Have you ever held someone who was dying in your arms?

Question

If you are an atheist or agnostic, did you have any words of comfort to offer? If you are Jewish, what words were you able to offer that gave comfort? If you are Christian, what words of comfort were you able to offer?

People - this has turned out to be the best question I've ever asked. I had no idea how many hearts might be touched by it. Thank you, every single one of you. For me, it was my own mother, too. I held her in my arms and I, too, remembered how they say even after the heart stops, our loved ones can hear for a time. What an amazing thought. I held her and I sang every song of the Lord that I knew. "Jesus loves you this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak but He is strong." "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I'm found, was blind, but now I see." "Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. Glory glory halllelujah, glory glory hallelujah, glory glory hallelujah, His truth is marching on." Thank you again....for your humanness and your love. It is that...which is amazing and full of grace.

I have no right or reason to choose a "best answer" here. It's personal - to each one of you - what you said. No one was best. All were real. I thank each one of you. To the fireman: If I had to choose a best answer, I'd have to say my biggest thanks to you - for putting your words on here. I guess you must know all too well how much respect we have for you and your fellows. No more words to say.

Answer 1

How's this for "christian comfort"?
"It's god's plan..."

What???
Screw God!!! And screw his shitty plan!!!
That's no comfort.

Answer 2

Lets see,I have only had one dieing thing in my arms and that was a cat.Ok when I was going to school there was a limping cat,I went over to it to see if it was ok.It was hurt but I thought someone else would save him,so I went to school.Then I thought back and someone thought it was a raccoon.Then I realized oh crap this cat will die slowly and painfully in the cold and wet road.So I ran a good 1mile and a half back to it and pick it up with my sweatshirt in the 40 degree weather.

I took it back to my house,apparently I over heated my body by running so much my body was litterly steaming,and my mom put the cat in towels and a box and took it to the vets.They put the cat down I was told after school,it had an areno failure and looked as if it got hit plus it was old.The only words I could offer it was it was ok and that it was safe with me.Unforgently I didn't knw the extent of his injuries and the cat died when I truly believed it was going to make it,oh well.By the way I am a SPIRITUAL SATANIST.The cat looked so sad and had so much pain in its eyes.

Answer 3

I sat by my mother when she was dying this past May. She was in a coma, but I held her hand and talked to her, telling her that I loved her and that everything was taken care of, since the hospice workers advised me that hearing is one of the last senses to go, and even though she couldn't respond, she might still be able to hear me. The words of comfort I offered were not religious, although at that point in her life my mother and I shared the same faith. They were simply words of comfort and love. (EDITED TO ADD: Ms. Taurus has it exactly right.)

A few years ago, I held my beloved cat Micawber when he was euthanized due to multiple organ failure. I stroked his head and let my physical closeness bring him whatever comfort it could, and I cried like a baby.

Answer 4

Yes. I was there, I sat beside him. We had been best friends from our middle teens. I knew he was gravely ill. I was making a film in Ireland. His wife telephoned me from the States. I flew back. He was sleeping. I held his hand, I kissed his forehead. Within an hour he was gone. It was his wife who needed comforting, and my limo drove her home to Harlem where her mother and children were. The next day I went with her to Campbell's. A silver coffin. It was joyous, the funeral three days later. A wake. A jazz band, two thousand of his friends (he was a musician), and a hundred of the best people in his world speaking. I did not. Our memories were from boyhood and centered on the evils of the Jim Crow South, where we grew up.

Answer 5

I sat next to my mother while she was dying from cancer in 2002. That was the one place I didn't want to be, but God put me there to teach me something: that death was nothing to be afraid of.

As far as comforting words go, whenever I'm at a funeral for someone, I tell someone in the family to remember the good times they had with the person, and to light a candle on the person's birthday and let it burn one minute for every year of that person's life. That's what I do for my mother on her birthday.

Answer 6

as a fireman, the first charred child I held in my arms as she died is etched forever in my memory. that was over 15 years ago, I had no words of comfort then, and I still had none last week, when an elderly person jumped into my arms from 6 stories up, he too died from injuries related to the fire. I do not wish to take anything away from those who think they ease suffering, but in reality it hurts to suffer, no words change that. it doesn't matter who they come from.

Answer 7

I arrived minutes after my father was pronounced dead by paramedics in my parent's home. He was lying on the living room floor and I knelt down and lay my head on his chest and he was still warm and I said, "I love you Daddy."

Most of the stories here are so touching that tears are running down my cheeks right now. No matter what our differences are, many of us have known deep sorrow and quiet anguish. I hope we remember that at least we all have THAT in common and perhaps cut each other a little more slack from now on.

I feel close to many of you now.

Answer 8

Do kittens count?
As an agnostic I held and comforted the kitten and stayed with him until he took his last breath. I also sang songs to him (which in all reality hastened his death)
Death is inevitable yet I think it would suck to die alone. There are few words for comfort.
Unless someone is dying a slow agonizing death the thought of heaven and frolicking with Jesus does little to calm the fears of a dying person.

Answer 9

Several people actually (retired emergency worker), including my mother.
23rd Psalm is comforting
Psalm 116:15 ...
"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints."
Psalm 16 is great
1 Corinthians 15 hopeful
God's Word brings comfort to all who will hear.
To them that will not hear, their departure is agonizing.
I've even had a stroke patient (severe Stroke) accept the Lord on her death-bed. But that was 3 years ago and she's in church these days !

Answer 10

It is not about offering anything -- it is nice when people have time to come to terms with mortality and make peace with themselves.

You are still a kid that has not lost anyone close to you in life or combat.

Answer 11

My little mommy. Four years ago. She was dying of congestive heart failure and emphysema and was in ICU in a coma and I went to the hospital every day, sometimes I just slept in the lobby. The one day I went home just to grab a shower and eat a piece of bread because my stomach was one hard knot, they called me and said I better get over there right away.

Two days passed and I was still there and she was still in a coma, poised on the edge of death. I asked one of the nurses, "If she can survive this long when the doctors said she was going to die, why can't we do something to make her better?"

The nurse said, "Sometimes our loved ones are afraid to let go because they think we can't manage without them." I went back to my mom's side and lay my head down on her pillow and whispered to her. I said,

"Mom? Are you in there? I just wanted to say if you're hanging around because you're worried we won't be able to make it without you, don't give us another thought. I love you and I'll miss the hell out of you and I don't want you to go because there's soooo much more shopping to do, but ... you know how, on TV, sometimes they say to dead ghosts, 'GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT?' Well. if you look around and you see a light where you are, maybe you could go over to it and listen. And maybe you'll hear Daddy yelling at you to quit goofin' around and get your butt up there. And if you did, I'll take over and take care of everybody, if you want to go."

Suddenly, she began to have a seisure. I took her frail little body in my arms and held her and cried and cried and kept saying, "It's okay. It's okay," and within a minute, she passed away. I kissed her head and went home.

Sorry. I gotta go now.
.