I recently left my verbally and emotionally abusive husband. I have been living in a women’s home for the past week with my two year old son. His sister has constantly called around different homes looking for me, but mainly for my son. She has even gone as far as e-mailing the center where I’m at in an attempt to blame me for taking away his son. Of course, I cannot discuss location and so she doesn’t know the exact place where I am. I have had little contact with my husband and none with her. I found this out from my case manager. I am really mad because it is none of her business first of all, and she believes everything her little brother tells her. The whole family is in denial about his behavior. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is there any action I can take? Can they try to take action against me? The courts would eventually find out I am living in a home for domestic violence, so would it be in my favor?
Please respond in a nice manor as I’m a confused woman r
2007-10-19 02:17:14 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sadly most family members refuse to believe their son or daughter would be violent to family members. He is crying on their shoulder and they are listening.
But you did the right thing and sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing to do. Don't listen to the family members and especially his family. Do what they say because now he will be even more violent. Move at least 3 states away and change your name or you will have them on your door step harrasseing you from now on. Get a legal divorce. Then leave.
2007-10-19 02:22:49 · answer #1 · answered by Steven 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't make any contact with either of them without talking to an attorney first. If you have any proof of abuse it will definitly be in your favor. You are doing what is right for your child and that is all that matters. Don't worry about anything until you have to. I know easier said than done, but worrying won't help the situation. Is there anyone where you are staying that can give you good advice on where to go from here legally? Maybe some of the others have been through it before and can tell you what to do. Good Luck to you!
2007-10-19 02:24:14 · answer #2 · answered by = ) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to justify your actions to anyone especially one of his family. If he's like that, you need to remember, she will be like that too. Don't allow this woman contact with you or your son. If you truly believe this is the best avenue for yourself and your son, then let the shelter help you.
And when he sweet talks you into going back to him, remember that he will be nice for a while but without professional help(and maybe not even then), there is no chance that things will change except to get more violent. He is not the exception to the rule and the more he doesn't feel he can control you, the more violent he will get. You have an opportunity here, please take it and run.
2007-10-19 03:34:58 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did what was right for you and your child. The only thing you can do from here is get a restraining order on the sister in law and husband. They can try to take action, but what judge wouldn't agree with what you have done. Who cares where you are living. The court isn't going to. They are going to realize that you are only there because you fear for you and your child. You will eventually find a home you will be safe in. Good luck. =)
2007-10-19 02:25:27 · answer #4 · answered by Krissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry you've found yourself in this situation and i hope things work out for the BEST for you and your child.
Your sister in law seems very controlling and has stuck her nose in where it does not belong. You can't stop her, but you can realize that she is not a part of your marital problems. You might stop allowing her actions to control your emotions... because there is nothing she can do about YOUR issues or her brother's. It's none of her business.
Your husband's actions are not his family's problem either. Your husband CHOSE to be abusive, and it's his issue.
If you have witnesses to his abusive ways, perhaps talk to these people (friends, your family?). You might need them in court.
Also, if you have access to a therapist hon, please take advantage of this type of help. Righy now you are emotionally hurting and coupld probably use someone to talk with, who is neutral -- and the help wouldnt hurt either.
Your case manager might be able to help you with a therapist.
I hope it works out.
2007-10-19 02:38:01 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing exactly what you need to do to protect yourself and your son. Your husband's family isn't going to believe that he could do something so terrible so you are just going to have to face losing them also. The fact that you are in a protected home for women in your situation is going to keep them from being able to harm you, physically and I'd hope legally. Don't try to convince them of your innocence and your husband's guilt because they are incapable of believing you. They are family first. Would you be able to believe your son could do such a thing when he grows up? Just stay firm and drop contact with them all together. They are not helping your situation.
2007-10-19 02:26:02 · answer #6 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes that would be in your favor. You are not a drug head (I hope) you don't abuse your kid (I hope not) and you are running from an abusive relationship. The courts would most likely rule in your favor. Anyway you might need to go to the police and fill out a report keeping him away from you. Go live with your family for a while and see how that works. Get a restraining order on him and his family.
2007-10-19 02:23:31 · answer #7 · answered by level_9yo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what you did was a great idea!! You dont want your son seeing his daddy talk to his mommy like that! Hes at such a young age and he is like a sponge plus, I doubt that his dad is gonna change (sorry to say) but i think that maybe you should think about getting a divorse from him! You dont deserve to be talked down like that. NO ONE DOES! And esp. from someone that u honored to love! So i think you did the right thing 100% and for the annoying sister-in-law, dont worry about her, let her have her lilwalk in attention and it will get old to her after a while. It doesnt matter what his family says. And if you were to go to court for your son, they will see that you husband dont deserve your son and mostly likely give him to you. Plus your the "mommy" more then 90% of judges give kids to the mothers!!
Good luck!
keep me undated if u'd like
email is
Paigemarie545@yahoo.com
Paige
2007-10-19 02:26:49 · answer #8 · answered by Paige M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not confused, you know exactly what you should be doing and you are doing it! No one goes into a women's shelter for nothing! Sounds like your sister in law has a little of your husband's blood in her! :-) Follow your heart, get off this dirt road and on to one that is paved for a beautiful future. I am sure the shelter can assist you with your questions. Good luck to you and congratulations on not staying in a bad situation. God Bless you and your family!
2007-10-19 02:23:57 · answer #9 · answered by joni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, there are some stupid people out there. Some are so stupid they actually believe that a woman would move into a domestic abuse women's rescue center just to get attention or something like that.
Just do what you need to do to get away from this evil man, and get on with your life. As tough as it is, don't worry about what this man or his family thinks of you.
2007-10-19 02:21:46 · answer #10 · answered by ZCT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋