I am invited to a 60th birthday party of someone I am very close with. Two weeks ago she was diagnosed with terminal, non-operable cancer, and probably has 2 months left, if that. Her family was planning a surprise 60th birthday party for her, and they are still having the party. Can anybody suggest any gift ideas?
2007-10-18 14:49:44 · 56 answers · asked by steen 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Dont think of it as a "death" present. Instead buy the gift as if you dont even know that she will be passing away. As long as its from your heart, I am sure she will love it.
2007-10-18 14:53:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
Wow, that is a hard question... sorry for the situation you're going through.
I just couldn't come up with anything, but after reading many of the answers posted I agree with 2 things: 1) don't act like she's gonna be dying soon because that's what she needs the least right now. Act naturally around her, spend time with her during the party and the coming days/weeks, as much as you can.... she will appreciate it. A good gift to help her have this spirit (i.e. that won't make her feel like she'll be gone in 2 weeks) would be a nice body lotion, perfume, or something of the like that she enjoys. 2) it is also true that there is no tomorrow so give her something that she can enjoy immediately..... if you can bake something for her that'd be great, those are great personal & thoughtful gifts. Or a basket with stuff she likes, fruits, etc..... I hope she doesn't suffer and gets to enjoy these last weeks or months with her beloved ones.
2007-10-18 15:36:59 · answer #2 · answered by Lprod 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
A journal. There may be things the lady wants to say before she dies, which are better written down, and will be treasured forever. Also, a pretty lounging outfit or housecoat, for those days when she feels like being up and about a bit. These are the gifts I bought my daughter when she was dying. I also bought her a cozy sweater to wear on Christmas day, as well as creams and lotions, things of that sort. Nothing was wasted because it helped her to feel like less of an invalid in the three weeks she had left. No regrets.
2007-10-18 15:08:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
May I suggest you give the gift of time. Be there
to help in any way you can. Bring along memories
to share, photos etc. Bring along a smile to help
brighten the room and yes even a few boxes of
Kleenex---just in case. Oh yes, and a camera to
take some final photos of her life so those who will
be left behind can remember that special day.
2007-10-22 13:17:21 · answer #4 · answered by Precious Gem 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flowers, and a great card. A photo of you and a couple other of her friends with huge smiles and matching tee-shirts saying something like WE LOVE YOU!
Consider the comfort of her body. Good gifts are bath products. Gift certificates to a good spa, a movie theater, a bookstore.
If you have some bank, offer her a great experience. Find out from her family if she would love a hot air balloon ride, or a sailing excursion, or a private visit to a zoo or aquarium to get close to the animals.
Just your smiling, loving presence will be a wonderful gift.
Take care. I am very sorry you are facing the loss of your friend.
2007-10-18 14:59:14 · answer #5 · answered by Parrot Eyes 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
No.... but I would suggest that they plan something else. I'm sure your friend doesn't feel too much like celebrating a birthday. I would think all the guests would feel very uncomfortable also. I would take each day as it comes and if on her birthday she feels strong enough to see friends, then I would have them drop in throughout the day. The best gift is your friendship..... Be there..... Be there on the good days and the bad days..... Be there when she needs to cry. Be there when she thinks she can't go on. Be there when it gets too dark... Let her hear your voice...feel your touch....know you are there......... That's a Happy Birthday gift.
2007-10-18 15:04:33 · answer #6 · answered by Mercedes 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You probably have two options either something that is sentimental, like a picture in a nice frame or a nice note, or you can get something that they always wanted and couldn't get or find. Whatever you get her I doubt it would matter, her seeing you there at her party and through hard time might mean more to her than a gift.
2007-10-18 14:55:03 · answer #7 · answered by Steve 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make a donation in her name to the charity that she believes in, many times a charity will send you a card that states what has been done and you can present that to her on her birthday instead of a regular gift. Giving her something that she can't take with her and that will will not live long enough to get use from could make you both uncomfortable and remind her that death near.
2007-10-18 14:58:28 · answer #8 · answered by Candii JoJo is a groovy chick. 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Time with you. Find an activity that you both enjoy, whether it be going to tea or going to the spa, and get a gift certificate for it. The time spent together will be a wonderful memory for you in the time to come, and the reminder that she is still alive now so she should enjoy it is a wonderful gift for her.
2007-10-18 14:53:20 · answer #9 · answered by wolfwoods01girl 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
How about a journal book where it asks for answers to specific questions about their life? I gave one of these to Grandma. Or a bible that can be past down with the family tree history? Something that makes her comfy, depending on what she enjoys and her situation. Best of all, your love with a big hug and letting her know you are there through thick and thin and whatever she needs you are there. A phone call in the middle of thight, a midnight visit to hold her hand, that you are there. God bless.
2007-10-18 14:56:22 · answer #10 · answered by AtLarge 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
it depends on if shes a happy dying person or constantly depressed and crying...just remember anything non-perishable you get her will have to go somewhere. gift idea are endless. her favorite book might be a good idea, or her favorite movie or something like that, that she can enjoy one last time...the book is a good idea i think because it could get her mind off of her soon-to-come death, and make her a little happy at the same time
2007-10-18 14:54:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋