What can I do to clam myself down and relieve stress?

Question

My brother constantly is antagonizing me, my mother
is always putting me through guilt-trips to make me clean
and my dad well he doesnt like me at all because he 1. thinks i am
not really his daughter and 2. i am not into sports, so he doesnt care about me.
I always try and calm down by talking to internet friends or watching tv, sometimes
relaxing in the bath, but it doesnt ever work. i spend most of my time sleeping just so
i wont have to deal with any of them. What can I do to feel more relaxed and stress-free?
All I want is some tips, meditation maybe? I don't really know, but all I want to feel
is calm, relaxed and not like I want to cry.

Answer 1

Sounds like an interesting family. Here's a few things to help with stress:

1. Try relaxing and then tensing and relaxing again each muscle group. starting with your feet, while lying down.

2. Try taking up an easy hobby that people get passionate about--I knit, because no one will ever object to it, and it is fun. Knitters are great people too, and it's a productive activity.

3. Try volunteering somewhere to get yourself out of the house. If you like little kids, you could tutor for 1-2 hours each afternoon at an afterschool program, for example.

4. Go through your wardrobe and mix and match it for new outfits. Change your makeup. Listen to a new kind of music.

Try to incorporate at least one or two of these things in your schedule at least 3 times a week. Give yourself something to look forward to that doesn't cost a mint or draw negative attention in any way.

Good luck, and I hope this helps!

Answer 2

Hi Honey. I have very bad mood swings and I get quite depressed at times for no reason at all. I know how you feel!! Try a good, physical sport. I do karate and it's brilliant for calming me down. It also gets you out of the house and gives you a whole new world that is yours only because there's no family and no immediate friends there. It's your secret place or organisation that's completely away from everything else. Plus, exercise releases endorphins that would otherwise make you miserable.
I know when you're really down, it can be hard to get up and go somewhere because you only want to mope. But if you can muster the motivation, you'll feel a whole lot better.
Also, try to be positive about everything. I know that can be hard at times but if you try to let it all roll off your back, you'll be a lot happier. Don't dwell on the cr@p. It's just sh!t and not worth upsetting you!

Answer 3

I think you are attacked by the 'following a sedentary life' fever. I think you should sweat out and relax

- do some kind of interesting sport or do some jogging for a few miles with your friends every day.
- After that take a small nap.( an hour ).

If you do these, then all those stressful events will seem like nothing. You might even end up enjoying it, because they are no more a trouble but you have mastered to beet them.

Answer 4

You came up with your own best answer--meditation! I don't know what part of the country you are in, but you can look in the yellow pages for meditation or look online and find someone locally who can show you meditation techniques. You will be glad you did, because you will use meditation for the rest of your life.

I know things seem bad right now. The truth is, even after you've left home, every person's life contains a cycle of good days and bad days, happy circumstances and unhappy circumstances. So you will need some destressing techniques.

Here's one site: www.tm.org

Answer 5

Sounds too much like my girlfriend. And I spend a lot of time at her house, so I think I know exactly how you're feeling... All except I'm not you. So, one... I think you should constantly ignore your brother. I know everyone says "just ignore them" or whatever, but I mean blatantly ignore him, to the point where it seems cruel, even if he's being nice. I don't really know what the deal with your mom is, but if it's a mess you have some part in, such as she cooks dinner, you should be respectful of the fact that she is feeding you and at least clean up after dinner. Also, if it's your room, thats not really a problem, just pick up things here and there, don't make an all day event out of it. As for your dad, I don't know how pig-headed he is, but I think you should try and sit him down and talk to him. Something along the lines of, "Look, "Dad", I know we have some oddities between us, but we do live under the same roof and to me you are a kind of father figure... And I would really like it if I just had a male figure to come to as a father, even if you dont want to accept me as a daughter. We live under the same roof, and are a part of the same family, so for better reasons, can we please try to act like we like each other?" And if you don't like that then think of something else, but I really think you should talk to him. All of that aside, I would honestly, highly recommend meditation. A lot of eastern customs, and ways of life are very relaxing. Take a martial art. Your father might recognize it as a sporting activity, and youll get out. Also engage in meditation. Try sitting on the ground, legs however you like, but traditionally its left over right. Then tighten all your muscles as best you can and breathe deeply. Then let it all out in one breath and loosen up and sit there silently. Music also helps, anything without lyrics or too much of a combination of sounds. Download some asian drumming or anything tribal of the sorts. While youre sitting, close your eyes and picture the flame of a candle, it also helps to have an actual candle if you dont want to close your eyes. Stare at the center of the flame and look for the "black flame" ....when you find it youll become calm and youll find meditating very easy. Also! If there is an asian mart near you, go and try to find some authentic green tea, the kind that actually looks like deep green water when you brew it, not the crap they have in a super market. Tea really helps to calm you down. But, all of that is my suggestion, sorry if its so long.

Answer 6

it calms people down when they go out with friends.
you need to be in a quiet place by yourself. no music
NOTHING just some quite alone time. Try to find books
that interest you so that you can read that in your quiet
time. Create space for something new. Organizing your life is like organizing your closet. You want to put things you vaule the most in the front and toss the rest. Do this try to make time like less sleeping and do new things, like yoga dance or whatever just do something you like. Downsize your worries. Toss more mental trash keep all that yucky thoughs out of you mind.

Hope this helps[:

Answer 7

Lavender is supposed to have a calming effect..it helps me. Spray some on your pillow. At least you're not getting into a fist fight with your family. Maybe you could write what you feel on paper...then tear it up. ..and tell yourself when you tear it up, you're tearing up all the stress and throwing it away. (just an idea) Pay attention to your body "tightening up" and consciously make it relax. Sometimes I'm tensed up and don't even notice it. Then, once I'm aware of it..I can relax. There's a name for doing that..but I'm sorry I can't remember what it's called.
EDIT..try to do something creative that will make you feel good about yourself. (Don't become a boy for your Dad..but maybe you could play girl softball with him)

Answer 8

what works for me is a long walk. Whenever I am in the state that I cannot shift as I may have things on my mind, its sometimes difficult to find a good thing that works. Exercise instatntly shifts your state of mind for starters. If you go for a long walk, think about the things in your life that are bothering you, and then on the walk home picture yourself walking away from your troubles. - It really does work. If nothing else, the stress will have eased just because you have burned up the energy.

Answer 9

Im so sorry you are going through all that. I remember being yong and feeling the way you do. Things will get better as you get older and leave the house. I will send you some great links to some meditation and yoga sites. I use meditation for stress relief and it works wonders.
FEEL BETTER
Peace
GG

Answer 10

I usually breathe slowly and attempt to clear my mind. Notice I said attempt. Meaning that I hardly ever succeed. The times that I indeed do not succeed, I just think, there are people who have it worse than me out there. It's kind of more of a negative thing, but sometimes it really does help.
You could also try to find a hobby or interest to keep you busy. Engaging your mind in something other than just your problems and trying to relax will definitely improve your mood.