I can’t say I’m not ready for a relationship or anything like that cause he will know it’s a lie…I don't want to hurt and i think i will. Any suggestions???
2007-10-19 03:38:37 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I dont believe its possible. A girl once treated me like ***t and trust me it didnt work, i was reeeeeeally upset for ages. I think the best thing to do is to tell him the truth. I know its not a nice thing to do but its better than making something up.
If i were you i wouldnt make it such a shock tho. Give him a few clues every once in a while otherwise he could just freak and do something stupid.
Its not a nice thing to do i know! But whatever you do, if you dont love him, you shouldnt stay with him! That will only hurt you both more.
2007-10-19 03:45:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK first of all, no matter what you do, it will hurt. Period. Accept that.
But if you feel this is something that has to be done then you must do it. Just do it cleanly - no tearing - let heal - tear some more etc. etc. You know the drill.
Examine why you want to break up. Even if it truly is "I'm not ready for this" or "I think I can do better than this..." make sure you know deep within your heart that this is the thing to do - and precisely why.
Then break up with him. Tell hm that you're setting him free and that you just don't think it's working out - or ever will work out - for whatever reason (Including I tried to love you - but I just don't.)
He'll be hurt. He'll cry. He'll plead. He'll even resort to mean things like starting rumors or threatening suicide etc. Make it stick.
Make it final. Don't look back and this means no emails, no calls, no texts, no nothing. Even if you meet up at the mall just say hello and beat a hasty retreat.
Now, if your family/friends think you two were "made for each other" clue them into precisely WHY you're breaking up with Prince Charming before you actually do the deed - so they can support you. Otherwise you'll never hear the end of how you let that one slip through your fingers...
2007-10-19 10:48:38 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just have to tell you that there is nothing you can do about breaking up without hurting the person. That's life....But, what you should know is that you should think seriously about it before you break up...it is not just telling him off but having the right reason(s) for breaking up and you must make such that you tell exactly why you feel you both should let go of the relationship. Even though it would hurt him, it would be better that way.
2007-10-19 11:05:40 · answer #3 · answered by James Blunt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is great that you are being considerate of the other person's feelings, usually the dumper just stops communicating with the other person and expects them to figure it out on their own. To me that is just plain mean.
My advice to you is to is to choose your words carefully, do not "sugarcoat" anything. In your explanation do not talk about this person's shortcomings it will only make them defensive and/or try to convince you that they can adjust their behavior to suit you.
Just let this person know that you think they should move on and give them self a chance to find someone better suited for them that can offer them what they need/want in a relationship.
Nobody likes to feel rejected, so there will still be pain, and you will not be able to control how this person responds, but I believe if you are tactful about how you handle this situation, this will reduce the level of "hard feelings" between the two of you and hopefully your future dating experiences will consist of people who have the same attitude you do.
2007-10-19 11:14:49 · answer #4 · answered by anosey1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How often have you known rejection to feel good? Hmmm? It's something we all face in life from time to time, but all you can do is be as kind as possible. You have no control over how the other person chooses to react.
Be honest...tell them you two just aren't a good match (or whatever else you feel compelled to say, but be gentle) and you wish him the best in the future. Don't lie...don't use any canned lines such as "it's not you, it's me". If you two aren't right for each other, then you're not right for each other...
2007-10-19 11:08:41 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest you can't, not when the other person likes you. On the other hand it doesn't sound like you two are boy/girlfriend so it may not be as hurtful to the other person as you think.
Since you two are not in a relationship I would recommend you to do it over the phone, preferably on a Saturday afternoon in the event that IF he is hurt his friends can take him out or he can do something to cheer himself up. Also to soften the blow blame it on yourself as much as you can (whether it's true or not). Just my 2 cents
2007-10-19 10:54:18 · answer #6 · answered by Reign Supreme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's impossible to break up with someone without hurting them if they're really into you. Just say the truth, that you don't think he's the one for you. Leave it at that, and don't get stuck having a deep discussion. Good luck, and be honest and respectful. Don't promise to be friends, that always leads to drama.
2007-10-19 10:43:54 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be as nice as you want but above all be honest. There is no way he is not going to be hurt but as long as you are honest he will come to respect that you were honest. If you are honest it will be done and can never come back at you or him. if you lie and he eventually finds out he will wonder how many other lies there were and it will be thrown back at you that you lied. So be strong and honest and you will both leave with your self respect.
2007-10-19 10:55:23 · answer #8 · answered by arkie182 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cares about you, you can't get out of the relationship without hurting him. But you really need to be honest with him and tell him how you feel. After the sting goes away, he will appreciate your honesty.
2007-10-19 10:43:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Face it,you will hurt him if you break up with him.Just do it and get it over with.He will get over it in time.It isn't fair to you to stay with a guy you don't care about.
So you have to decide.Do you want to be miserable and stay with a guy that you are not into?Or do you hurt him so you can move on?
I think I would pick,break up with him.It would be best for both of you.
2007-10-19 10:48:07 · answer #10 · answered by jonasruxpin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋