Signs of depression or something deeper?

Question

So last year I lost SEVEN loved ones while I was pregnant. I usually drink to numb the pain but since I was pregnant, I couldn't. Alhough I was sad, I never reacted the way I think I should have. Anyway I have since gained 40 pounds afer having my baby. I used to party and still would like to but it seems as though my "friends" choose not to hang out with me anymore. I'm thinking it's cause I'm fat. My attitude has definately changed for the better. I'm not judgemental cause I know how short life is. I know I need to find someone to talk to but I can't afford that now because I just lost my job and don't plan on going back to work for a while. PLEASE tell me your thoughts and suggestions. Thanks! I appreciate it!

Answer 1

First, sorry for your losses. And congrats on the newborn!!! Now to address the issues. It's a good thing that you couldn't drink - for it is never the answer - especially for dulling pain. Thrust me, it really could lead to bigger problems. As far as the weight, ask your friends what are their issues with you (if any). If they are shunning you due to weight gain, then you may need to evaluate the friendships. Kinda of that "long handle of the spoon" technique. Also, I feel that you really need to evaluate your emotions and truly be honest with yourself. If you need help, there are programs that should be able to assist you with little to no money. But, you definitely need to act, because unfortunately this problem will not go away. Do it for yourself and your child. Also, there are grief support groups (on-line and possibly in your area) that can help - especially for new Mothers. Good luck.

Answer 2

I highly suggest you call a local hospice and ask them about a grief support group in your area. These groups are often free. Explain the the hospice social worker what you are going through. Even if your seven loved ones didn't use their services they are often very helpful in finding you grief counseling.

I doubt your friends avoid you due to weight. It may be the way your personality has changed or perhaps they don't know what to say. Or they could feel they have less in common with you now that you are a mother.

Do not drink to numb your pain alcohol is a depressant so it will aggravate any depression you may be having.

If you can afford to party then you need to go see a doctor for some medication for your depression. There are low cost and free clinics for people who need financial assistance.

Due to your significant loss you may have PTSD type symptoms as well. You might try educating yourself through searches on the web about PTSD symptoms.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I really can't imagine. I lost two people this past year and have needed help with my grief.

Answer 3

There are ways to get therapy if you really need it even if you're not working. A lot of states have health programs for people in your situation check them out you might need a health program for something else also. Especially since you have a new born if you feel that you need to talk to someone than find someone and do so. It will be best for you and the baby and that's what you have to be concentrating on now taking care of yourself so that you can take care of the baby.

Answer 4

I think you need to tell this to a professional therapist and your doctor. No price is too much, and most communities provide therapy for free or cheap for those in need. I highly recommend that you look into this. This is too big for a bunch of Yahoos here to help with, and it is likely too big for you to handle alone. Don't sit around waiting to get better, because it won't work. Get up and do something right away! You can start by talking to your doctor. Good luck!

Answer 5

I would say it is postpartum depression along with grief of losing your loved ones. There are free places to go for these situations...and you NEED it! You and your child deserve it! Please contact a local help line or something. I think you can dial 211 on your phone. Good luck! And know that God Loves You!