Im worried about it cause i need a final count of guests for my wedding. They never rsvp and just show up. I dont want to order to many or not enough entrees for the reception. What should I do?
2007-10-18 15:55:10 · 18 answers · asked by preppygrl88@sbcglobal.net 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If I call them, wont it make them feel like Im pressuring them to attend?
2007-10-18 15:55:46 · update #1
It's your absolute right to call - if they weren't being rude, you wouldn't have to.
"Hi ___, I haven't received your RSVP to our wedding on (date), and the caterer needs a final head count by the end of the day. Will you be able to join us?"
Then, find someone who's reliable (the reception place might have someone), give them a list of people who RSVP'd "yes", and if anyone else shows up, the response is, "I'm sorry, we were told you had declined the invitation, and are unable to accommodate any more guests."
2007-10-19 03:18:57 · answer #1 · answered by ill_be_phd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is ridiculous, you have to know who is coming in advance. Tell them not RSVP-ing is not acceptable and they are being stupid, they have to RSVP. Just tell them they do need to tell you by a certain date whether they are coming or not. Sorry to say, but your mother's family is the first lot of people I have ever heard of that has a problem with RSVP-ing. It doesn't have to be complicated and formal, they can just call you or your designated person and tell them their name and who is or is not coming. Tell them if they don't RSVP, you will assume they are not coming so they need to let you know. It's not a matter of them feeling pressured, it's a matter of necessity. Tell them you can't have them just show up, it's not some shin dig, it's a wedding and you have to give numbers in advance.
2007-10-19 08:10:48 · answer #2 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel for you... I just counted everyone of the family on that side and said they would show up for the food. I didn't want to pressure them and my husband was in boot camp at the time so I just couldn't have him ask to RSVP.
If that is an option I would suggest having someone in the family gently remind them to RSVP.
Or go with my solution. It just meant the staff got to eat too!
2007-10-18 23:05:29 · answer #3 · answered by Christa K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Calling them wont make them feel like you're pressuring them to attend if you're very clear. For example saying" If you are attending I would like for you to rsvp.... But if you will not be attending I completely understand." You can also explain that you wanting to make sure that they have enough food for their enjoyment is the reason behind the rsvp request.
2007-10-18 23:09:58 · answer #4 · answered by humblepie1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You call them.
"Hey ____,
I'm just getting a head count to see who will be attending the wedding. No pressure! You don't have to let me know right now, but if you could call me back within a couple days, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks for understanding."
Some will say yes they'll be there and some will probably "forget" to call you within a couple days. That's when you call them again and just "check in" with them.
For them not to RSVP is extremely rude. Good luck :)
2007-10-18 23:09:33 · answer #5 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your wedding. You are asking for an RSVP and everyone, no matter who they are, should respect that.
Since they are relatives, then you might want to go ahead and call them but make it clear to them that you need the RSVP card to give to the wedding planners or whoever you have to give the head count to.
2007-10-18 23:01:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would contact them and say that they havent RSVP'd and you are getting the final numbers for who's attending, if they can't commit then assume they aren't coming and if they do turn up, they just miss out. Maybe then they might RSVP in the future. This is your wedding, not theres.
2007-10-18 23:01:10 · answer #7 · answered by Monkey007 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem, so I made it sound that the reception facility needed to know what each guest was eating. The rsvp had space for their name and dinner selection. I'm sure they'll want to eat what they want for the party.
2007-10-18 23:43:24 · answer #8 · answered by Lyla 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they don't RSVP consider that they arn't coming, and if you can't accommodate them this is their fault. Thats why there is RSVP and a date.
Call them if you want or get someone in the family to let them know they if they don't tell you, you won't expect them to be there.
2007-10-19 00:37:27 · answer #9 · answered by Stiffler 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't matter if it seems like you're pressuring them to come to your wedding. Do they not like your intended spouse? Do they have a reason not to attend? Simply say, "I've not received an RSVP yet so I wanted to make sure you wanted to be included." If they don't want to be or don't answer, don't include them.
2007-10-18 23:20:17 · answer #10 · answered by nelgin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋