Here's the situation. I've been with this gorgeous and kind Italian guy. We have been together for 3.5 years--long distance. Spent 2-3 months in a year with him, loved his family and him. Problem is I live in Asia and can't find work there. He has not proposed yet. We both love each other but I do the heavy lifting in the relaitonship, shuttling back and forth to europe...paying for the euro costs.Should I stay with him or should I leave him--any one sees a future here?
2007-10-18 18:54:45 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Can't one of you move?
Love should mean more than any type of career..
2007-10-18 18:58:10 · answer #1 · answered by flowerchild 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, if it were me, the first few months of doing all the heavy duty work would be fine...hey, if it's for the person who makes you happy, no biggie right? but then, too much is sometimes exactly -- too much. :) You could say that you have the better ways and means to fly back and forth and that you are rolling in money but i think it's your boyfriend's turn to be all gallant and do something extraordinary. It's not that you are asking for anything in return for all the time and money you've spent...but i think it's only fair that he should be the one to do the shuttling back and forth! It doesn't matter if you had a great time and that his family treated you awesome when you visited there coz fact is, he could also experience the same thing with you and your family here in asia :D
There are a lot of times when we'd give our soul for the person we love but honey, when you start thinking and feeling that it's all you, you and you...there's something terribly wrong about this relationship. I'm not saying leave the guy...i'm saying open up the topic; the possibility of him visiting you this time so that you could show him a part of you in your hometown.
if he gets all whack about it --- start considering another relationship with somebody who absolutely thinks you're worth everything and then some.
I hope i have helped you. if you have follow up questions..feel free to ask me! :)
2007-10-18 19:07:42 · answer #2 · answered by missmusic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to do all the work? What is his deal? If you mean so much to him then he would be doing some of the traveling. Ask him up front, be honest. You may be very surprised at his answer. The other thing is the issue of you moving. Is that possible? Even if the job you find there isn't perfect at first something else may come up. Goo Luck
2007-10-18 19:02:51 · answer #3 · answered by hawthorne354 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave! 3.5 years and you are w/him a few months out of the year. Sorry to be harsh but he probably has a few others who think the same as you. If you are in love, why don't you propose to him instead and see what happens. Love conquers all! But most people believe what they want to belive cause they don't want to deal with the truth and in the end waste their lives. Good luck to you...
2007-10-18 19:00:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should NOT GO there again. STAY HOME! This gorgeous and kind Italian guy sounds like the 'kind' that will use you up and let you pay until he finds another long distance relationship.... YOU HAVE NO FUTURE WITH HIM. You sound like a very nice person... find another.
2007-10-18 19:07:55 · answer #5 · answered by Mal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If one of you cant move, you need to both do as much traveling back & forth as you can. dont let work get in the way of a 3 and a half year relationship.
2007-10-18 19:02:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like your the one doing the effort. Travelling back and fort. Why not make a hint that you want to settle down with him, If he does not like the idea, i'd say GO. There's more better man for you. Who would be willing to travel for you.
2007-10-18 19:07:16 · answer #7 · answered by freya vida 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he hasn't proposed or anything and it has been 3.5 years and your doing all the work and its long distance...let him go!
2007-10-18 18:59:49 · answer #8 · answered by Caryn B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not likely. It's interesting that he is great with you being so far away for so long. That, in and of itself, is circumspect.
At most, he is lazy in this relationship. At "most likely," he's not that invested in it. Talk to him about this gross imbalance. If he is not receptive to change, move on to someone more willing to pull his weight.
2007-10-18 18:58:52 · answer #9 · answered by Gauffsa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should do something for you as well. he should visit you in asia. its not fair that you have to do everything. sounds like hes taking advantage of you. tell him to give a little, or else leave him
2007-10-18 19:04:30 · answer #10 · answered by bluestar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure he's not living a double life??? it just sounds strange that you are the one doing all the traveling.
2007-10-18 18:59:00 · answer #11 · answered by Marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋