My husband and I have some issues with our family I know who doesnt. These may seem like there are not a big deal but we feel they are. With his family his older brother had a baby 3 years ago and the little kid gets all the attention and so does the older brother and my husband and I and his younger brother get nothing. Even when my husband was growing up him and his younger brother got nothing. My husband feels nothing he does is good enough and does not like really going to see his family a lot as when we are there no one pays attention to us or really talks to us. How should we handle the problem? I know lots of other families where an emphais is not placed soley on 2 people.
2007-10-18 15:08:40 · 8 answers · asked by molldoll090206 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you should both grow up and then you will not worry about something you have no control over.
2007-10-18 15:13:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel uncomfortable around them then don't go there. make up some excuse as to why you can't make it. or just deal with it, and know that you are okay with yourself and that it is them with the problems. Don't let it get to ya, it is normal. I grew up in a family of 7 kids, and Iam the youngest and Iwill never be good enough or smart enough or anything as far as my older family members are concerned, I am the bad sheep of the pack. but little do they know that I can also do alot more then they can mechancially, yard, and home repair. I also know computers, and the ways of the streets. and also the office environments and somany other things that I have self learned. So they an bite me.
2007-10-18 22:16:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know many people with the same problem. I have a family of my own. I know this can be a big problem if you focus on it but it really isn't. Why does your husband need approval from anyone else than you and himself. He should not care about what his brothers and parents think because they don't matter. If your husband always seeks approval from someone his life will be shattered into nothing when the person he seeks approval from is dead. That's why you should only seek approval from yourself, your wife, and your children. Its a good thing that he doesn't want to see them and he probably shouldn't. His life shouldn't revolve around them. Tell him if he doesn't want to see them, he doesn't have to. Those who will only have an affect on him are the people in his heart because those who have left his heart weren't good enough to stay. You are the completion to his circle of life, ONLY you.
2007-10-18 22:21:09 · answer #3 · answered by sheakmate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. I don't think you or your husband should emphasize too much on that. Look at the bright side, you both have one another. That's all the love you need right there. My family plays favoritism as well. It bothered me for a while but now I'm like the heck with it. I would do what I can if i could for them, other than that my husband and I just love and give all the support to our kids and one another. It's their loss! ;0)
2007-10-18 22:19:56 · answer #4 · answered by Diamond 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, it sounds like our family! My husband has a brother and two sisters. Both sisters are doted on by my in-laws. The older sister-in-law has 4 kids and my in-laws love them, go over to their house, babysit and even give them better presents at Christmas. The best thing that ever happened to us was to move away. I don't know why people do this. Just learn from it and make sure you don't do it to your kids someday. It took me years to get over it. You'll never change your husband's family.
2007-10-18 22:21:32 · answer #5 · answered by Daphne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a normal family to me..Seems like most families have their favorites for some reason or another...And when it involves little kids they almost always get the better attention..Just realize they are this way and try not to let it bother you and just go on and don't even bother to try to outdo the other,,You will only get frustrated
2007-10-18 22:11:48 · answer #6 · answered by Eileen J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to spend any time with people who are not supportive of you, so quit wasting your time. Consider it a mandate to set yourself free. Form your own family and extended family from among your friends.
When his parents are too old to do anything for themselves, the two kids they spoiled rotten can change their nappies.
Your husband grew up and moved out, but has hung onto the hurt of being treated unequally. May I suggest EFT to help that (see link below).
In many cases, one's birth family is their first set of obstacles to overcome.
2007-10-18 22:23:56 · answer #7 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a kid??????
2007-10-18 22:17:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋