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.'
'My prize thoroughbred is dead?'
'Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.'
'Are you insane? What water cart?'
'The one we used to put out the fire, Senor'
'Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?'
'The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire'
'What the hell??.... Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle??!!!
'Yes Senor Rod.'
'But there's electricity at the house!!!
'What was the candle for?'
'For the funeral, Senor Rod.'
'WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!'
'Your wife's, Senor Rod... She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver.'
SILENCE........ LONG SILENCE...............



'Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep ****!

Haha, good one Zaid! :-)

Answer 1

That was a superb one.. Now my turn

A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but they always had a somewhat lively effect on him. After he met the woman of his dreams, he made the supreme sacrifice and gave them up; he couldn't imagine subjecting his new wife to his beastly emissions.

On his birthday, his car broke down, so he called his wife and told her he'd have to walk home. He walked past a cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he was still a couple of miles from home, he figured he could indulge, and then walk off any ill effects. So he had three extra-large helpings of beans, and he "put-putted" all the way home.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!"

She blindfolded him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table, making him promise not to peek. At this point, he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang and she went to answer it.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He gasped and felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. This one sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. He tried flapping his arms, to clear the air. But another one snuck out, and the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook, and a minute later, the flowers on the table were dead.

When he heard his wife ending her conversation, he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. He was the picture of innocence when she walked in.

Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. He assured her he had not, so she removed the blindfold and yelled, "Surprise!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

Answer 2

2 adult adult males are palying golf. one of them is speaking aobu thow he's continually dropping or unfavourable is gilf balls. His frined tells him that he has a ball that could want to't be lost or damaged. at the same time as requested to instruct it, he eliminates a superb orange ball from his pocket. His frind, ever the sceptic factors out that he has considered colored golf balls before. "Oh, yet compared to this one," he's instructed, "This one is indestructable." Then to instruct it, he's taking one ofhis golf equipment and hits the ball as confusing as he can, bending the club. His buddy is truly impressd yet factors out that he loses extremely some contained in the water and that a ball that onerous should be so heavy it sinks like a stone. In reaction the owner of the ball takes it to the water probability and throws it so some distance as he can. The ball hits the waterand particular sufficient, it sinks immediately to the bottom. A 2d later it rises to the exterior and floate over to the edge the position the owner is status. the guy is now ceriously interested in this ball. "Thats large", he says, "yet i'm getting plenty stuck contained in the sand too." and not using a be conscious his buddy takes the ball to the nearest sandtrap and buryies it. A 2d later a small drill pokes via the serface of the sand, alterations right into a claw and the ball is pulled out. "ok, yet I lose plenty contained in the woods too." back his frine throws the ball so some distance as he can, this time into the woods. After a 2d there is this deafeninf extreme pitched whining squeea and a superb purple laser bean shot up about one thousand ft into the air. "ok, i'm inspired. it really is completely the incredible golf ball ever made. the position did you get it." "Oh i found it mendacity close to the 10th hollow."

Answer 3

Excellent jokes

Answer 4

Great!! I 'll tell my husband tonight.

Answer 5

Wait until I tell my brother-in-law, he will just **** his pants.

Answer 6

ha ha, v good