my daughter saw some of her classmates at soccer practice french kissing behind some trees. they are 10?

Question

and 11 yrs old. my girl has had a harder time this yr because she won't participate in the sexual games her classmates play.
the other kids parents don't supervise them very well, if at all.
if i say anything to the school or the parents the kids will know who told and pick on my daughter even more. she's having such a hard yr this yr. i don't want to do anything to make it worse for her.
now, my daughter is using her head and making good decisions and i'm sooooooooooooo glad that she is still open with me. i can tell when things are bothering her and i question her instead of ignoring it.
should i let the other kids carry on and hope the parents find out some other way? if they were paying more attention this probably wouldn't be happening!!!
or should i say something?? we have talked about the picking and she wants to try and deal with that part on her own for right now but said she would let me know if she needed me. but this sex thing scares me!!!
any advice????????????

most of the students in my girls class have older siblings and they get a lot of info they don't need. my daughter has had "the talk" and also about drugs and smoking and alcohol (sp?). i have told her there's nothing wrong with french kissing but it's not the right time yet. wait till your older.
i THINK the other parents would want to know. I WOULD! but some of the parents are like "boys will be boys" and whatever. the girls involved are the "popular" girls and i hate to see them try to stay popular by being "easy". i know it's not the right word for an 11 yr old but these girls do this stuff all the time since 3rd grade and the parents DO know about the past, so why don't they supervise more?? do they care??
it's very frustrating when i see my daughter get picked on for making GOOD choices.
sorry for venting!!

Answer 1

Just let your daughter know what is wrong and not, talk to her about sex and inform her, so that if she ever gets into that situation she does not feel preasured and knows how to stand up for herself.

Dont worry about the other kids, yeah i know what they are doing are wrong, especially at this young age, BUT that is for their own parents to worry about not you.

Just take care of your daughter and it looks like she already is a good girl, just keep talking to her, and help her any way you can so that she herself doesnt fall towards that sort of behaivour.

Answer 2

At 10 years old you most certainly can forbid her from "dating", She is still a child, you are the parent. If you don't take control of her now, imagine the mess you'll be dealing with when she's 12 or 13! If you see her doing this again, don't hesitate to walk out there and reprimand her right there, right then. This is extremely unacceptable behavior from a child that age. You need to stop this now, unless you want to be a grandmother when your daughter's in 7th grade. Some of these people are answering this question as if she's a teenager rather than a little girl....

Answer 3

Alright.. This probably isn't the thing you would like to hear... but it's going to happen. Sooner or later. She will learn and all that stuff but this generation is learning alot younger and alot quicker. Quicker then most parents would like.
I'm 16 and I still don't do that whole sex thing.. but that doesn't mean I don't know all my friends have.
Don't worry about a thing they won't mock her. And if they do explain to her that she does have a good head on her shoulders and she's making the right decisian. It's only middle school or even elementary school and that is certainly not the age for anything other then holding hands.
You just have to trust her and by the sound of it she is goign to be just fine. Don't worryy.
Whether or not to tell some one about it.. umm eek that is a hard question and personally if I was a mother I would like to know. Don't tell the coach because that will just get everyone of the kids in trouble not just the ones who were doing it.
Parents is the way to go.

Answer 4

Wow, at that age my friends and I were soooo much more innocent. Is this common behaviour for where you live? Or could it be one bad seed at the school who spread this behaviour? Any way to change schools to on ethat is more aware and looks after the children? I know if that were happening at my childs school and she was uncomfortable I woul dbe taking her out even if that meant placing her or him into a Catholic school-religious school sin my city seem to be more watchful and strict with behaviours, and I don't mind my kids learning about God since I'd be teaching them about many other religions at home as well-I like to have my kids open minded..But the schools are usually just plain upkept more.
Nothing against the public school board, but it is a fact that the religious schools get more money placed into them.
unfortunately I wish that wasn't how it was-but where I live it is. So if I were you, I'd switch schools to somewhere else.
If not, talk to the principals and teachers, and let them call the parents.

Answer 5

That is unacceptable. Alert all parents, teachers, principals, and coaches involved in the lives of those children. There must be other mothers who feel the same way. Form a group with those parents (preferable incluing the parents of your childrens' friends.) Let your daughter adjust for awhile before telling others or request anonymity.

Your daughters seem wonderful. Trust them, but try to sheild them from this behavior (at least until they are teens, who will do what they want.) Treat them to surprises for being such good girls. Questioning too much will lead to your daughters withdrawal.

Answer 6

If you are friends with the other kids moms and talk to them regularly enough, yes, you could say something. Don't make a conference call out of the blue though. And be sure to teach your child whats right and wrong, and mostly, make sure she sees that you respect her maturity and trust her, that will help keep the conversation open a little more. And remember, no parent can keep their child from the kind of world we live in, but just do the best you can.

Answer 7

the other kids are not yours to deal with. It's not your responsibility and it will just cause a lot of stress. Your concern is your daughter and the choices that she makes. You should be really proud of her! As for the picking, offer to let her transfer schools and see if she's keen on a new start with some other kids. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Jeez... I know where you're comming from here. At my school dating started in 3rd grade! =O It's terrible, there are all of these girls who will date a guy, kiss him, then dump him and repeat. They treat it like a game! And their only 13! I think that all your daughter needs to do is find a couple of good friends that will stick by her, even when she doesn't want to do what they do. After that, all she needs to do is ignore them and go about her day normally. =D Hope I helped!

Answer 9

your daugher is VERY smart. you are lucky she has such a good head on her shoulders. i dont think you have much to worry about, but it might make her feel better if you make it clear that that is a dumb thing to do and she is smart to be making such good decisions.

tell the school anoynimously or another parent that will if it realyyy matters that much. doesnt seem like your problem though, there the ones with the stupid kids.

Answer 10

Keep talking to your daughter in order to keep the trust you share. Try talking to the school and ask them to keep your anonymity. They may address the situation in an orderly and dissimulated fashion, by giving them classes or assemblies, sending letter to all parents and talking to the parents in how to deal with this matter.