Need Advice!!!!!!?
I gave my girlfriend an ultimatum to quit her sport ,which involves grappling other guys, I told her, she could continue with her other sports, but not the MMA.Her reply to this was "don't push me you will not like the outcome"... I love my girlfriend very much. I really can not take this anymore.I do not like the contact she has with other men. What do you think of this situation?
2007-10-18 15:09:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Sports ➔ Martial Arts
well, i think you should accept her grappling. after all, she isnt doing anything with them. what if someone attacked her and tried to rape her? I bet you'd be glad that she took a grappling martial art then. also, if she enjoys it, you should be ok with it. after all my girlfriend doesnt mind that i grapple with girls. or men either lol but thats different. if she enjoys it, you should be happy about that. and dont be worried, she's not really doing anything with them, just learning how to defend herself.
2007-10-18 15:26:43 · answer #1 · answered by Chizubaga! 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My ex girlfriend tried to take up some Yoga,just Yoga,and she was not happy with the creeps coming on to her.
When she came up with the idea I mentioned the possibility of this happening,(she was "Super Fine").
She told me I was wrong when I spoke up.
One week at "Yoga" and she quit and came to me and said I was right.I didn't rub it in,I just said,"I know sweetheart",and I dropped the issue.
To be fair I am in Southern CA.,so there is plenty of creeps.
But notice,"she came to me and spoke up and quit on her own"
You can just drop the whole thing & never mention it again You can tell her to "take the train",and split up.
You can take a "kick-er-size" class with a class full of women.
Or train "Very Hard" with a "purpose" others won't have,at a competing school for the next 5-10 years with hopes of picking up some skills and leveling the playing field.
BTW:Don't push me you will not like the outcome".
Is a threat.
Speaking for "myself" I do not stand still for threats.
2007-10-18 18:41:41 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your girlfriend. In my dojo there are not any women for me to grapple with so if I want to practice I have to grapple with the guys. The contact is non-sexual and everyone is respectful. Everyone is working on their technique and too busy to even think about gender. You should put your jealousy aside and be more supportive of her.
2007-10-19 03:28:32 · answer #3 · answered by Running Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is that your mind set is going to lead you into more trouble than this specific issue.
she is a person.
you dont 'have', 'own', or 'control' anyone but yourself.
just as much as she doesnt 'have', 'own', or 'control' anyone but herself.
bruce lee once said:
'from the old you derive security, from the new, you gain the flow'
I would suggest that you attempt to stop trying 'have' or 'control' her, instead i suggest you gain the flow, and either go with her or go flow somewhere else.
Why not join the class too? Crank some grappling with her, with other guys and hell with other girls too : ) it sounds like fun... ive traded moves with girls and guys from same styles and different before, its great fun.
we only have controll of ourselves, nobody can control another person if that person doesnt want to be controlled.
security is an illusion, there is only the flow : )
2007-10-18 15:41:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anytime you give anyone(with a sense of self worth) an ultimatum, you must prepare for them to tell you to buzz off. Sun Tzu said you should always give your opponent the option to withdraw. By forcing her to choose, she may choose mma.
On the other hand, is there reason for concern? Are the guys a bunch of grab *** creeps or are you the jealous type?
Either way, remember this, if you insist on dating attractive, fun girls, you have to expect guys to look, point, stare and hit on your girlfriend. She is already with you, don't give her a reason to want to trade up.
2007-10-18 15:28:04 · answer #5 · answered by Walt B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw just take the freakin classes with her, that way you can be her partner and you can grapple with her all day to your hearts content. You need to chill out and tell her how you feel about her grappling with other guys, that way you can both discuss how to deal with this issue instead of arguing about who should yield and listen to who.
2007-10-19 05:19:24 · answer #6 · answered by Shienaran 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, it isn't your girlfriend that has the problem, it's you. Are you so insecure about yourself that you take her practising her sport as a threat?
You need to do something about your confidence. Women don't like clingy possesive men, it's not manly.
You need to open up a dialogue with her, tell her that you need reassurance, but trust me when I say she will dump you if you push this. Lidy
2007-10-19 00:35:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
DUDE! she sdoing it for the luv of the sport not the guys, i bet she would still do the sport if it was a bunch of lesbins out there! dont make her choose because a boyfirend isnt always there for her but a sport is always there.
2007-10-18 15:26:47 · answer #8 · answered by AshTree 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be brutally honest, you sound like an insecure wuss. I'm not trying to insult you. I think you should probably try to watch what she does, then maybe you'll understand better.
2007-10-19 00:40:32 · answer #9 · answered by Ray H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
man grow up... hard but true... you cant control women, and the ones you can.. you dont want.... jealousy is your problem not hers and if you love her (as you say you do) you can overcome it... but somehow I think 10 years from now... you will say... "what an idiot i was" .. good luck man
2007-10-18 18:20:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋