I have been with my boyfriend for a few years but we split up 3 times at periods when he told me that he needs to play the field and was temped by other girls. I was devastated but respected his choice and tried to get over it. He then decided that he had made a mistake each time about 2 weeks after each time we split and begged me to get back with him and because he had done nothing with anyone else and was so emotionally upset at the thought of losing me I took him back wearily. The last time this happened was a year ago and we are very happy now but I have flashbacks of all the times I did not feel good enough and feel unattractive. He tells me that he loves me but I feel I hold my love back at times and am distant because Im angry with myself for taking him back when I maybe shouldnt?
2007-10-19 03:16:19 · 18 answers · asked by twat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
lose him
there is some one out there for you who will make you feel really good, this guy is only using you...so,
lose him
2007-10-19 03:19:12 · answer #1 · answered by Taz 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
That's a fairly typical response to on-again, off-again relationships. What I find is sad about it is you took him back out of pity after his actions toward you. You must be a glutton for punishment.
Now, there's two things you must understand, most men will behave much like children, and don't learn a lesson if they can get away with it. He now thinks that he can do whatever he wants and you will forgive him for it each time as if nothing happened. The second thing is you chose to let him take advantage of you in the first place.
I'm not trying to say you should definitely break up with him, but what I would expect is for you to be decisive, making your own choice on how to proceed. It's quite possible that this will be a cycle, just waiting for the next round. It's up to you to determine the outcome if it is. It's also possible that he's done with it, but you must ask yourself what you're willing to put up with.
Whatever path you take, I wish you luck.
2007-10-19 10:29:34 · answer #2 · answered by Gray 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the past is the past and though it may pop up and bite us in the rear every once in a while it's also good to let it go and just live forward. Look to what you can do to make your relationship better and livelier. Your boyfriend must realize a good thing and he's trying to keep you. Just keep him wanting more of you. Sometimes men say things to get you to react but when you don't they get confused and now they don't know if they just messed up or what. If you care about him just love him and take care of him and do the things couples do and if it's meant to be it's meant to be. If not just move on with your life. Push forward!!
2007-10-19 10:22:34 · answer #3 · answered by level_9yo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, you are, somewhere in the back of your mind, wondering when the next time is gonna be that he leaves you to "play the feild". If your not wondering, i sure am. He didnt realize anything the first time he left cause he did it a couple more times after that, and you keep taking him back. As long as you are with him, im not sure you will get esteem back. You regret taking him back, so you leave him this time,,,,,for good.
2007-10-19 10:23:35 · answer #4 · answered by louie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
listen ****, your inner self probably knows you are stronger than you allow yourself to be and that is why there is a struggle. So far, it appears that you are allowing him to drive your life and deep down you have someone who wants to drive your life. See the struggle. So this effects your esteem and this is merly a sign of getting back on track with your essential self...the true self.
Above you mention "what he wants" "he decided" "he begged"....is this what you really want...what he wants. IF so be prepared for more let down.
2007-10-19 10:23:18 · answer #5 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds to me like your answer is in your opening line question. Dump the boyfriend and get your self esteem back in order...DUH!!! You don't need help to do badly in life. If he's pulling you down, get rid of him. You can't change him and you shouldn't change who you are just to be with him. This is your life we're talking about here, Come on, Lady...Woman up, Dammit!!!
2007-10-19 10:19:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness , why did you ever go back to this guy.
Just move on .
Something like this happened with me. He leaves me and come back again and again and again.And guess what ,its still happening.
And if you dont want to be in the same situation , leave him now before its too late.
2007-10-19 10:23:44 · answer #7 · answered by void 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a jerk. I would want to kick him in the balls, not kiss him. So he went out looking for new women, and when he didn't find one, he came back to you like you were his last resort??
Yes, you need to take control over your life and expect better!!! It is better to be alone, than to be with someone who uses you. In fact, I would love to see his face when you tell him you need to play the field, so he needs to get lost.
Where is that woman power? Where is that woman who refuses to settle? I know she is in there.
2007-10-19 10:21:09 · answer #8 · answered by lefttheroom222 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a very important factor in any relationship, and that appears to have been frayed at best. if you feel you can eventually trust him again, then stick with the relationship.
Otherwise, move on - there may be a better person out there.
2007-10-19 10:19:10 · answer #9 · answered by uee385 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
look if you were happier without him i say get rid of him and get back in the game! Or just try to make each other laugh share stories then at least you'll be a little bit happier and mabye you might start to love him again. = )
2007-10-19 10:21:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you 2 should talk about it...just make sure he knows that you don't necessarily want to break up, you just want to find out what you are actually feeling and that you are confuzed..i.f he loves you he will understand and try to figure out how to get rid of these feelings,let him know that you want him to commit and not run off to another girl just because she catches his eye at the time...hope i could help <3 Serenity
2007-10-19 10:23:10 · answer #11 · answered by serenity l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋