Liquor at my wedding?

Question

I’m getting married next winter and I come from a huge Latin family who loves to drink.. I’m having a nice wedding I’m the only one out of my brothers and sisters that is getting married in a church. My parents are so excited.

I’m getting some help from my family and future in laws.. His family is small.

The problem is I have been reading and also some family members are telling me to have a hosted bar at my wedding and its tacky for my guest to have to pay for their drinks.

I don't think I should pay for there drinks its going to cost me an arm and a leg. My guest list is already at 400 there is no way in hell I can pay that. I have told everyone that I’m going to have a cash bar at my wedding. I have done everything to accommodate them. I’m even paying for an extra room and a babysitter for a daycare at my wedding.

Am I wrong or is having a cash bar really that tacky?

Answer 1

No I don't think so. They should understand that you are paying for all the wedding stuff, no one know that you are getting help. I have never been to a wedding where it was an open bar, (free drinks).

Answer 2

I would have a wine & beer package that would be served upon a guest's request that is paid for by the bride and groom. If you are having 400 guests, it is difficult to say that you are having a cash bar, I know, but what choice do you have? I am running into that now myself. My children are giving me a birthday celebration dinner for a milestone age, (I am not telling) and it is a sit down dinner for 45 guests with wine & beer package. But they also decided after my urging that they should run a tab at the bar for anyone who wants a mixed drink or an exotic drink...My crowd are really not drinkers, so it will not cost that much. But in your case, it would run into lots of money. So it is your call.

Answer 3

This is a hard answer to give. Some people say have a cash bar, others say provide just beer and wine. The thing is YOU and YOUR HUSBAND are the HOSTS. Therefore, your goal is to make your guests comfortable. Yes, you are the main attraction and people are there to honor you, but you are inviting people to take a part in your wedding celebrations, so you cannot ignore your hosting duties.

If your family is the type to pitch a fit about having to pay for booze, definitely consider having wine and beer or just champagne and leaving it as that. If they won't care either way, do a cash bar. I've never been to a wedding that had a cash bar, but I guess they must exist, right?

Answer 4

Many Many People I run into have this problem, And of coarse you are not wrong, weddings are EXPENCIVE!. Here are some solutions:
1: You could have an open bar for the first hour or two, this is very common at weddings. That way you are being generous but you are keeping hold of your expenses. If you have an open bar all night, many people take advantage of it and use it as an excuse to drink all they can since it is free.
2: the other way to keep control, it to set up a deal with the bar people and hand out tickets to everyone and that ticket is worth one free drink at the bar. that way you can buy everyone a drink and you are again being gernerous and thanking them for their support, but on the otherhand you are making sure they are not taking advantage of you. and, you can control who you give your tickets to so if you want to give distant relatives one ticket and you brothers and sisters two or three, it works out good.
The other advantage of not having an open bar is that you will not end up with a place full of drunks puking and causing trouble for you. we all know drunk people can be stupid. by keeping control of the drinking many people will not drink as much because they have to pay making less stress for you.
You family and friends should be understanding. Obviously if you could afford to have an open bar all night you would be happy to. try not to worry so much about the party and your guests, this is your big day! Enjoy the wedding! Congradulations, I wish you and your husband the best!

Answer 5

First of all, it is YOUR WEDDING. I really think this mentality that at a wedding guests should get a "free-for- all -party" is becoming more of a pain for the couple than anything. It should be about celebrating your love for eachother not giving guests all they can eat and drink and start the couple out in debt because of it.
If you want to have a cash bar, I think that is perfectly fine.
I went to a VERY FANCY affair last year where a couple had a HUGE reception and their bar was a cash bar.They had a bottle of wine on each table to be shared with guests for the initial toasting of the bride and groom - after that it was up to each guest if they chose to purchase more drinks. It is not forced on guests so how can it be tacky???
CONGRATS on your impending nupials and make it a day you'll treasure - not stress over....

Answer 6

it is true, the bar bill may well be far more than the dinner. i have been to many weddings where there is a hosted 'cocktail hour' before dinner is served, where the bar is free. after the guests sit for dinner, any more drinking anyone wants to do they pay for themselves. everyone understands this and no one minds. yes, it is true that many sit down dinners have a waiter serving a red or a white wine, and they carry it to each table and serve it. this you would pay for also. but it would not be an unlimited amount of wine. so, absolutely not, a cash bar is not tacky.

Answer 7

I find it tacky, just because as a guest I do not expect to reach into my wallet, but I also feel you should not provide something you can not afford. I do not think alcohol beyond champagne is needed.

I would suggest a limited bar. Whether you limit the number of drinks or the type of drinks or the hours the bar is open to keep the expenses down. 400 people is a very large wedding.

Answer 8

Save your money and DONT have the alchol that is what I did. I cant drink because I take medications. I was in a wedding where the best man drank so much he feel down and passed out and to be very blunt he made and a$$ out of him self and he was an embarresment. If people dont like it tough are they going to pay for the debt incured having a bar and the best way not to pay for the alchol is not to have any in the first place and anyone who goes to the wedding for the spirits is cheesy and rude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

I have never been to a wedding that has had an open bar. They've always been cash bars or NO alcohol. I've never found it tacky or rude. I feel those who complain about cash bars only showed up because they thought they'd get free alcohol and a free night where they get trashed.

You could always have NO alcohol at the wedding, and then AFTER the reception, go out to a bar somewhere with those who do want to drink.

Answer 10

I wouldn't mind going to a wedding with a cash bar as long as there was something festive and free to drink....a big punch bowl with an inexpensive punch (ginger ale and orange juice concentrate etc.).
That way I would feel like a guest and if I wan something stronger I could go for it at the bar.
I'm curious what the parents (yours and his) think about the cash bar?