a question only for strong Jehovah Witnesses to answer, please....if two teens date, is this wrong?

Question

i have always pretty much been a Jehovah's Witness, but about 2 months ago, i became a much stronger one and began going to the meetings, having a private session, and studying on my own. you see, i prayed to Jehovah God every night for guidance and to help me. well, i met this guy who said he prayed for guidance, but he prayed for someone or something to help him...and a couple days or the next day, he met me, and wow, hes a Jehovah Witness and i am too, and its just wow, ya know? he said when he first saw me, there was something inside him telling him to get to know me...so he got my number, and we started chatting tho, but on the comp. well, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and i said yea. well, we're dating now, and we've chatted a lot, and well, he really loves me, and according to half of the statements it says about love in my young people ask book, its tru that he loves me, and i personally think that as we spend more time together, it'll only get stronger. we have both

agreed to follow Jehovah's principles, like no sex before marriage and et cetera. well, he believes that Jehovah brought us together. i believe that too, but do u think that maybe Jehovah brought us together in to being friends and nothing more? cuz like i like this guy, but he likes me more than i like him. well, i see no harm in dating we date "healthily" like we follow Jehovah's ways and such. In 1 Thessalonians 4:4 it says "get possession of his own vessel in sanctification and honor" and that means to learn to cope with sex desires during the bloom of youth. i personally see no harm in dating this guy, despite that fact we are teens. im 15 hes 16. well, he said he thinks he is doing the right thing because Jehovah has answered his prayer. well, but what about this? Jehovah also said that dating is not for fun or to be pressured into. we need to date when we are ready to marry. see all the contradictions? please help me out if you are a true believer in Jehovah God!

Answer 1

If the teenagers are both baptized Christians, are both mature (spiritually, physically, emotionally), are both prepared for marriage and possible parenthood (financially, emotionally), then perhaps they are not wrong to date even at 15 or 16 years of age. Of course, they would have to live under a government which permitted marriage at 15 or 16 years of age (since dating by Christians is with a view to marriage).

Additionally, a minor Christian recognizes that he (or she) cannot date without the permission of his family head. A spiritually mature Christian also considers how his decisions may influence other young people, or be viewed in his congregation and community.

Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/20050522a/article_01.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/20041015/article_01.htm

Answer 2

I am so proud of you for working on strengthening your relationship with Jehovah. That is very important. By your study of the Bible, you will be able to train your perceptive powers to distinguish both right and wrong. If you are "dating" properly, that means you will ALWAYS have a chaperon with you, never an exception. This is simply a protection for you. Remember that our hearts can be treacherous. Even when we want to do what is right, sometimes we can make mistakes that we will regret for a lifetime.

Also, if this boy really "loves" you, he will wait for you until you are older. Look at the example of Jacob and Rachel. He waited 7 years for her.
Since you have been reading the YPA book on the subject of dating, you no doubt have also read Chapter 31, "How Do I Know If It’s Real Love?" This would be a very good one to go over. It will give you some serious things to think about.

You are so young, enjoy your youth. It is OK spending time getting to know this young brother, but do it in a group setting. That gives you the opportunity to see how he treats other people.

Continue to pray to Jehovah for guidance, and don't be upset if the information you find out isn't what you wanted to hear.

One more thing, the person you are as a 15/16 years old is not the person you will be at 25. The person you are at 25 will be different from who you will be at 35....and so on. We are all constantly growing and changing. Our tastes change our interestes also change. As you mature, you may decide that this person is not the right one for you, so give it time. When I think about the brother who I was "so in love with" at age 16, I can't even imagine being married to him right now. The brother I did marry is nothing like who I thought I would marry, he is much better. :0)

Answer 3

Where are your parents? Are they allowing you to date at 15?

The problem with being in the "bloom of youth" you don't always understand the difference between love and desire.
Dating is for marriage. Can he at 16 support a wife? Does he have a job, a car, a place to live other than his parents?

Are you willing to date this guy at least three more years until your old enough to get married? Are you willing to hurt him if someone else comes along that you like better? Dating is not a game and someone usually gets hurt in the process.

One experience I had: I dated a guy when I was 19 and he was 22. He told me he loved me and asked me to marry him after dating one month, and that was long distance. I was shocked. I told him no at that time, because even though I liked him a lot, I wasn't in love with him. We dated long distance for two years, then broke it off, because he wasn't ready to get married. He did want to date again after two years, but I was over him by then and didn't want to go through all the ups and downs again. I always questioned if we truly loved each other or did we just have a strong attraction to each other? It's hard to know, it takes time and maturity to know for sure.

Answer 4

The person you are at 15, is not going to be the same at 20 or 25; the key is to be past the bloom of youth, and to be spiritually mature. Same goes for him! Went through the same thing: glad I didn't get married till 25, cause the man I am now, wasn't the boy I was at 18 or 21!

Answer 5

15 and 16?
I would advise that you continue friends, definitely. As far as bf/gf, I can't really say. However, I can suggest that if you continue to see each other, make sure you're in controlled settings (go roller skating, bowling, see a movie with 7 or 8 other friends, you know). That way your relationship can develop without the pressure you might feel if you were isolated.

Oh yeah, and go out in field service 2gether, that shouldn't hurt any.

BTW, if you really aren't doing anything wrong, see what your parents think of your relationship. If they approve and everything still goes well, I s'pose you can take it from there.

Answer 6

If you two are only 15 and 16 years old, and you have been studying, then you know dating is for the soul purpose of finding a mate. You are far too young to be contemplating marriage. Remain friends and see what happens. Stay in a group setting!

Answer 7

Young lady, I hate to say this, but you guys need to cool things down for now. Just be friends. If the boy truly loves you, he will wait. You are both way too young to be dating. I would say give it two years at least. I know this is tough, I've been there before. I was secretly engaged when I was 16, but thankfully we broke it up before it went too far. Jehovah wants you to be happy, but he also expects you to live your life by his guidelines. Talk to your parents about this, they can give you the guidance you need.

Answer 8

There is no contradiction.

This person you known for only a month likely does not own a car, a house, and a job that can support you now and into the future.

Since these are the most basic of needs to support a family and wife there is no need to date yet.

It will take many years for him to get to that level. And in that time you can learn who he is. The bible shows that love is a product of time. Did not Jacob work for seven years to get Rachel?

Answer 9

My niece got pregnant when she was 15 by a fellow JW, so you have to be very careful. Tell your parents about your feelings so that they can watch you, and understand that at your age you have "raging hormones" that could affect your good judgment. Do not spend time alone together. Continue to pray for guidance and emotional strength.

Answer 10

It would be best if you just stayed a young girl for as long as you can. Adult romance seems fun and exotic, but there is nothing more special than your young years. Be a kid for as long as possible. you will not be sorry.

I will have to agree with all of my Witness friends.