Why are people parents when they don't deserve to be parents?

Question

Just because a person is equipped physically to make a baby, it doesn't mean that they are equipped mentally or emotionally to do it. Having money does not automatically make a person a good parent...this question is not about money or education levels... (and yes i know i posted this once before, but i wanted some more opinions on this subject)

i'd prefer sterilizing anyone who has been in jail three times or more and who have been on welfare for more than a year. after those two things become a success, we can discuss more "arbitrary" standards to deal with this issue.

pilar....if you can't be responsible for yourself or your own well-being, how can you be responsible for someone else?

ghetto princess: welfare is a touchy subject and there will always be exceptions to any rule. people who are truly disabled deserve all the help they can get. this statement was more aimed at the families who lives for generations on welfare and NEVER work....they just have more kids to get more money... so, don't call me ignorant when you can't even look at the bigger picture.

Answer 1

If only it was legal to sterilize some people...

Answer 2

Sterilize people who are on welfare for more then a year? You sound unbelievably ignorant when you say this. My mom (shes disabled) divorced my dad when I was young and we had to be on welfare for a year or two because she couldn't make a decent living. So she should be sterilized for that? Being on welfare DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PARENT. She raised me better then most of the kids in this town. I was always taken care of and showed plenty of love when I was growing up. If you don't know the situation then it is none of your business as to who is on welfare. Some people just ended up in a bad situation or hit rough times and they need that money until they can get back on their feet. I don't think people should live off welfare, but I think it is great for the families that do need it. I was hurt by the comments you made and I think you sound like a red-neck when you say that. Maybe you should think a little bit more before you go saying things like this on the Internet.

Answer 3

I worked as a social worker for a few years and remember thinking the same thing to myself. But even know the parents are horrible the children are so sweet and precious. They are still gifts no matter how horrible their parents are and deserve to have a good life. I honestly think God allows some couples to be infertile so that they will adopt these little angels. Yeah, it would be nice to make some of these parents become sterile but then I look at my kids on my caseload and realize that they probably wouldn't be here, and that would be a shame.

Answer 4

Well, given the nature of how babies are made, and under which circumstances they are made, the only remedy that I can think of to your issue is to pick a set of criteria (by definition these criteria will be arbitrary) and forcefully sterilize anyone who does not meet this criteria of being a "deserving" parent, or perform forced abortions or adoptions.
Would you prefer the world we live in now, or the world you'd create?

Answer 5

Yeah, but being mentally or emotionally dysfunctional does not change the fact that a person IS physically equipped to do it. That's all there is to it. How do you stop someone from having sex? Parents have been trying to stop their kids from doing it for centuries, and have usually failed. How would you stop consensual adults from doing it? You couldn't. How would you regulate children in a free and democratic society anyway? It's impossible. I'm afraid idiots will continue to reproduce whether you like it or not!

Answer 6

Just so you know, many states here in the US actually have mandatory programs that welfare recipients must attend just to continue recieving cash assistance (and all states have a 5 yr limit....for your entire life). Families who recieve cash assistance must go to work search workshops and actively look for work and provide proof of their searches. I was on assistance at the beginning of this year after I left my husband. I busted my butt to get off of it. Found part time work within a month, and then found full time work within another month to completely be free of state assistance, other than medical for my child. No one give out free money anymore for having more babies. You are ignorant.

Answer 7

I agree with you that there are plenty of people who are parents who shouldnt be(in my opinion), and there are plenty of people who have children for selfish reasons. However, I do not htink sterilization is the answer or within our rights. I dont think we can reserve the authority to stop people from having children as sad or as worrisome as their situation may be you must accept that people make their own choices. You are always going to be able to find people who disagree with your personal choices nomatter what they are but that doesnt give them a right to keep you from making them. I DO feel bad for children born into volatile and unstable situations, and I sincerely believe that parents should not have children unless they can give them a good stable life and not have to worry about living paycheck to paycheck because that to me is irresponsible, and personally I am the type of person that when I become a parent I will be in a stable caring relationship for a good period of time, I will live in the suburbs so that my child can have a great area to live in, and I wont be in the place that Im worrying about money because thats not good for a child in my opinion. But thats just me and I realize that other parents or parents to be may feel differently and thats THEIR decision and its not my or anyone elses place to judge unless they are being grossly negligent to their kids. You have to know that yes are there people out there who shouldnt have kids or maybe just not at a specific time but you have to trust and hope that their possiby poor decision a great life may emerge. People are going to keep having children based on their own criteria and whether its right or wrong just hope either way that the individual grows to be healthy and happy.

Answer 8

jail or welfare doesnt automatically make anyone a bad parent either. who is supposed to judge the criteria for good parent anyway. and whether or not someone is a good parent shouldnt be a basis of whether they can have babies. the world is made of people from all sorts of backgrounds and cultures, and some of the best people came from terrible parents.

Answer 9

You don't have to be stable mentally or emotionally to have sex. I also know plenty of people who are mentally and emotionally equip but just have no idea how to parent.
Just how the world works. Theres faults for everything.

Answer 10

i ask myself this question almost everyday. i work with the public so i see some pretty undeserving parents. i just don't understand how someone could have a child and it not completely change their life because it sure did mine. their priorities just aren't in order and i just feel so bad for some of those children. every child deserves to be in a loving caring environment and if you can't provide that then keep it in your pants!

Answer 11

I wish I was a mother!!! Im only 19 but I want a baby sooo bad! I know Im ready emotionally and physically! But not econimically lol... But I agree I hate seeing ppl treat babies so wrong or not appreciate them and the joy they bring