Boyfriend of 3 years who takes me for granted?

Question

Ok here goes... I have been with a boy for 3 years, its been rocky cause its been long distance on and off i moved away from home to be with him which was really hard and he doesnt even act like he cares. In the past 2-3 months he is barley there his new friends are more important and he says he cares but doesnt show it but in the past i have been very clingy and its been better latley but im dying...he knows i was with someone else while i was not here and he had broken up with me but what was i supposed to do sit around with hopes he would take me back...so he found out recently and now uses it against me at every chance he syas he wants to try nad get past it and things will be good for a few days then the weekend comes na di get ditched cuz his friends are more important he will let me down any day but not them... is this just becuz he doesnt care or cuz he just thinkgs i wont leave him...he doesnt take me seriously at all if i tell him im leaving he just says ok...and it hurts bad

Answer 1

LEAVE HIM!!!! He is not interested. You should find someone who is.

Answer 2

I've been in this situation for a long time. You know your boyfriend is taking advantage of you, which means you need to wake up and break up with him. There is nothing you can do to change the situation or make him suddenly appreciate you like he probably once did. He figures that you won't leave him, so he can treat you any type of way.

Have confidence and take a stand. You deserve better and you don't need to be disrespected. BUT, you need to realize that for yourself.

Answer 3

the reason he says ok when u say u r leaving is because u have said it before and then either not left or come back eventually. he sounds like a jerk to me. i mean, he tells u your not as important as his friends. that may be true for everyone where there friends are more important that their boy/girlfriend but we dont go tellin everyone. i know u care about him and maybe even love him but it sounds like from your description that he doesnt care about u-or doesnt know how to show it. either way, u need to get rid of this guy. u need someone who is loving and kind and definetely does NOT take u for granted!

Answer 4

I think you need to try and tell him how you feel. If things don't change you might want to consider moving back home. If he forgave you for the indiscretion then he shouldn't throw it in your face. The fact that he puts his friends before you pretty much shows his lack of concern. You definitely need to talk with him if not BOUNCE. Good luck.

PS---I know it hurst now but you will feel so much better in the long run and longer in life if you get rid of an unhealthy relationship early, it's been three years and if you are this miserable it's time to reexamine things.

Answer 5

Your right... he doesn't take you seriously. It sounds like he really doesn't care one way or the other whether you stay or leave.

I have to jump out on a limb here... because I have seen it so many times with my friends and such... If you have any kind of sexual relationship with him, he is more than likely only seeing that as important. Its not you, its only part of you. Welcome to guys. I am one so I can tell you for certain how it works. Guys are simply driven for one purpose. Jeff Foxworthy says it best with " We only have one real thought and thats - I want a beer and I want to see something nekked".

If he is getting what he wants you are important. If he doesn't, he knows that he will find someone else to provide it. By the sounds of it he is not even remotely dedicated to you and he gets grouchy when he can't claim ownership and trys to degrade you to make himself feel better. Tough crap to him. You deserve better. Respect is what makes the world go around and he is not giving you your due.

Take pride in yourself and drop him like a bad habit and find someone that really does care for you and has YOU in their best interest, not the playground that you carry around with you. Its to be shared and not disrespected...

Good luck...

Answer 6

I didn't even bother to read this book. The answer is obvious from your question. You wouldn't be here asking this if he was worth keeping. Sounds like it's time to dump him and move on to someone who appreciates you more. If you really love the guy, talk to him and see if he'll change, but don't wait too long for it to happen. That's how you get stuck for ten years in a bad relationship. Don't let it happen to you! Good luck!

Answer 7

I don't think anything is going to change, if that's what you're waiting for. If he lets you down now,what do you think is going to happen in the near future. I would get out of there ASAP before things start to get ugly. If you stay it's going to be harder for you to leave him. It sounds like a dependancy thing and not love. You're going to have trust issues. Everytime he goes out or comes late you're gonna think he was out cheating on you. Don't put up with uneccesary bull.You deserve better.

Answer 8

Well, if you're telling him your leaving and he's not concerned then I would do just that and move on. It sounds as if he has made his choice about the relationship by picking his friends over you. You were entitled to see someone else while you were separated so he has no right to hold this against you, it's an excuse on his behalf.

Answer 9

i totally understand where your coming from...i had a similar experience with my ex-boy. if i were you i'd be so mad that someone would treat me like that, i would confront him about it, and say "hey we've been together for 3 years doesn't that mean anything to you?!" obviously he doesn't seem to think so, if he'd rather be with his new friends. if you've been trying to work things out for this long and it hasn't worked out, then you really need to let him go. Don't let anyone take over your life like that. Don't waste years with someone who treats you so bad. If he cares, he'll come back to you once you get up and move on.

Answer 10

Dump him and then you will never have to worry about him taking you for granted. Obviously, you are too good for him. Give him the boot and fine someone who is looking for a nice girl like yourself. You are just sitting and wasting time with this person. Time to move on

Answer 11

OK, just reading your main sentence made me think, what is the problem here?! Do you have to even ask?! Dump him. If he really loved you it wouldn't be like this. And if you really loved him you wouldn't of been with someone else. trust me honey, you are probably young, which means you will have plenty of time to find someone that is worth more effort than him, and I am sure that you are worth more to someone else!!