I'm 16 and I live at home with three siblings who're all grade-school age. My mother and I as of late have not been getting along. She's had a lot of stress and her parenting is starting to slip. She's been yelling profanities at my siblings and I, and telling them that if they want to cry they should do it into a pillow, hitting us more, ect. I have been thinking about leaving for a while but she's recently told me that she can't wait until I leave and she'll be happy when I go, and that she wants me to leave as soon as possible.
So I've gotten in touch with child and youth services and tomorrow I have an appointment to tour a group home and hopefully make a good impression there. The rent, though, is 325$.
To pay rent I can either apply for student welfare or I can take my mom to court. She's going through a lot of stress and is tight for money but I'll need to make rent and SHE is the one asking me to leave. Opinions?
2007-10-18 14:37:17 · 9 answers · asked by ratemylunch 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You people don't know half the **** I have to go through being her child. She let me be abused for almost eight years, finally got out the relationship, and then we moved into a neighborhood with drugs and violence. She's only civil to me when she's high.
She's stressed because she's put herself in this situation. It's not my fault and thus I shouldn't suffer for HER problems. Thanks to the one person so far who answered like someone should. Not by insulting me but by answering my question.
2007-10-18 14:54:41 · update #1
16 is old enough to be emancipated. but, thats not the issue. You sound mature. What is the issue most important? If its that your mother is starting to verbally abuse her children, regardless of stress, she needs help for that. If her parenting is becoming less, is anyone picking up the slack for her?
You are becoming an adult, and she is losing her child to a man. (as in growing up) You don't really need her and she knows that. If you can get the youth services to recommend a counseling session for the 2 of you, then with someone there, you can be honest about your feelings and worries.
That you worry about her stress,
you worry things are difficult at home,
that you worry about the family situation,
that you worry she is happy to have you leave.
those are some big things you listed. If you think you can find a neutral time and place to talk with her, write out what you want to cover ahead of time, and talk. Listen. Be willing to work with her to make it work for all of you.
Keeping your relationship may be something you will want later,and it will require work now. Just like a marriage, the parent child takes work. If you have to leave the house, who can be there now to help out?
Growing up is never easy. She probably won't be able to help with any rent if you leave. If you plan on being a contributor to your welfare, maybe you start now, and contribute money to the household budget too? Help make a schedule for cleaning the house, and cooking, and take burdens off her? Just a thought. you may have already done this, and thats why you are ready to leave.
2007-10-18 15:07:57 · answer #1 · answered by almondsarenuts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear it sounds like you are in a really tight spot and I don't know all the answers. But when you talk to youth services and tell them what is going on in your life and how it is affecting you they may also decide that your siblings should be removed from the house as well. If your mother has turned to drugs as a way out she has a problem and needs help. Talk to them at youth services about maybe getting your mom into a rehab program to where she can get some help and then start to repair the distance between you and your mom.
I understand that you feel as if you have no other way out and this maybe the only way out. Youth services offer a great deal of programs that will help get your family on the right track or they can tear your family apart. They usually will try to work through the home and get things repaired and the issues resolved.
Dear I wish you the best of luck if you need a friend send me an email
2007-10-18 16:07:47 · answer #2 · answered by honeybeeinwv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if someone with child and youth services would be able to counsel you on how to repair the relationship with your mother. I know that may be the hardest thing to do, and honestly she sounds horrible to live with, but think of what will really happen if you leave home. Your other siblings will be left with her and she'll no-doubt become even worse if you take her to court because that will put more pressure on her. Your other siblings might also resent you for "getting out" and your mom certainly will. Those relationships might not be ones you can repair later on.
If you still decide to leave, I think the student welfar might be a better option. If your mom is having money problems it would seem to follow that you wouldn't get much out of taking her to court. I think doing that should be your last option.
2007-10-18 14:52:09 · answer #3 · answered by akivi73 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, why is your mother going through so much stress? Is it something that you are doing? Why does she want you to leave? If you cant handle living there anymore and you would be happier then may be you should find a place such as you have described to go to for a while. You should apply for student welfare to help pay the expenses. Maybe time away will help you and your mother. But please keep in touch to make sure that you sibling are OK.
2007-10-18 14:54:37 · answer #4 · answered by sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry that you and your siblings are going through this. It sounds like Mom is having a bad time and not dealing with her problems well. Apply for the student welfare and keep a door open so you can reach out to Mom at a later date.
2007-10-18 14:48:52 · answer #5 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude do u not care about ur mom???? shes under a lot of stresssss. do u ever care about her feeelings??? the reasons he tell u to leave and it would be so much easier for her is just becuz u are the one making it worse. stop being so selfish and look through her eyes alrite? dont take her to court. what kinda kid are u. u dont even know how understressed she is.
2007-10-18 14:49:13 · answer #6 · answered by whtevr 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sweetie, if your mother is using drugs then she's putting you all at risk. if your old enough to contact child services then you old enough to report her. She's abusing ALL OF YOU. not just you alone. Please get out and get your siblings out before it's to late. good luck.
2007-10-18 14:58:14 · answer #7 · answered by navywife_2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your a whint little teenager and if you get her to pay for your rent then your brothers and sisters go without ,and all because your a sook.
2007-10-18 14:46:57 · answer #8 · answered by me m 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
foster care is cheaper, and you can leave... maybe you'll learn in foster care about life
2007-10-18 14:51:25 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋